Part 38 (1/2)

I helped him undress. He crawled into bed and I sat down next to him.

Tell me the story about Mom again, he said.

I sighed.

Please? he asked. he asked.

She was my friend when I was young like you, I said I said. We went to school together.

Like me and K.?

Yes.

But you went away, he said. he said.

I went to college.

She didn't go?

No.

Then what?

When I came home for summer the second year, we hung out together. That's when she got pregnant with you.

Then what?

She was scared. It's not easy to have a baby.

But you helped her.

I took her to the doctor many times. I tried to help her.

Then what happened?

Then you were born. You came too early. You were supposed to wait for another month, but you came early. You had a lot of problems because you were too small. Your mom got scared and she left, so Memaw and I took care of you.

Did Mom love me?

I'm sure she did.

Was she nice?

She was very nice.

Did you love her?

I tried.

But you don't like girls?

No.

You don't like girls because you're gay?

That's right.

You like boys?

Yes.

Why?

I don't know. That's how G.o.d made me.

So you and Mom got divorced?

We weren't married. We dated for a while, that's all.

And then you had me?

Then we had you, I said. I said.

Where is Mom now?

She went to heaven.

Can she see me?

Yes.

Can she hear me?

I think so.

Can she visit me?

I don't know. She'd have to ask Jesus for permission, I think.

Can she hear me if I pray?

Of course.

He folded his hands over his chest and closed his eyes and was silent for a long minute.

Okay, he signed, opening his eyes. he signed, opening his eyes.