Vol 2 Chapter 13 (2/2)
He embraced me from behind and softly said “Go to sleep!” I smile and then ask “In the morning, are you really going to pay a visit to the estate of the Crown Prince tutor?” He laughed “You call me shameless, but your behavior was pretty low as well. He’s the Crown Prince’s tutor and not a random stranger. I ought to pay him a personal visit.” Word is that the tutor has a shrew for a wife so he’s found a beautiful and elegant mistress on the side. He tried to keep this a secret, but when I ran the dancing houses I learned about all the juicy scandalous details about the court officials.
When I heard from Uncle Chen that the guy I knocked out was the tutor to the Crown Prince, I immediately realized that he was sneaking home from his mistress’s place. I gave Qu Bing an idea to send word to the tutor asking if his temper is more important, or his wife’s temper? The tutor will obviously let this issue go rather than escalate it. Who cares about some thief if he’s dealing with an irate wife. Too bad Qu Bing has decided to be a gentlemen on this matter.
My sleepiness. .h.i.ts and I yawn. He quickly says again “Go to sleep!” and I murmur a yes before falling into peaceful slumber.
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When I wake up it’s already time for dinner, but Qu Bing is not home. Uncle Chen said he’s in the Palace and sent word that he’ll be late coming home so I should eat dinner first. I suddenly remembered that I left the house so quickly I didn’t say anything to Hong Gu, so I decide to go back to Luo Yu House.
The moment I enter the house, Hong Gu walked up “The s.h.i.+ Enterprises…….:” She hit herself on the forehead “It’s not the s.h.i.+ Enterprises anymore….Tian Cao sent word asking you to please visit the s.h.i.+ Estate.” I hesitated so Hong Gu urged me “They are insisting you please go, apparently Jiu Ye is very sick.”
When I left last night he was not doing so well, so my heart remains concerned about him. I quickly say “I’m off to the s.h.i.+ Estate. Please keep some dinner for me, and if nothing is terribly wrong, I’ll be home shortly.” Hong Gu smiled and said yes.
I arrive at the s.h.i.+ Estate only to find Tian Cao sitting outside on a carriage waiting for me “I’ve been waiting for you! Jiu Ye is outside the city in the Qing Estate, I’ll take you there right now.” I quickly ask “What happened? If he’s not well, how come he left the city?” Tian Cao sighed “Jiu Ye was always p.r.o.ne to colds and this time he’s especially hit hard. He wanted to not worry you so he tried to pretend he was fine, but he lost consciousness shortly after you left. The royal physician was by and ordered us to move Jiu Ye to the Qing Estate.”
My heart was aching. I can’t pretend I don’t know why he got to be so ill. To cut off an emotion is already such a painful process, why can’t he stop trying to be considerate of me and start taking better care of himself? If something were to really happen to him, how could I bear it? How I could seek my own happiness if that happened?
It’s a blanket of chilly white frost in Chang An, but the Qing Estate benefits from the hot springs nearby and already the first signs of Spring are appearing. Some flowers and greenery are sprouting but neither Tian Cao nor I are in any mood to appreciate it. I run straight for Jiu Ye’s room. He was still unconscious and his forehead was burning hot. Sweat beaded down his face and I took the handkerchief from the maid “Let me do it!”
I’ve switched many handkerchiefs but his body temperature still doesn’t go down. His lips are starting to crack and I moisten a towel and gently wipe his lips. He’s so feverish but he keeps calling out “Yu Er” and each time he called me I reply “I’m here.” The pain in his face seems to lesson and he appears to smile. Tian Cao spoke up “Now you know why I insisted you come. Your presence makes a huge difference to Jiu Ye’s illness.”
Xiao Feng arrived and appeared to say something to Tian Cao, hopping around urgently. Tian Cao called me over but Xiao Feng wanted to object but Tian Cao ignored him. “Xiao Yu, I don’t want to keep anything from you. General Huo has sent someone to the s.h.i.+ Estate multiple times to look for you. And he’s already been by personally even though it’s the middle of the night. If you want to leave, I’ll send someone to take you home.”
After keeping vigil all night, I can see that it’s almost sunrise. I’m so anxious with worry and exhausted that I simply sigh and walk back to the water basin to pour some cold water on my face. I look at the still unconscious Jiu Ye “No need. I’ll stay here until Jiu Ye wakes up.” It was until noon that Jiu Ye’s fever finally went down and my tightly wound heart finally relaxed slightly.
Jiu Ye opened his eyes and when he saw me, he smiled “They finally found you. Where did you run to in Xi Yu? I’ve turned that place inside out and still I couldn’t find a trace of you. Yu Er, please don’t be mad at me. It’s my fault. After I read all the handkerchiefs in your box, that was when I knew what a horrible mistake I made…..”
I was so shocked I wanted to say something but the doctor next to me shook his head. I walked over and gently said to Jiu Ye “I’m going to get a drink of water and will be right back.” Jiu Ye looked at me with worry and I smiled “I’ll be back after getting a drink. I won’t go anywhere.” His nervousness eased and he nodded his head.
