Vol Chapter 6 (2/2)

I couldn’t be sure of his expression, but his low voice hurt my heart. …Was he crying?

“If you know the answer, tell me… Allen.”

The boy spoke my name, which hadn’t been said once since entering this World.

I briefly s.p.a.ced out, and once I snapped out of it, the boy had already vanished. …Where did he go? I looked back at the small door.

“…Teacher,” I whispered.

Teacher was up ahead. I had to get back. …With all of them. Saying it to myself aloud, I was about to twist the doork.n.o.b when I felt a slight warmth on my palm.

“…Help me.”

“…!”

A voice I’d heard before took away my senses. The energy left my body, and my vision went black.

My body was embraced with warmth. Did I know what this was…?

“…Will you stop s.p.a.cing out?”

A blunt voice spoke from above. Someone poked me awake. In front of me was… not the boy from earlier, but a long-haired girl who greatly resembled him, looking at me sourly.

…Who? I stared at her dimly, and she lightly slapped my cheek.

“…Ow. Who are you?”, I asked, stroking my cheek, and the girl seemed even more displeased.

“You don’t know, huh? Give me a second.” The girl cleared her throat and took a few deep breaths.

“…There was a white house on the corner of a street. In this house lived a mother, a father… and a boy who loved books.”

The tone was the same as the voice I had heard repeatedly in the Worlds. A kind voice that warmed my heart. Indeed, it was her voice I’d heard many a time in my dreams.

“You’ve realized now? Good, good. …You’re such a crybaby, even in your dreams. You smell like tears. …Exactly like him.”

“…Why did you talk to me?”

“Hm? Well… Because you hadn’t renounced anything yet. …You’re still trying hard to get it back. That’s why I was nosy.”

The girl approached and grabbed my hand. Her warmth tickled my palm.

“I’m a bit lost. And I can’t see very well anymore. …Would you guide me? Don’t worry, you’re able to see the way. Just go down that path.”

The girl pointed in a direction with empty eyes. There was a straight brick road of reddish-brown. Holding her hand, I walked along it, careful that she didn’t trip.

“The rabbit said that six people had come to this World. Er… Adding you, I guess it’s actually seven.”

“Fiona. …I think that was my name. Yes, that sounds right. I have no soul anymore. Now… it’s just like little teeny shards he’s gathered together.”

“…Do you mean our teacher?”

“Yes, the one you call Teacher. He’s my brother, my only relative. He lets his hair grow so long, even though I’m sure he learned how to cut it a long time ago. Honestly, it’s so wimpy and pathetic of him to not let go. He’s not going to get anywhere dragging around all that weight! He’s an idiot, he is. Stupid, stupid moron!! UGH!!!”

Fiona started rambling fiercely. In appearance, she resembled the young Teacher I’d seen earlier, but her personality didn’t seem very similar at all. I continued forward as she spoke, and finally came to a door. It wasn’t locked, so we went through.

As soon as the door was open, I smelled a pleasant aroma. The smell of paper and new books. It was a lot like the library I always went to. Though it was much smaller than any libraries I knew, and had fewer books.

“Ah, it smells like books. Hey, Crybaby. Do you see a stain on the right side of the back wall?”

…Was she calling me Crybaby? Feeling a little uneasy, I checked where she told me. Like Fiona said, there was a large stain on the wall that stood out. I told her about it.

“Then maybe this is that library we used to go to. It was a small one, but we loved it. …But it was torn down ages ago. To think it would stick around like this.”

Fiona let go of my hand and walked around by herself. Her walking was unsteady, so I tried to support her, but she groaned “I’m fine” and pushed me away.

“Please. I’ve come here a lot, you know. …Could this be it? The story about dreams he wrote.”

She took a white book out of the bookcase in front of her. It said “Nightmare” on the cover, with an unfamiliar name written underneath.

“He told me he’d come here before, to this dream.”

