8 Chapter 7: Friends To Avoid In This Phase Of Your Life (1/2)
Ask anybody who ever regretted going to a university, or one who took a decision in his
school days that he has lived to regret all of his life and you will discover that most of such were led to take such decisions by the people they call friends.
This is a common tale among undergraduates who had become the exact opposite of what they were before they gained admission into the higher inst.i.tution. It is always their friends that are the cause of their woes. If you too will be careful, you will not fall into the hands of such wrong a.s.sociation. It is not written on their heads though, but it is easy, very easy to identify them if you see them. Highlighted below is a number of ways you can identify some of these friends you will need to run away from on campus.
1. STUDENTS WHO ABSENT THEMSELVES FROM LECTURES
Some students naturally hate going for lectures. They prefer to stay in their rooms and sleep, watch television, listen to sport commentaries, read novels, chat with friends, or just doing nothing, rather than go for lectures.
They simply detest it. They use every slightest excuse to keep away from cla.s.s, and try to formulate reasons why they should not go for lectures when they have none. It is so bad that some of them do not even have the semester lecture timetable. Some others still do not try to copy the notes they missed later in the day. They feel that they can always catch up in the examination hall if they
can just spare a week or two before the examination day to go through lecture notes photocopied from cla.s.smates, or when they attend a few tutorial cla.s.ses.
However, they are always disappointed. Compressing sixteen weeks of cla.s.s work into two weeks is not always an easy task. You will find a lot of students who engage in this type of lifestyle. At the initial stage, probably your first few semesters, it will sound very strange to you. After spending some time on campus, you also may be bitten by the same bug. But I will encourage you never to allow it bite you because failure to attend cla.s.ses is the foundation of examination failure.
2. STUDENTS WHO DISCOURAGE OTHERS FROM PERSONAL STUDIES
The primary reason why every student is in school is because of his/her academics. Every other reason is secondary. You will think that since academic is the vital reason for being called a student, every student will take their academics with all seriousness. But it will surprise you to discover that majority of students on campus live their life as though their academics has nothing to do with their stay on campus and will really make no difference whether they pa.s.s or fail.
Although, this group of students may attend their lectures religiously as if to appease or bribe the G.o.d of examination success, they do not take time out for personal studies. They do not open their notes to read until few weeks before exams and they expect a miracle to happen in the examination hall. This is not possible. Every student should have a daily personal study time where he reads everything he is taught in cla.s.s during the day so as to commit and retain them to his memory. This
should be your lifestyle as a student too.
Intentionally create out time for personal study everyday. Any student who does not do this, and worse still, encourages others not to do it (by always discouraging them when reading) should not be one of your friends.
3. STUDENTS WHO ARE KNOWN FOR PARTYING & CLUBBING
Now that you have just enough freedom to do anything you want and go anywhere you want anytime you want without taking permission from anyone, you will discover that you really need more things to fill up your spare time. You will be surprised to find out that, whatever course you are studying in school, academics alone will not be sufficient enough to fill all of your time on campus.
You will always have ample spare time and you will need to engage in some sort of social activities to become a more balanced student. This is where clubs, parties, and other social functions come in.
This is the sincere truth, there is nothing wrong in joining a registered and legalized club on campus or attending morally certified parties in order to catch some fun. You really will miss a lot if you go through your stay on campus without attending at least one of the important ones; such as your Departmental Dinner, Faculty Award Night, Jambites' Welcome Party, Orientation Programme, Hall Week, Fellows.h.i.+p Love Feast, etc. But you will soon be doomed if you spend all your time
attending all the parties on campus.
You will find some students who take this as their hobby. They take their time to find out details about all the social gatherings that go on both in the school and its environs and make sure that they do not miss out on any one of them, whether they are invited or not. These ones prefer
to miss their lectures rather than miss a show.
If you have such as a friend, you can be sure that it will only take some time, your lifestyle will soon harmonize with his/hers, and that may be the beginning of your downfall.
4. STUDENTS WHO SMOKE & DRINK HEAVILY
It is not good to smoke; and everybody knows this. Those who smoke heavily also know this; this is why you cannot find any of them boast publicly of being smokers.
The government knows this, and so they do not encourage anybody to smoke in public places. The
manufacturers know this, and so they give enough warnings to the consumers of their products.
Several years ago, if you check every packet of cigarette carefully, you will find written on it, ”the Federal Ministry of Health warns that Tobacco smoking is dangerous to your health”. But of late the inscription has changed to ”the Federal Ministry of Health warns that Tobacco smokers are liable to die young”.
Everybody knows it is wrong to smoke; it is no secret. n.o.body wants to die young, not when the warning is coming from the Federal Ministry of Health. You then wonder why people still smoke! It is because it is addictive. It is an act you cannot easily break away from. Just taste it once, and then you are stuck. This is why, despite all the warnings, there are still so many people who are stuck to it and who finds it difficult to break themselves from its hold. Same goes for hot drinks and
alcoholic drinks.
You may not have tasted any of these two before now and you may hate those who do them, but your tolerance for them keep increasing the moment you begin to have smokers and drinkers as friends. With time, your defense breaks down and at such time you are likely to begin to see that it is not really very wrong to either smoke or drink. When you get to this stage, then you are already in
soup. So it is better not to go near anyone who drinks and smoke, than to believe you can always control yourself in their midst.
