Part 9 (2/2)
I did not consider that I was called upon to unfold more particularly to my wife the cynical estimate of the case which I entertained in my secret soul, especially in view of the fact that the committee which had waited upon me comprised not merely politicians, but some of our best citizens. Although a man who is invited to run for Congress in a district hopelessly hostile is likely to cherish secret suspicions as to the sincerity of those who offer him the nomination, the bait of self-sacrifice for the public good has lured many a cleverer man than I to his destruction. Besides, a fighting chance invariably seems more prodigious to the one who is said to have it, than to anyone else.
There were certainly weak joints in the armor (an a.n.a.logy supplied me by the committee) of my opponent, who was a dyed-in-the-wool politician, and indisputably I had a great many friends. Could I afford to disregard the piteous, eloquent argument of the spokesman, Honorable David Flint, that the sacred cause of Reform demanded me as its champion, and that victory was possible only under my banner? I had promised to think it over, which was a coy way of stating that I would accept. Having made up my mind to run, I was obliged to tell Josephine that this would mean good-by for many a long and weary month to our jaunt.
”If you're elected, Fred, I shall be only too glad to postpone it. And if by any chance you don't get in, we'll forget all about it in dear j.a.pan.”
”You do not quite understand the situation, pet. We stay at home in any case, election or no election. The expenses will eat up my savings for a rainy day in j.a.pan. I shall have to contribute handsomely to everybody and everything. It's an outrage, but one of the painful results of having greatness thrust upon one.”
Thereupon Josephine flung her arms around my neck and informed me that I was not only a dear, n.o.ble hero, but that j.a.pan or no j.a.pan, she would not begrudge one copper of any sum I might be obliged to spend in order to defeat that odious wretch, Mr. Daniel Spinney. A few days later, after my letter of acceptance was published, she said that she did not see how anyone who had the least respect for the sacred right of suffrage could hesitate between us.
”Spinney is not such a bad fellow at bottom,” I replied, albeit touched by the warm partisans.h.i.+p of my wife.
”Didn't I read in the newspaper this morning that he is a notorious spoilsman?”
”Very likely, dear. Spinney has always called Civil Service Reform a humbug.”
”And he is all wrong on the tariff.”
”We think so.”
”Well, then, how can you say that he isn't a bad fellow at bottom?”
”I mean, Josephine, that apart from politics he is a very decent sort of person. I couldn't help thinking while I was chatting with him yesterday that there was something quite attractive about him. He isn't exactly the kind of man I should hold up as a model to my sons, but, as I said before, he is by no means a bad fellow.”
Josephine had been looking at me aghast ever since the opening sentence of this speech. ”You don't mean to tell me, Fred, that you stopped and chatted with that wretch?”
”Indeed I do. We happened to meet, and so we hobn.o.bbed for five minutes on the street corner and drew each other out in the friendliest sort of fas.h.i.+on as to our mutual prospects. He says he has a walk-over, and I told him that he isn't in it.”
”I'm glad you showed a little spirit, anyhow.”
”What would you have had me do? Make a fell a.s.sault upon his hair and eyeb.a.l.l.s? As it was, I perpetrated a deliberate falsehood in the good cause. He knows that I know I am beaten from the start.”
”Nonsense,” said Josephine. ”You provoke me, Fred, when you talk in that fas.h.i.+on. What was the use of accepting if you didn't intend to win if you could?”
”So I do intend, but I can't.”
”You can't certainly if you hobn.o.b with the rival candidate and call him a good fellow.”
”You ought to have been a politician, Josephine.”
”No, I'm only crazy to have you win, Fred, and I'm convinced you can win if you only think so yourself and pitch in as if you thought so. I dare say Mr. Spinney may be well enough apart from politics, but it is politics we are interested in at present, and it seems to me it is your duty to hate him--until the election is over, anyway. If you defeat him, you may ask him to dinner, if you like.”
Her eyes sparkled like diamonds, and there was a dangerous look in them which would have boded ill for Mr. Spinney or any other Republican had he happened to thrust his head inside our doors just then. As for me, I felt a little sheepish at my lack of courage, I must confess, and I cried with genuine ardor:
”Hurrah for Reform! You're right, my dear,” I added, ”I must pitch in.
I haven't been quite so pusillanimous, however, as it would seem, for I have got Nick Long to superintend my campaign.”
You may remember that Nicholas Long, or Nick Long, as we always speak of him, has never stood high in Josephine's good graces on account of his unorthodox habits regarding church-going. He has an unpleasant way of encountering us on our way to the sanctuary in the toggery of a man who is going to take a day off in the country. He has, however, a cool, a.n.a.lytical mind, and his name has been a.s.sociated for some years with reform politics. In obtaining his services as a manager I felt that I had done well and wisely. Josephine looked a little sober, as though she was not altogether gratified at my selection, but realizing, very likely on second thought, that the children's habits were formed, she contented herself by remarking:
”I shall keep my eye upon him and make sure that he doesn't get you into any mischief.”
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