“Dream? …Hah, he would say that, wouldn’t he. If it really were a dream, his heart wouldn’t hurt so. Well… Maybe this place is more like what’d you call heaven or h.e.l.l,” she muttered, stroking the book’s cover adoringly.

“…? But I’m not dead yet.”

“Yes, so maybe it’s a more in-between place than that. …There must a simple reason why you’ve come here. Probably because you’ve lost x.x.xX.”

…x.x.xX. The word was obscured with static again.

“The cat said he stole just one thing from me. …Did he mean x.x.xX?”

“Cat? You mean the one with the smarmy laugh? …Did you believe everything that cat said?”, she asked rudely. “The words of a demon who treats people’s sorrows as his feasts?”

Certainly I wouldn’t believe everything out of his mouth. But there was nothing else here to rely on, so I had little choice. I reluctantly nodded.

“Hm. How could you believe something you’ve never seen or experienced? …Maybe you can believe because you have no clue. Hah, how strange.”

Fiona smiled with pity and put the white book back.

“Those demons don’t have faces or names. That means they don’t have responsibility, either. You must be awfully honest to trust them. …Liars are everywhere. The world can hardly contain them all. And gullible people… also everywhere.”

With a sad look, Fiona embraced my hands in her warmth again.

“But it’s only the gullible ones who get hurt. Maybe G.o.d’s just a s.a.d.i.s.t.”

Her black eyes looked into the distance. But they weren’t like Teacher’s gla.s.s marbles. She, despite claiming to not have a soul, had much more human-like eyes.

“Just kidding. Ah, I love the smell of books. Never get tired of it.”

I let go of Fiona’s hand, and she stumbled around the room again. Though keeping my distance, I watched her carefully.

Fiona ran her finger horizontally along the books in another bookcase. She took out the thickest book and showed the cover to me.

“What does the cover say?”, she asked, twisting her neck.

“Um… Name Encyclopedia?” I read the t.i.tle, and she hummed curiously as she a.n.a.lyzed its thickness.

“And it’s so thick. There are just that many names, are there…? Heehee. Apparently my name means ”bright.” My teacher gave it to me.

“Your teacher? Miss Revis?”

“That’s right. Our beautiful teacher, with long brown hair, who’s a little scary when she’s angry, but very kind. Though, before I fell asleep, she was saying that after she got married, she’d quit in a few years. She seemed to want to have a child, so we all celebrated. She looked very happy, telling us she hoped to have a girl, and how she wanted to name her Chelsy.”

“Chelsy…”

So Chelsy’s mother was Fiona and Teacher’s teacher… Meaning the sender of those letters I found in Chelsy’s World was most likely our teacher. I hadn’t expected there to be such a connection.

“Miss Revis always put her all into coming up with names. She told us she really agonized over ours, too.”

“…What’s Teacher’s… your brother’s name?”

“…David. It means ”recipient of x.x.xX.”“

…x.x.xX. I tried to echo her words, but I just couldn’t do away with the static.

”Yes, x.x.xX. But he said the name didn’t suit him, because he was wasn’t someone who was x.x.xXed. He hated to use that name. But… he knows x.x.xX. He was certainly x.x.xXed. By me, our teacher, the director, his new friend. And now, by all of you.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. But he didn’t realize that it was x.x.xX.”

“What… is x.x.xX?”

“…Oh? Why, x.x.xX is all around us. Look, there’s x.x.xX here, and x.x.xX over there. Even talking to you now is a show of my x.x.xX for you, Crybaby. When you realize that, that’s when you can have x.x.xX for yourself. …And if you don’t notice? Then it’s no different from a pebble on the ground. Saying you don’t know it is just an excuse.”

After kindly explaining, Fiona walked over to another bookshelf and repeated her searching action. I wondered, what was she looking for? When I approached, she jumped, and her finger stopped.

“…Hey, what color is this?”, she asked me seriously, taking a small notebook out of the bookcase.

“White. It’s completely white.”

“…And inside?”

