Part 33 (2/2)
Dino smiled. ”They aren't our best hand-to-hand fighters, and Clay seems weirdly awkward with anything but a gun, but they do the training. They hit the gym just like the rest of us. Rafael wouldn't trust the safety of Jean-Claude and you to any guard he didn't trust.”
I thought about that. ”Of the other werelions, who's the best? Who do you guys like?”
”Payne is too much like Haven,” Dino said. ”He's a thug and not a deep thinker.”
”Jesse is okay,” Nathaniel said.
”I think he'd be softer if he were in a pride that let him,” Dino said.
”I agree,” Nicky said.
”What about the women?”
”We haven't seen them,” Dino said.
”Haven ran his pride like some of the ultramale prides do,” Nicky said. ”The women are second-cla.s.s citizens, almost cloistered away from any other wereanimals. Most werelions take a lot of pride in the fact that their lionesses don't want or need to go outside the pride for s.e.x.”
”Most animal groups stay within their own animal, right?” I asked.
Everyone agreed.
”There's a reason for that,” Stephen said quietly. ”If we go outside our animal groups, we can have misunderstandings just based on being different beasts.”
I almost let it go, but in the end I did the girl thing and said, ”You and Vivian aren't having troubles because you're a wolf and she's a leopard.”
He looked away. ”I know that.” His tone, his body language all said, Leave it alone Leave it alone. I did the guy thing; I left it alone.
”So the fact that so many of the St. Louis wereanimals interdate is unusual?” I asked.
”Very,” Dino said.
”Haven saw your rejection of him for Nathaniel and Micah, and all the rest of us, as a direct challenge to both his maleness and his lion,” Nicky said.
”I couldn't make him my one and only, and he didn't share well enough to sleep in big kitty piles with us.”
”No, he didn't,” Nicky said.
”Am I missing something here?”
”Anita, you can't save everyone,” Nathaniel said.
”I'm a cop, I know that.”
”Do you?” He took my hand in his, and I let him this time. ”You're blaming yourself for Haven and Noel, but the only thing you could have done differently would be to have killed Haven sooner.”
I met those serious lavender eyes. I studied his face. ”You believe that, don't you?”
”Even if you'd let Nicky fight him, Haven would still be dead.”
”But Noel wouldn't be,” I said.
Pity, sorrow filled his face as he took both my hands in his. ”Anita, how do you think I feel? Noel died saving me. If it had been one of the guards, I'd be sad, but it's their job. It wasn't Noel's job to die for me.”
”G.o.d, Nathaniel, I hadn't thought . . .” I hugged him. ”I'm sorry; I'm being a selfish b.a.s.t.a.r.d. It wasn't your fault. You didn't ask Noel to do it.”
Nathaniel pulled me away from him enough to see my face. ”It isn't your fault, either, and you didn't ask Noel to give his life for mine.”
We stared at each other, inches away, our hands on each other's arms. There was pain in both our faces.
”I don't mean to be callous,” Nicky said, ”but whatever you're feeling, get over it. We need both of you to meet the tigers and be charming and s.e.xy. Guilt is not s.e.xy.”
I gave him an unfriendly look, but Nathaniel said, ”He's right.”
I looked back at him. ”How can you just . . .”
”Forget?”
I nodded.
”I won't forget, but we need to make this city, this territory, as safe as possible. That means we need the tigers, Anita. We need for you and Jean-Claude to be the Master of Tigers.”
”I don't know if I can do this, be this.”
”Just go make nice with the tigers that Micah picked, that's all, don't worry about more.”
”I could have s.e.x with them, I think, but it's the idea of keeping them. They're strangers and suddenly they get to be in the bed with us, too. I'm not getting enough alone time with you and Micah now.”
He smiled then and drew me into his arms. ”I miss it just being the three of us, too.”
”Should my feelings be hurt?” Nicky asked.
I looked at him, but he was smiling. ”Yes, they should be,” I said, ”but they aren't, are they?”
”No, because my primary drive is for you to be happy. Micah and Nathaniel make you happy.”
”Aren't you allowed to work for your own happiness?” I asked.
”I don't think that's what a vampire's Bride is for,” he said, and he sounded so calm about it.
”What are they for?” I asked.
”Cannon fodder, unquestioning obedience, I don't know.”
”You were afraid of what I did to Jamil and Shang-Da in the hallway.”
He frowned and looked uncomfortable. ”Yeah, that scared me.”
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