Part 9 (1/2)

I shook my head, and answered wearily: ”Worse than that.”

My wife regarded me in anxious silence, while manifestly she was cudgelling her brains to divine what could have happened. As she told me afterward, she imagined, from my doleful air, that I must at least have a seed in my little sac.

”They have asked me to run for Congress in this district,” I finally vouchsafed to state.

Josephine dropped her fancy-work and sat upright with an air of satisfaction which was wholly out of keeping with my own dejected mien.

”Really, Fred! Who has asked you? The Governor?”

”The Governor does not usually go round on his bended knees asking candidates to run for Congress,” I answered, with mild sarcasm.

”Well, the Mayor then?”

I have labored for years to make plain to Josephine the ramifications of our National, State, and Munic.i.p.al Government; but just as I am beginning to think that she understands the matter tolerably well, she is sure to break out in some such hopeless fas.h.i.+on as this, which shows that her conceptions are still crookeder than a ram's horn. And the strangest part is that she can tell you all about the English Parliament and Home Rule, and whether any given statesman is a Liberal or a Liberal Unionist, and about M. Clemenceau and the relative strength of the Bonapartists and Orleans factions. But when it comes to distinguis.h.i.+ng clearly between an Alderman and a State Senator, or a Member of Congress and a Member of the Legislature, she is apt to get exasperatingly muddled. I asked her once, in my most impressive manner, why it was that she did not take a more vital interest in the politics of her native country, and after reflecting a moment, she told me that she thought it must be because they were so stupid. On the other hand, with apparent inconsistency, she has many times expressed the hope that I would some day be conspicuously connected with them. I have been conscious for some time that it would suit her admirably to have me round off my professional career as Speaker of the National House of Representatives or Minister to the Court of St. James.

”Josephine,” I said, in a tone of despair, ”have I not explained to you time and time again that Members of Congress are the Representatives from the several States who are sent to Was.h.i.+ngton? How could the Governor, who is a State officer, or the Mayor, who is a munic.i.p.al officer, have anything to do with the nomination of a Member of the National House of Representatives? Only think, dear, what you are saying.”

Probably Josephine would have evinced more contrition in tribute to this harangue had not her ears been fascinated by my reference to the Capital of our country.

”It _was_ stupid of me, Fred. Do you mean to tell me, dear, they are going to send you to Was.h.i.+ngton? That would be perfectly delightful.”

”I merely have been asked to accept the nomination for Congress in the Fourth District,” I answered, dryly.

”And what did you tell them?”

”I said I would think it over.”

”You must accept. Of course you will accept? It would be splendid, Fred. I would a great deal rather have you in Congress than go on our trip to j.a.pan. I have often thought I should like to pa.s.s a winter in Was.h.i.+ngton.”

By dint of economy and some shrewd investments I had managed to save up a vacation fund of more than normal size, by means of which Josephine and I were proposing to enjoy a jaunt to j.a.pan. We had been looking forward to this excursion, which I felt that we had fairly earned by strict devotion to home and business ties for a long period of years.

”The district is hopelessly Republican, in the first place, my dear, and I, as you know, am a Democrat.”

Josephine looked grave for a moment. ”But a great many Republicans would vote for you, Fred. Oh, I am sure they would!” she added, eagerly, impressed by the plausibility of the idea. ”Harry Bolles is a Republican, and I am certain he would vote for you; so would Dr.

Meredith and Sam Bangs.”

”They are three out of several thousand voters in the district, Josephine. You argue like the committee which waited upon me.”

”They said a great many Republicans would vote for you, didn't they?

And they thought you would be elected?”

”They were kind enough to state that I had a good fighting chance; which means, my dear, that I haven't the ghost of a show.”

Josephine regarded me a moment distrustfully. ”It doesn't seem to me there is any use in being too modest about such a matter as this, Fred.

Somebody has to be elected, and it might as well be you as anybody. I have always hoped you would go into politics, you know. If they hadn't wanted you they wouldn't have asked you.”

”The only certain thing about it is, that, if they had supposed I could possibly be elected, they wouldn't have offered me the nomination.”

”What do you mean, Fred? I call that mock modesty, darling.”