With a curious look, she flipped the pages to show me. Absolutely nothing was written.

“Blank pages. They’re all blank.”

“So it’s blank. …It’s always been blank ever since then,” she remarked with disappointment. Her gloomy look was the spitting image of Teacher. I asked if she was okay.

“No, it’s okay. I just wanted to check. There’s a door there. It’s unlocked, so… Let’s go to the other side.”

Fiona grabbed my hand and poked me in the shoulder. There was a door between the bookcases. I opened it.

It was eerily silent through the door, and there seemed to be only darkness up ahead. The faint warm wind and sound of gravel below my feet told me that we were outside.

Watching her carefully and making sure not to trip myself, I slowly headed forward. Our footsteps echoed in the quiet area.

After a while, we arrived at a large lake. There was a big swirl in the water, like someone had mixed white paint into it. There seemed to be no going any further.

“…Looks like we’re here.”

She stood beside me and looked into the lake. Her body was staggering, so I fidgeted with worry that she’d fall in.

“This is a sky of souls. This is where they’re reborn. Both souls eaten by demons and souls that lose their power can be reborn. …But I’m too weighed down to fly. So I can’t.”

“…You can’t?”

“Yes,” she replied, staring into the rippling water. “You know it’s impossible to get a crumpled paper back to being creaseless. I’m sure even he’s noticed that. But he depends on me, clings to me, and is hurt. And I’ve lost my soul, lost my sparkle. I can’t guide him anymore. Even if I’m his sister.”

Fiona closed her eyes with a self-deprecating smile.

“You… You should grow to be people who can break away. …Renouncing facing oneself. Renouncing acknowledgment. Renouncing improving oneself. Renouncing attachment to life. And he renounced taking notice of anything around him. What you’re about to see is the fate of a person who ends up that way.”

“But I…”

“You haven’t renounced anything yet. You haven’t given up. You have to always look at the road ahead. There’s no point in looking behind.”

She turned to me and held my hand in hers. The warmth spread through my body.

“This is the end. …My last light.”

“…!”

Warm sunlight. Mom’s soft voice. Dad’s big hands stroking me gently. Slightly burnt bacon with sunny-side up eggs. Newly-made friends in a new place. Teacher, who was at times unreliable, but always extremely concerned for us. The hands that held mine when I hurt. This… warmth.

“I remember…”

A hole inside me was filled at once. My heart which had shrunk so much in this World couldn’t hold it all, and it began to pour out my eyes. I stayed still, feeling that which filled me.

“…Oh, you’re crying again. Hah, you really are a crybaby. There there, there there, there, there… It’s okay.”

Fiona held my hand tight and recited a charm. My heart was strangely eased as I listened to it. Her fingers wiped away the liquid pouring from my eyes.

“It’s up to you to change the ending of the story. And now that you have it back, I’m sure you’ll be fine. …Good night, Crybaby.”

I woke up collapsed in front of the door. I got up and looked around. The thing I’d gotten back seemed to be producing warmth near my heart.

I had to go. My body moved before I could think. I turned the k.n.o.b and threw the door open. The room looked like a cramped storeroom.

My eyes stopped on a white-covered book stuck between thick books on a bookshelf. Pulling it out, the cover and back were both blank, with no t.i.tle or anything. Flipping through, I saw dates and diary entries.

I bought a house. Well, but it was formerly a facility. It’s much too big for me; I can see myself getting lost easily. I’m indebted to Cliff once again. I should really thank him later.

That was the first page. The next few pages were all idle thoughts, but starting at one of the pages, things took a turn.

Today I met a girl. A few days ago, she was found near a house that burned down, and seems to be the daughter. She insists there’s someone other than her. She seems to have another personality. So I gave her double the furniture and such. I wasn’t sure what to do, but at any rate, I’ve finally found a research subject. She’s now in my care. No symptoms at the moment.

No symptoms at the moment, it said at the end. And it mentioned subjects for research.

