Part 4 (2/2)

”Well, sir, we'll allow that the duel was only a joke (and I hope and trust that your report is correct); is the reputation of your captain only a joke, allow me to ask? I request to know who of you dared to propagate such injurious slander?” (Here there was a dead pause.) ”Well, then, gentlemen, since you will not confess yourselves, I must refer to my authority. Mr Simple, have the goodness to point out the person on persons who gave you the information.”

But I thought this would not be fair; and as they had all treated me very kindly after the duel, I resolved not to tell; so I answered, ”If you please, sir, I consider that I told you all that in confidence.”

”Confidence, sir!” replied the captain; ”who ever heard of confidence between a post-captain and a mids.h.i.+pman?”

”No, sir,” replied I, ”not between a post-captain and a mids.h.i.+pman but between two gentlemen.”

The captain bit his lip, and then turning to the mids.h.i.+pmen, said, ”You may thank Mr Simple, gentlemen, that I do not press this matter further. I do believe that you were not serious when you calumniated me; but recollect that what is said in joke is too often repeated in earnest. I trust that Mr Simple's conduct will have its effect, and that you will leave off practising upon him, who has saved you from a very severe punishment.”

When the mids.h.i.+pmen went down below they all shook hands with me, and said, that I was a good fellow for not peaching: but, as for the advice of the captain, that they should not practise upon me, as he termed it, they forgot that, for they commenced again immediately, and never left off until they found that I was not to be deceived any longer.

The postman came on board with the letters, and put his head into the mids.h.i.+pmen's berth. I was very anxious to have one from home, but I was disappointed. Some had letters and some had not. Those who had not, declared that their parents were very undutiful, and that they would cut them off with a s.h.i.+lling; and those who had letters, after they had read them, offered them for sale to the others, usually at half price. I could not imagine why they sold, or why the others bought them; but they did do so; and one that was full of good advice was sold three times, from which circ.u.mstance I was inclined to form a better opinion of the morals of my companions.

I mentioned the reason why I was so anxious for a letter, viz., because I wanted to buy my dirk and c.o.c.ked-hat; upon which they told me that there was no occasion for my spending my money, as by the regulations of the service, the purser's steward served them out to all the officers who applied for them. As I knew where the purser's steward's room was, having seen it when down in the c.o.c.k-pit with the Trotters, I went down immediately. ”Mr Purser's Steward,” said I, ”let me have a c.o.c.ked-hat and a dirk immediately.”

”Very good, sir,” replied he, and he wrote an order upon a slip of paper, which he handed to me. ”There is the order for it, sir; but the c.o.c.ked-hats are kept in the chest up in the main-top, and as for the dirk, you must apply to the butcher, who has them under his charge.”

I went up with the order, and thought I would first apply for the dirk; so I inquired for the butcher, whom I found sitting in the sheep-pen with the sheep, mending his trowsers. In reply to my demand, he told me that he had not the key of the store-room, which was under the charge of one of the corporals of marines.

I inquired who, and he said, ”Cheeks, the marine.” [This celebrated personage is the prototype of Mr n.o.body on board of a man-of-war.]

I went everywhere about the s.h.i.+p, inquiring for Cheeks the marine, but could not find him. Some said that they believed he was in the foretop, standing sentry over the wind, that it might not change; others, that he was in the galley, to prevent the mids.h.i.+pmen from soaking their biscuit in the captain's dripping-pan.

As I could not find the marine, I thought I might as well go for my c.o.c.ked-hat, and get my dirk afterwards. I did not much like going up the rigging, because I was afraid of turning giddy, and if I fell overboard I could not swim; but one of the mids.h.i.+pmen offered to accompany me, stating that I need not be afraid, if I fell overboard, of sinking to the bottom, as, if I was giddy, my head at all events _would swim_; so I determined to venture. I climbed up very near to the main-top, but not without missing the little ropes very often, and grazing the skin of my s.h.i.+ns. Then I came to large ropes stretched out from the mast so that you must climb them with your head backwards. The mids.h.i.+pman told me these were called the cat-harpings, because they were so difficult to climb, that a cat would expostulate if ordered to go out by them. I was afraid to venture, and then he proposed that I should go through lubber's hole, which he said had been made for people like me.

I agreed to attempt it, as it appeared more easy, and at last arrived, quite out of breath, and very happy to find myself in the main-top.

The captain of the main-top was there with two other sailors. The mids.h.i.+pman introduced me very politely:--”Mr Jenkins--Mr Simple, mids.h.i.+pman,--Mr Simple, Mr Jenkins, captain of the main-top. Mr Jenkins, Mr Simple has come up with an order for a c.o.c.ked-hat.” The captain of the top replied that he was very sorry that he had not one in store, but the last had been served out to the captain's monkey. This was very provoking. The captain of the top then asked me if I was ready with my _footing_.

I replied, ”Not very, for I had lost it two or three times when coming up.” He laughed and replied, that I should lose it altogether before I went down; and that I must _hand_ it out. ”_Hand out my footing_!” said I, puzzled, and appealing to the mids.h.i.+pman; ”what does he mean?”

”He means that you must fork out a seven-s.h.i.+lling bit.”

I was just as wise as ever, and stared very much; when Mr Jenkins desired the other men to get half-a-dozen _foxes_ and make _a spread eagle_ of me, unless he had his parkisite. I never should have found out what it all meant, had not the mids.h.i.+pman, who laughed till he cried, at last informed me that it was the custom to give the men something to drink the first time that I came aloft, and that if I did not, they would tie me up to the rigging.

Having no money in my pocket, I promised to pay them as soon as I went below; but Mr Jenkins would not trust me. ”Why, sir,” said I, ”do you know who you are speaking to? I am an officer and a gentleman. Do you know who my grandfather is?”

”O yes,” replied he, ”very well.”

”Then, who is he, sir?” replied I, very angrily.

”Who is he! why he's the _Lord knows who_.”

”No,” replied I, ”that's not his name; he is Lord Privilege.” (I was very much surprised that he knew that my grandfather was a lord.) ”And do you suppose,” continued I, ”that I would forfeit the honour of my family for a paltry seven s.h.i.+llings?”

This observation of mine, and a promise on the part of the mids.h.i.+pman, who said he would be bail for me, satisfied Mr Jenkins, and he allowed me to go down the rigging. I went to my chest, and paid the seven s.h.i.+llings to one of the topmen who followed me, and then went up on the main-deck to learn as much as I could of my profession.

<script>