Part 46 (2/2)
”Help her how?” I asked, a bit fuzzy on how sending one person a dead rat gift-wrapped could help her best friend.
”I was trying to get her to quit.” He nodded at the girl sitting on his chest. ”Tiara deserves her own show. She's so talented and beautiful and-”
”And you wanted to give Tiara her big break,” I finished. ”Because you're-”
”Soul mates,” he finished. ”I thought if I helped her get her own show, she'd realize how much I love her, and we'd be together forever.”
Houston. Kenny has a problem.
”Really? And how's that working for you, Kenny?” I asked, thinking a bit of Dr. Phil's get-real strategy couldn't hurt.
”I was just trying to make Keelie quit, is all,” Kenny said, ”so Tiara would get her shot.”
”You send me road kill, lace my water with a laxative, knock my agent over the head, and scare us half to death at a haunted murder house. You turn out the lights when I'm riding a mechanical bull. You lock me in a Porta-Potty-”
”Hey, I was there, too-” I interjected.
”-and you kidnap the man I love and almost run me over with his car, and all because you wanted to give your dream lover a shot at the big time! That's sick!” She pointed a finger at his nose. ”You're sick.”
”The things we do for love,” I observed.
”You had me terrified, never knowing what would happen next,” Keelie continued. ”I was scared to death!”
Kenny got a strange look in his eye. Well, stranger.
”Maybe you should be,” Kenny said.
”Should be what?” Keelie asked.
”Scared to death.”
Keelie and I exchanged uneasy looks.
”What do you mean? What are you saying?” I asked.
”Some of those...unfortunate occurrences she just rattled off? The laxative. The kybo. The rat.” Kenny shook his head. ”That wasn't me.”
Keelie gasped.
I stared.
Highly...illogical.
Manny, along with police and EMTs arrived, unfortunately, eliminating any opportunity we had to question our Klingon captive further. Once we'd explained what led up to the intergalactic foot chase across Riverside and Kenny's admission regarding Tiara's kidnapping, he was read his rights and taken into police custody.
Our two innocent, and nude, bystanders were given blankets (Thank goodness!) until clothing could be retrieved. Voyeur-and Team Trekkie Captain-Drew Van Vleet suffered a badly sprained ankle when an out-of-control Klingon careened into him and was transported to the county hospital.
The rest of us had been invited to the sheriff's office for interviews and statements.
It was a cl.u.s.ter only the Syfy channel could love.
And, inevitably, led me to wonder, why, oh, why, did this keep happening to me?
The sheriff's office conference room looked like something from the movie s.p.a.ce b.a.l.l.s.
With an ensemble cast that included Jessica Rabbit and a CPA going through a midlife crisis, a ginger Uhura, Yeoman Rand sporting hairy legs and a Bozo 'fro, a visibly shaken Langley ”Bones” Carlisle number Three, a Hollywood agent with a b.u.mp on his head the size of a Tribble, and an engaged couple caught with their pants down while exploring their own wild sides, we made a tough act to follow.
”Don't you think it's weird how Kenny admitted to some of the incidents, but not others?” I asked Keelie while we waited for an update.
She shrugged. ”He's a freak, what do you expect?”
”Still.”
”He's a liar,” Keelie said. ”What else do you need?”
”Closure,” I said.
And to have the mental images of a Free Willie Frankie and his roll-out-the-buck-naked-barrel fiance deleted from my memory banks.
The door opened. A tear-stained, and very emotional, Tiara Fordham rushed into the room, followed by Patrick Dawkins, Manny, a uniformed deputy, and a woman dressed in nicely coordinated and smartly tailored civvies.
”Tiara!” Keelie jumped to her feet and embraced her BFF. ”Thank G.o.d you're okay! I was so worried. What happened? Where were you?”
Keelie led her shaking friend to a seat.
”It was awful! Just awful! Out of nowhere this ugly little Klingon grabbed me and took off with me. At first I thought it was a gag. Or a drunk having too much of a good time. Then he takes me to this smelly old van and bounds and gags me. I was so scared. It was so creepy! There were pictures and drawings of me tacked up all over the walls of the van. I thought. Oh, my G.o.d! It's Fatal Attraction all over again! I was terrified! I thought I was gonna die!”
Keelie put an arm around Tiara.
”I'm so sorry I didn't believe you earlier,” she said. ”So, so, sorry.”
Tiara dabbed at her eyes.
”So, what's the deal, Sheriff?” Vinny approached the uniformed officer. ”What's up with the sicko? He cop to the kidnapping?”
The sheriff frowned and looked down at Vinny. ”Your questions will be answered all in good time, sir,” He pointed to the woman in the gray slacks and white blouse. ”This is State DCI Agent Sandra Marshall. She's a.s.sisting with the investigation. We've taken Mr. Grey's statement. Along with Miss Fordham's kidnapping, Grey's admitted to abducting Mr. Whitver, stealing his car, and trying to run you down, Miss Keller.”
”Oh, G.o.d. And Jax? How is Jax?” Keelie asked.
”You can see for yourself, Miss Keller,” Agent Marshall said. ”He'll be here shortly.”
”Thank G.o.d!”
<script>