I met a second girl. I received a letter three days ago that had all the particulars. Perhaps because of what she’s been through, she’s much less cheery. She’s reluctant to talk with me. She enjoyed talking with the other girl, albeit not for very long. It may be slow, but I’ll try to get her talking with me. No symptoms at the moment.

The third. I met a boy. I was surprised, but given his mother, I decided to take him in. He talks plenty, but he’s… illogical. He was a little awkward with the two girls, but they’re playing together a few days later. Today he put about three frogs on my head. He’s a bit too mischievous. No symptoms at the moment.

I met the fourth, a girl. She walked from the town deep in the woods. I talked with her, and she told me all the townspeople had been wiped out. So surely she did have a resistance to it? I’m a little interested, but it’s unrelated to what I’m doing now. She doesn’t want to talk about it much, either. It’s hard to talk with her. She doesn’t talk with the others, just playing piano in her room. No symptoms at the moment.

It was all written very similarly. Between these pages were also detailed notes about behavior and physical changes in the children. But numerous pages were torn out, so I couldn’t get the full picture.

All the children have the potential to break out, but still no symptoms. But are there even symptoms? How did it go back then? I’m getting a headache. I’ll stop for now.

The letters on that page were squiggly like worms, but I managed to read them. Several pages after that were ripped out too, and the next page was dated nearly a year after the previous entry.

I met a fifth child. He was outside when the incident happened. They say the shock caused memory loss. At a glance, I was surprised. It’s just a hunch, but he must be on the verge. I’ll watch him very carefully.

…Was I the fifth child?

Two seasons have pa.s.sed since then. What have I been doing? I feel like my chest is burning. I see the scene in my mind again. This must mean… Yes. Very soon. It must be over soon. My head hurts. I’m sorry, Fiona.

That was the last page. Half the pages had been crudely torn out. I had guessed it was Teacher’s diary from the writing and content, but the “Fiona” at the end solidified it.

“Count your sins!”

Suddenly, laughter echoed behind me. I quickly turned to find the Ches.h.i.+re Cat.

“Judgement! Guilty! Sentenced to bed! Sweet Dreams for life! Mweeheeheehee!”

As always, he ridiculed me with a grating voice. Once I took notice of him, he spread his jagged smile all the way.

“Thought I’d come talk 'bout that pact business I mentioned before.”

“…No thanks. I don’t want anything to do with you. Now move it.”

“No need to be in such a rus.h.!.+ The flow of time in this World’s agonizingly slow, y'know. And hey, just between you and me, this deal might be beneficial for ya.”

The Ches.h.i.+re Cat tried to stop me from simply pa.s.sing him by. He really didn’t want to let me through. I got more and more irritated. Maybe it would be faster to listen to him than stare him down.

“You got it! I can’t hate you smart brats. I told you before, yeah? Let’s go through the ways to link the World with the world. One of them’s to use that key you’re holding and make a soul into a door. …After you talked with 'im, and knew not everybody could go back, you really were thinking of stabbin’ yourself for the others, weren'tcha?”

I was startled to hear him see through me and say it out loud. …I was the one who opened the door to this World, after all. It was surely all my fault, for having created this dream and making it all end up this way. So the most evil person… was me.

“So what if I told you everyone could go back? …What’d you do?”

“…Huh?”

…Everyone could go back to our world?

“Yep! There’s another way to link the worlds. A pact with a demon. We demons eat souls to live. Even from a dog or a frog - doesn’t matter, a soul’s a soul. But people taste best, and they’re the most filling. …Especially souls broken by despair and agony.”

“So then, me and everyone else…”

“Kids don’t know much stuff. If you know what to take, it’s easy to break 'em. …'Course, I didn’t lay a finger on the black-haired one. Just happened to come across her. Adults are no good, though. They’re too hard 'cause of all that dirty knowledge.”

They were tormenting me just so I would be a better meal for them? And the others, too. …My irritation changed into anger. This guy was a demon, all right.

