Part 10 (2/2)

I pull my knickers back on, but I've no idea where that bra went. ”Have you seen my bra?”

But Tom's still sitting up, his back to me, head down, and I don't think he heard me.

”Tom?” I rest my hand on his back and he flinches away.

That is not the response I wanted.

”Oh G.o.d, Kaz...” Tom still isn't looking at me. ”What have we done?”

If I was feeling confident and clever, I would make a joke about the birds and the bees.

I don't.

When Tom turns round, he isn't looking at me the way I want him to.

He's looking at me as if he's frightened.

RUBY.

I hope Kaz is OK...

KAZ.

No.

I pull my dress on too fast and I get stuck, plumbing the depths of indignity as Tom tugs it down over my bra-less b.r.e.a.s.t.s because I was trying to cover myself up as quickly as possible.

I want to be sick.

”Kaz, please, let's just talk-”

”No.” It's the only word I've said since he told me the truth.

”Let me explain.”

”No.”

”It's you I want to be with, not her.”

”No.”

”Does that mean...?”

I'm going to have to say something. ”It means nothing, Tom. It means don't talk to me. It means I can't believe what you've done.”

”So it does mean something?” Even when he's this far in the wrong, Tom can't help but try to be right.

I put my face as close to his as I can, close enough that he can't miss the tears I'm crying or the pain I feel when I say it again. ”No.”

Spying my bra under his sleeping bag, I grab it and back out of the tent, not even bothering to check whether the coast is clear. I hurry away from him, from what we've done, from what I have become.

Even as I clear the circle of tents, I glance back, half hoping that I will see the boy I love running after me, begging me to forgive him, telling me that he loves me, that there is something he can do to make this right...

That he didn't just cheat on his girlfriend with me.

There's no one there. Tom zipped his tent shut the second I left.

An ugly sob hiccups out of me and I nearly cannon into someone else on the path. For a horrifying second I recognize the pale pink hair, but Stella's too preoccupied draping herself across whoever it is she's walking with, and before either of them can see who's knocked into them, I've hurried past into the shadow of a nearby gazebo.

If there's one thing that could make this worse, it's anyone knowing what I've done.

SAt.u.r.dAY.

12 * HAMMERING IN MY HEAD

RUBY.

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