Part 29 (1/2)

Wall, she had her skirts all on when I went in, all a foamin' and a s.h.i.+nin', down onto the carpet, in a glitterin' pile of pink satin and white lace and posys. Gorgus enough for a princess.

And I didn't mind it much, bein' only females present, if she wuz exposin' of herself a good deal. I kinder blushed a little as I looked at her, and kep' my eyes down on her skirts all I could, and thinkses I to myself, -- ”What if G. Was.h.i.+ngton should come in? I shouldn't know which way to look.” But then the very next minute, I says to myself, ”Of course he won't be in till she gets her waist on. I'm a borrowin' trouble for nothin'.”

At last Miss Flamm spoke and says she, as she kinder craned herself before the gla.s.s, a lookin' at her back (most the hull length on it bare, as I am a livin' creeter); and says she,,” How do you like my dress?”

”Oh,” says I, wantin' to make myself agreeable (both on account of principle, and the lawsuit), ”the skirts are beautiful but I can't judge how the hull dress looks, you know, till you get your waist on.”

”My waist?” says she.

”Yes,” says I.

”I have got it on,” says she.

”Where is it?” says I, a lookin' at her closer through my specks, ”Where is the waist?”

”Here,” says she, a pintin' to a pink belt ribbon, and a string of beads over each shoulder.

Says I, ”Miss Flamm, do you call that a waist?”

”Yes,” says she, and she balanced herself on her little pink tottlin' slippers. She couldn't walk in 'em a good honerable walk to save her life. How could she, with the instep not over two inches acrost, and the heels right under the middle of her foot, more'n a finger high? Good land, they wuz enuff to lame a Injun savage, and curb him in. But she sort o' balanced herself unto 'em, the best she could, and put her hands round her waist -- it wuzn't much bigger than a pipe-stem, and sort o' bulgin' out both ways, above and below, some like a string tied tight round a piller, - and says she complacently, ”I don't believe there will be a dress shown to-night more stylish and beautiful than mine.”

Says I, ”Do you tell me, Miss Flamm, that you are a goin' down into that crowd of promiscus men and women, with nothin' but them strings on to cover you?” Says I, ”Do you tell me that, and you a perfesser and a Christian?”

”Yes,” says she, ”I paid 300 dollars for this dress, and it haint likely I am goin' to miss the chance of showin' it off to the other wimmen who will envy me the possession of it. To be sure,”

says she, ”it is a little lower than Americans usually wear. But in fas.h.i.+on, as in anything else, somebody has got to go ahead.

This is the very heighth of fas.h.i.+on,” says she.

Says I in witherin' and burnin' skorn, ”It is the heighth of immodesty.”

And I jest turned my back right ont' her, and sailed out of the room. I wuzn't a a goin' to stand that, lawsuit or no lawsuit. I wuz all worked up in my mind, and by the side of myself, and I didn't get over it for some time, neither.

Wall, I found my companion seated in that comfertable place, and a keepin' my chair for me, and so I sot down by him, and truly we sot still, and see the glory, and the magnificence on every side on us. There wuz 3 piazzas about as long as from our house to Jonesville, or from Jonesville to Loontown, all filled with folks magnificently dressed, and a big garden layin' between 'em about as big as from our house to Miss Gowdey's, and so round crossways to Alminy Hagidone's brother's, and back agin'. It wuz full as fur as that, and you know well that that is a great distance.

There wuz some big n.o.ble trees, all twinklin' full of lights, of every coler, and rows of s.h.i.+nin' lights, criss-crossed every way, or that is, every beautiful way, from the high ornimental pillers of the immense house, that loomed up in the distance round us on every side, same as the mountains loom up round Loontown.

There wuz a big platform built in the middle of the garden, with sweet music discoursin' from it the most enchantin' strains. And the fountains wuz sprayin' out the most beautiful colers you ever see in your life, and fallin' down in pink, and yellow, and gold, and green, and amber, and silver water; sparklin' down onto the green beautiful ferns and flowers that loved to grow round the big marble basin which shone white, risin' out of the green velvet of the gra.s.s.

Josiah looked at that water, and sez he, ”Samantha, I'd love to get some of that water to pa.s.s round evenin's when we have company.” Sez he, ”It would look so dressy and fas.h.i.+onable to pa.s.s round pink water, or light blue, or light yeller. How it would make Uncle Nate Gowdey open his eyes. I believe I shall buy some bottles of it, Samantha, to take home. What do you say? I don't suppose it would cost such a dretful sight, do you?”

Sez he, ”I s'pose all they have to do is to put pumps down into a pink spring, or a yeller one, as the case may be, and pump. And I would be willin' to pump it up myself, if it would come cheaper.”

But my companion soon forgot to follow up the theme in lookin'

about him onto the magnificent, seen, and a seein' the throngs of men and wimmen growin' more and more denser, and every crowd on 'em that swept by us, and round us, and before us, a growin' more gorgus in dress, or so it seemed to us. Gemms of every gorgus coler under the heavens and some jest the coler of the heavens when it is blue and s.h.i.+nin' or when it is purplish dark in the night time, or when it is full of white fleecy clouds, or when it is a s.h.i.+nin' with stars.

Why, one woman had so many diamonds on that she had a detective follerin' her all round wherever she went. She wuz a blaze of splendor and so wuz lots of 'em, though like the stars, they differed from each other in glory.

But whatever coler their gowns wuz, in one thing they wuz most all alike -- most all of 'em had waists all drawed in tight, but a bulgin' out on each side, more or less as the case might be. Why some of them waists wuzn't much bigger than pipe's tails and so I told Josiah.

And he whispered back to me, and sez he, ”I wonder if them wimmen with wasp waists, think that we men like the looks on 'em. They make a dumb mistake if they do. Why,” sez he, ”we men know what they be; we know they are nothin' but crushed bones and flesh.”