“That’s why we mainly dine by luring kids into this World. Though… this time, it was him who made this Dream, this World. Thought he would’ve known better since he’d come here before. But I guess he didn’t change one bit! Don'tcha think that’s hilarious?”

I glared at the Ches.h.i.+re Cat wondering how to use this anger, but the statement that “he” made the dream caught my attention.

“…Teacher made this Dream? Not me?”

“Yeah, that’s right. You guys were on the right track, but not agonized enough to open the door just yet. He’s the one who linked to the World this time 'round!”

The Cat put a hand to his mouth and snickered. Watching him dumbfounded, I felt the temperature dropping in my head.

“What? You eat cows and birds’ souls to live longer. Couple of differences, but people and demons aren’t different at all at their roots. Same as you, we gotta eat or we die. Only thing is, there’s a way for us to keep living without having to eat.”

Ches.h.i.+re held a black claw up in front of me.

“And that’s a pact with a demon. In layman’s terms, your soul and mine get mixed. Demons can go to worlds and Worlds alike. So that’s a good reason to wanna have a body, too. I could possess peeps without any pacting, but my time’d be limited and all that jazz.”

…Mix our souls? He was asking me to merge souls with him?

“Exactly right. Since you’re empty, I can completely take over your body… You don’t get a chance this good every day! You’ll get the power to go between Worlds for yourself. Won’t even have to start eating souls or nothin’. Up to you whether you wanna believe me. Think about it, alright? Call whenever you wanna pact! I’ll smell ya!”

Ches.h.i.+re turned and became part of the darkness. His eerie laughter reverberated many times off the walls of the small room. I stood there, processing it. How much could I believe?

More importantly, I needed to see Teacher as soon as possible. I shook my head to clear the mess building up in it. Then I approached the last door at the back of the storeroom and turned the k.n.o.b.

As I opened the door, I smelled the same smell of books as when I was with Fiona. There was a bit of dustiness mixed in, and it was dark inside. I didn’t initially notice among the darkness, but there was a figure in the back of the room.

Before approaching it, I tightly grabbed the key to our world hidden in my pocket in my hands. The key touched a metal part on my suspenders, making a small clinking sound.

“Who’s there?”

The shadow turned around and approached, and I backed away. As I expected, it was Teacher.

“If you’re here, then… No, the cat can’t be trusted. …You really are proficient at breaking promises. It’s quite troubling.”

Finally, he got close enough for me to see his face. His skin was more pale than usual, and his eyes were jet black.

“…The dreaming illness. Did you lock us up there to research that illness?”

Teacher looked concerned by my blunt question. But he soon returned to neutral.

“Yes, that’s right. Nightmare Syndrome… As an avid reader, I’m sure you’ve heard of it at least once. The cause is said to be unknown, but I believe it emerges in children who lose something, plunging their hearts into darkness.”

Teacher crept toward me as he spoke. He seemed significantly different from our usual kind Teacher.

“On the surface, I took in hurt children with nowhere to go, helped them, and let them live with me. …But secretly, I observed and studied them as children who might acquire the sickness. That is what I was hiding from you there.”

“Teacher, do you… not care about us?”

“…Correct,” he answered after a pause. “My goal is to research this illness and destroy this dream. …You were only…”

He fell silent. His gaze dropped to my waist, and his eyes narrowed.

“…Is that a World key in your hands? Would you give that to me?”

Teacher extended a hand to me, smiling coldly. I brought the World key out from behind my back… and thrust it toward myself.

A few drops of red liquid fell off my hand. But the sharp blade wasn’t pierced into my body; it had stopped in midair. Teacher was firmly holding the edge of the key. The drops coming out of his hand ran along the blade toward mine, dripping off it there.

“…You’re a liar too, Teacher,” I said to him as he looked on with worry. I knew my face was turning pale.