5. STUDENTS WHO ENGAGE IN CULTISM
The word 'Cult' and 'Cultism' may seem scary to you now. This is because you have not yet met too many people who are in cult. Your mindset before now is that most of the cultists on campus will be tough-looking, roughly-dressed, hard-faced and unnecessarily huge guys with scary face that could send one to the pit of h.e.l.l.
But you will soon be disappointed. One of the first few things you will discover in school is
that those who are in cult do not really look like cultist. They really do not look like social miscreants, mischief makers, or street urchins. They are nice looking, handsome guys. They dress so well, speak so nicely, walk so straight, look so innocent, and behave so gently that you think they are the nicest beings on earth. Do not be deceived by how they look, they are deadly.
Once you become a friend of one of them, you are likely to be invited to join their dark clubs where they hold their secret meetings. If you refuse to join willingly, they try to cajole you.
Whatever they promise you; wealth, fame, power, examination success, connections, babes, are all baits to cajole you into joining their evil groups. Do not fall for it. They may keep their words, but you will pay dearly for whatever they give to you. You will pay with your nose.
They will give you a painful initiation and give you a.s.signments that are difficult to carry out. You may even be required to shed the blood of other students, even your loved ones. Such violent activities are not strange among them. They punish you for every little offence, as little as absence from meetings, or refusal to carry out their a.s.signments, whatever your excuse. This is why you
need to be careful with who you befriend in school.
If the cajole does not work, they may decide to threaten you or sometimes force you. When it gets to this, it is better to report to the school authority if you do not want to lose your life.
This is why it is better you do not have any relations.h.i.+p with any of them so as to be on the fair side. Prevention is better than cure.
6. STUDENTS WHO HATE THEIR LECTURERS & COURSES
You can choose to hate anything or anyone you want to hate on your campus (although this is not advisable since the Greatest Book on earth teaches that we should all love one another) but never hate your lecturer or your course.
It is commonplace to find students who hate their lecturers with a pa.s.sion. They hate him so much that they do not want to attend his lectures. They may have genuine reasons for doing this; may be the lecturer is strict, harsh, nonchalant, or is known for dreadful disciplinary measures. Naturally, it is easier to fall in love with lecturers who are more understanding, more jovial, more accommodating,
more hospitable, and who can condone anything from students, including insults. Such lecturers, if there is any on your campus, will be the students' favourite.
Any lecturer who cannot shut his eyes to their unserious att.i.tude, accommodate their laziness, absence from lectures, lateness to cla.s.s, refusal to do a.s.signments and unruly behaviours in cla.s.s will definitely not be in students' good book, especially the unserious students.
Other students may still find a way of coping with such lecturers, but students who really are not too serious with their academics will find it seemingly impossible to live with their excesses, hence their hatred for them. So, if you have any of such cla.s.smates, you now know why he hates the innocent lecturer with such pa.s.sion.
Unknown to so many students, when you hate your lecturer, there is a high possibility that you will unconsciously transfer the same level of hatred to the course he teaches. These will invariably result in absence from his lectures or withdrawal from reading through his cla.s.s notes which eventually leads to poor preparation for, and poor performance in his examination, the consequence of which is failure.
So, be careful. When you notice a cla.s.smate has an intense hatred for a particular course or the lecturer who teaches the course, such is not a potential friend. Never make the mistake; he can transfer the hatred to you by constantly speaking evil of the lecturer in your ears every time until you begin to groom bitterness in your heart against the lecturer.
7. STUDENTS WHO ARE KNOWN FOR EXAMINATION MALPRACTICE
Examination malpractice is a serious issue in schools; it is not taken lightly. Anyone caught cheating in the examination hall may not go unpunished if found guilty by the school's disciplinary committee. The person could be suspended, rusticated or expelled from school
untimely.
What has this got to do with you? Being a close pal of such a person may incriminate you. Imagine if he calls you in the examination hall, you may feel guilt if you refuse to answer him at such dire moment, and you may get yourself into problem if you do. What if he pulls your cloth or he throws something at you in order to get your attention and an invigilator catches both of you?
Why will you want to befriend such a person when you know the odds against you are higher? Be a wise student.
8 . STUDENTS WHO DRESS NUDE & IMMORALLY
Every student must dress sensibly and morally. This is because you are from a responsible home and your parents will not expect you to do otherwise. Even if you claim not to be from a highly responsible home, you still desire to grow into a responsible adult and would not want the activities of your school days tarnish your future image.
Most students on your campus will not reason like this anyway. They will put on just anything. In fact, the more you bare, the more celebrated you become on our campuses today. How much pound of flesh you are willing to expose will determine how much accolade you get. This should not be encouraged. Most of these nude-dress-ideas are gotten from celebrities whose costumes are meant only for the musical videos or TV commercials for which they are used and not intended to be worn beyond the filming location. Some students see these commercials and begin to compete in order to outdo one another in showing off their underwear and baring their private parts. This is
madness of the highest order.
The school environment is neither a runway or fas.h.i.+on parade floor. So, indecent dressing should not be encouraged. If you have any friend who dresses this way, you are likely to join the chorus in no time. So, it is better to choose friends whose dress sense matches your moral value so you will not put yourself in temptation.
9. STUDENTS WHO DATE THEIR LECTURERS
Some students can do anything, just anything but the right thing for the sake of their academics. They are so wayward that they can sleep with their lecturers just because of a few extra marks or an opportunity to see the examination questions before the examination day. They become his bedmate and thereby service his s.e.xual urge constantly in order to get one favor or the other from him. Their school of thought is; you must use what you have to get what you need. This is not common to ladies alone, both parties do it.