I walked outside and Tian Cao spoke up first “Didn’t his fever break? What’s going on? Why is Jiu Ye not coherent?” The doctor explained “Don’t worry. After a prolonged fever, the fever has broken but he’s not fully conscious yet. His mental energy is weak and he’s thinking based on what he wants to remember and not based on rational thought. He will naturally try to forget the bad memories and just remember what makes him happy. After a good sleep he’ll regain coherence. But right now Jiu Ye musn’t be stimulated with anything negative. His body and mental state are in a relaxed and safe place right now, but it’s also highly vulnerable to shock. If you aren’t careful, he can get worse. You guys just let him talk and follow along. Try to get him to sleep, and after he wakes up, he’ll be all fine.”
Tian Cao looked at me and I nodded back. I walked inside and saw that Jiu Ye was staring at the doorway the entire time. He saw me come in and his face showed his unfettered joy. It’s a happiness that isn’t hidden with any other emotion and seeing it so suddenly makes my heart jolt. I a.s.sist Jiu Ye to rest on a comfortable cus.h.i.+on and take the food from the maid to feed him. He indicated for me to open the window.
Outside the window is a flowing hot spring. and the hot steam makes it feel like we’re in a fairyland. “……I heard that one time grandmother was playing the zither in this room and grandfather had to go discuss a business deal and had to leave. But he was reluctant to leave so he kept looking backward at grandmother as he walked out. So the servants call this corridor the “Turning Neck Corridor”, and when grandfather found out, he was happy rather than upset………” I don’t know when the room emptied out until it’s just Jiu Ye and me left. Jiu Ye’s voice is the only sound in this otherwise silent room.
He held my hand “Grandmother wasn’t in the best of health and she died before I was born. I often think of my grandparents walking along this corridor holding hands. If my life was half of what my grandfather experienced, then it will be worth it. Yu Er, am I too late with these words? Will you still let me view the flowers with you?”
My hands were trembling but he held on tightly. I didn’t answer for the longest time and his eyes started to show despair so deep and thick it could drown a person in it. It was so painful to see that I could feel my heart breaking into pieces. I nod my head with certainty “I’m willing. Once you are all better, we can go visit Tian Shan (the Sky Mountains) to see the snow lilies.”
My words are like a magic elixir and it calms the tempest in his eyes. His grip on my hands loosened and he started laughing with joy “The Heavens are indeed fair to me. Thank you for giving me Yu Er.” My eyes filled with tears. The Heavens, you are surely not fair. He lost his loved ones when he was young, he’s crippled, and even if he has all the riches in the world, it has turned into the world’s most vicious chain locking his freedom in a vise.
“Yu Er, are you crying? Did I make you cry again……” I forced a smile “No, I’m happy. The doctor says you need to keep calm and get plenty of rest. Do you want to sleep now?” He reached out and wiped the tears from my eyes and pulled me into his tight embrace. He’s so forceful it feels like he wants to lock me in his embrace forever “Yu Er, Yu Er, Yu Er….let’s never be apart ever again. Since you left, I’ve hurried to do everything so I can disappear from Chang An. Once I arrange everything, we can go to Xi Yu. Buy two of the fastest horses and we can quickly and thoroughly disappear.”
“Yes” and my tears continue to fall on his shoulder. He continued “I’ve always wanted to be a real doctor. Once I settle everything in Xi Yu, why don’t we open a small clinic. I can treat patients and you can gather medicine for me. I’m sure business will be swell.” I reply “With your talent at healing, business will be so good we will barely have time to even have tea.” He countered “That won’t work. Patients are important but I want to spend time with you. Why don’t we hang a sign that we’ll only see twenty patients a day.”
“Okay. And if anyone forces you to see them, I’ll kick them out.” “We can build a cabin in the Sky Mountains where we can spend the Summers.” Everything sounded so real I laughed “In the Winter we can go see the volcanoes.” “Yu Er, the fish in the Gu Nai s.h.i.+ Lake are supposedly quite delicious. I can grill some for you. You’ve never sampled my grilled fish, right? It’s a recipe I perfected from the cla.s.sic texts. Rumor has it that Huang Di (the first Emperor) himself ate it. I don’t know if it’s real or legend, but I’m sure the flavor is out of this world.”
“Um hmm, I heard the herders say that the Gu Nai s.h.i.+ Lake waters change color with the seasons. It changes from blue to green to almost white, almost twenty different colors. I visited twice with the wolf pack so I’ve only seen two colors.” “Why don’t we live on the lake for a year then, so we can see all twenty colors. Yu Er, where else do you want to go?”
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Jiu Ye fell asleep on my shoulder, his face relaxed and with a smile on his lips.
I gently place him on the pillow and turn around to look out the window. The sun is setting outside and the dusk is bathed in a blood red light. I turn back to look at Jiu Ye’s happy visage and suddenly all the strength in my body disappears. I sink down to the ground and stare at Jiu Ye and start bawling. But I don’t dare make any sound, so I bite down on my hands to keep myself from crying out. But my tears rush forward like an unending flood.
Dear Heavens, I pray of you, please be kind to him just this once. When he wakes up tomorrow, let him forget everything that happened today. Forget everything, forget everything……
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