“You should’ve been able to come here right away. …My mom and dad are dead. If you’d told me that, maybe it would make a door to the World just like yours. But Teacher… you always said everything was fine. You cared about me, about us. You let us push you around. Isn’t that… isn’t even what you just did completely contrary to what you say your goal is?”

Everything Teacher had done for us was undoubtedly for us. I just wouldn’t believe that was all a lie.

Teacher didn’t speak. I went on slowly, sure that he could hear me.

“What that made me feel… was love.”

Teacher’s eyes widened at the word I spoke. As he seemed to recall something, he scratched his head.

“…No. I mean, I don’t know how to love. It was my lack of love that made me open this door back when I was young. …After I lost someone precious to me here, it became all I could think about. And so, still without love, I linked us to this World once again.” Teacher bit his lip.

“…Fiona told me. You do have love. But if you don’t notice it’s love, it’s no more than a pebble.”

“Fiona…?” Teacher stared at me childishly, his mouth agape. A completely different expression from the boy I met.

I let go of the blade in my hand, and Teacher gradually let go too, until finally, it slipped away and clattered to the ground.

I held Teacher’s bloodstained hand in my hands. Though it was big enough that it wouldn’t quite fit.

“This is… definitely my love for you, Mr. David.”

I smiled. Teacher’s body stiffened, and he blinked repeatedly. His lips quivered, but finally, his usual soft smile came out.

“…How many years has it been since I was called that name? Though it feels so different from how it did then. …Hahah… I’m really not very smart, am I. It was so close all this time.”

Teacher squeezed my hands back. I felt a slight warmth.

“…Your hands are warm.”

He quietly lowered his ruffled head. Not letting go of his hand, I kneeled down to get on level with Teacher. Just then, I saw a clear drop fall from his cheek.

“I’ll give you this.”

Teacher untied the string around his neck. He handed the swaying golden locket to me.

“What you told me you wanted… I couldn’t give to you then.”

I took the locket in my hands. In that brief instant, Teacher quickly reached in another direction.

…The world key!

I reached out as I realized his intent, but it was too late. He grabbed the world key in one hand and forcefully plunged it into his gut. Deep, deep in. His white s.h.i.+rt was stained red, and the same color poured out of his mouth.

“…I’m the one who made this World. So I have to end it. I hid too much of my weakness. Before I knew it, I was drowning in more than I could manage.”

He took his hand off his stomach and leaned on the back wall.

“As you said, I couldn’t take the last step. …Soon enough, my door opened. I intended to come alone. And I asked that cat not to open the doors of anyone but me. But instead, the rest of you were taken in, making a much larger World.”

Teacher slouched over and coughed intensely. He scowled at the liquid scattered on his hand.

“Don’t worry. I am an adult, allegedly. They won’t eat me. …I researched long, but I guess it was all for naught. I just left you with many bad memories. …Don’t be like me, Allen.”

He looked up, and with a small smile, brushed my cheek.

A slight bit of warmth had come back to his hand. His eyes, losing all their light, began to close.

“Don’t cry, now. There, there, there, there, there there… It’s okay. …My friend’s phone number is in that locket too. Call him once you get back, would you? You shouldn’t even have to say a word. And, please… forget about me.”

“Mr. David…”

He smiled again at me saying his name.

“Then no one will have to come here again. …I should have known better. I… just didn’t want to forget.”

Teacher’s eyes shut all the way, and the energy left his body. He fell toward me, and I managed to hold his body.

The darkness around us took the shape of many arms, surrounding Teacher. I tried pulling away the shadowy appendages, but my hands pa.s.sed through like it was air; I couldn’t stop him from going into the darkness.

Soon, even his hand on my cheek was sucked inside.

“Good night, Allen. …I’m sorry.”

Teacher gave me one last smile full of warmth.

2

…Deep in my ears, there were many metallic sounds overlapping each other. My body felt weightless, like I was thrown into zero-gravity. My eyelids were heavy, and felt sewn shut; I couldn’t open them. The same sensation as when my soul

<script>