Part 37 (1/2)

Eyes turned to look at us.

I had one of those moments when I genuinely wished the earth would split apart and receive us into its fiery bowels.

The crowd in front of the Warrens parted, and Mr. and Mrs. Warren were suddenly aware of our presence. Mr. Warren got unsteadily to his feet. Onlookers gave him room.

”What are you you doing here?” he asked, looking at me with undisguised contempt. doing here?” he asked, looking at me with undisguised contempt.

Mrs. Warren stood behind him, twisting her hands together, lips moving as if she was trying to find her voice.

”You killed my daughter!” Mr. Warren shouted.

”Harold,” said a man behind him in a calming voice.

”I will not be silenced!” he exclaimed. He shook a finger at me. ”If it hadn't been for you... I wish she'd never laid eyes on you, you dirty h.o.m.os.e.xual!”

”Harold,” the man said again, louder, more urgently, the voice of someone encouraging him not to make a fool of himself.

Harold was having none of it.

”I wish to G.o.d she'd never met you!” he croaked, stepping forward unsteadily. ”Oh G.o.d, my baby's gone! How can this be happening to me?”

”I'm sorry,” I said.

”Oh, you're sorry?” he said, mocking me. ”The h.o.m.os.e.xual is sorry! The man who ruined my daughter... he's sorry! Oh G.o.d in heaven! If I ever see you on my property, Wiley Cantrell, I'll put so much buckshot between your shoulder blades you'll be wearing your a.s.s for a hat! Oh Christ, how could you do this to me?”

”Harold,” an older, commanding woman said, putting a hand on his arm and trying to steer him back to the couch. This was his sister, a stern-faced matron named Grace Mary.

”Why are you here?” Mr. Warren demanded, shrugging her off and looking at me. ”How dare you! Haven't you done enough?”

”I invited him,” Mrs. Warren said from behind him in a halting voice.

There was a hush.

”You what?” he asked, turning to look at her.

”I invited him,” she said. I could see her s.c.r.e.w.i.n.g up her nerve, plucking up her courage. Then a steely determination came over her features.

”You?” he asked, incredulous.

She pointed a trembling finger at Noah. ”That boy is all we have left of our daughter, Harold. Do you understand that? He's the only grandchild I'll ever have and you will not take him away from me. You're punis.h.i.+ng him for something your daughter did. You're pus.h.i.+ng him away because you don't want to face the truth. Well, I've had enough of it.”

”You know perfectly well how I feel about this,” he said. ”I do not want this man or this child... I will not... you know how I feel!”

”Oh, yes, I do,” she said, nodding her head. ”But maybe it's time you paid attention to how I feel.”

”After what this young man did to our daughter?” Mr. Warren said, glancing at me.

”Kayla was already on drugs,” she said. ”You know that, Harold. Would you stop blaming everyone else for what you and I did? You drove her away, Harold. You! You! She could never please you, never make you happy, and in the end she decided she didn't care anymore and she ran away. From us, from her baby, from her life. You did this, Harold! I'm not about to stand here while you drive away my grandson, too. You can go to h.e.l.l for all I care.” She could never please you, never make you happy, and in the end she decided she didn't care anymore and she ran away. From us, from her baby, from her life. You did this, Harold! I'm not about to stand here while you drive away my grandson, too. You can go to h.e.l.l for all I care.”

52) Is she sleeping?

ALL THIS THIS time, I stood with Noah in front of me, my hands on his shoulders, holding him close to me. He turned in my arms. I glanced to the side and saw the couple in front of the coffin had moved aside. Noah suddenly caught sight of his mother. time, I stood with Noah in front of me, my hands on his shoulders, holding him close to me. He turned in my arms. I glanced to the side and saw the couple in front of the coffin had moved aside. Noah suddenly caught sight of his mother.

”Ma?” he exclaimed fearfully into the stillness, his eyes riveted on the coffin and its contents.

Dozens of eyes turned to look at him.

Not knowing what else to do, I led him slowly to the coffin, ignoring those staring at us, and held him as he stood there gazing at her.

”Haah!” he grunted in confusion.

He looked up at me, his face full of anxiety.

Is she sleeping? he asked. he asked.

I shook my head.

But she looks like she's sleeping!

She went to heaven to talk to Jesus.

No! She's sleeping! She must be sleeping!

No, I said, shaking my head slowly. I said, shaking my head slowly.

He turned to the coffin, his body stiff with fear.

”Ma!” he said very loudly.

She didn't answer.

”Ai of ewe!” he wailed.

He turned back to me again, his eyes full of confusion.

Why won't she answer me?

She can't, sweetie.

Why doesn't she ever answer me?

She went to be with Jesus.

It's not fair!