Vol Chapter 6 (1/2)

Chapter 6: Recipient of x.x.xX

Through the door was, again, a place I knew. The same place where that cat lured me to open that first door - my room in the facility. For some reason, all the furniture that should have been there was gone, with only the closet placed in the middle of the room. …It might as well have said “Open me.”

After some indecision, I put my hand on the closet, just like that night.

…And then, I woke up.

I was in my room as it usually was, with not just a closet, but a desk, chair, and bed too. The closet door I thought I’d just opened was firmly shut. …Was it just a dream?

I crawled out of bed and looked all around. A light blue notebook sat lonesomely on my desk. I walked over there, picked it up, and turned the pages.

G.o.d made the world in six days. People forgot x.x.xX, and the world was scattered. Then G.o.d made the World in two hundred million days.

“…?”

I had never written anything in this notebook since receiving it. …Was this someone’s idea of a prank? It left me with doubts, but not finding anything else that gave me pause, I decided to leave the room.

Outside, too, it looked just like the facility we lived in. The halls that had only an absolute minimum of furniture, making them feel extremely s.p.a.cious. Perhaps all of that had been a dream…?

“Oh? Hey, Allen. Whatcha up to there?”

I turned to the sudden voice nearby and saw Joshua and Letty standing there, smiling.

“Hey, Allen! It’s cold, huh?” Letty rubbed her arms. “Do you think it’ll snow this year? Last year, we all had a s...o...b..ll fight! It’d be great to have you join us for another!”

“Man, that brings me back! But I don’t like my hands gettin’ all numb from the cold, so I’d rather play inside.” Joshua kept sticking his hands in his sleeves, doing various movements to keep warm.

“…Do you know where Teacher is?”, I suddenly asked as the two reminisced. They looked at each other and blinked.

“…Haven’t seen him yet today. Probably went out somewhere, or fell asleep somewhere weird.”

“Yeah, I haven’t seen him either. Look around the facility, and you’ll probably find him!”

“…Alright. Thanks, you two. Bye.” I waved, and they returned to their rooms.

Teacher was probably in his room. Considering the Worlds I’d been to before, this must have been Teacher’s World. Or if not… then it was mine.

But it struck me that unlike the previous Worlds, everyone in the facility was living normally. So was that a dream, and this reality…? Either way, I went down the hall to look for Teacher.

“Ah… Allen.”

Outside Teacher’s room, I encountered Chelsy and Stella, the latter wearing a dignified expression.

“h.e.l.lo. Um… The weather’s nice, huh? It’s really cold, though.” Chelsy breathed into her hands and rubbed them. Occasionally, white breaths reflected off her palms. “…Are you cold? Do you want to borrow a jacket?”

“…Wouldn’t your jacket be awfully small for Allen?”, Stella pointed out, and Chelsy yelped “Ah!” Watching her get fl.u.s.tered, Stella sighed.

“Hey, do you know where Teacher is?”, I asked after the conversation ended. Chelsy’s eyes widened and she shook her head slightly.

“Um… I wonder if he’s in his room here? …Do you know, Stella?”

Stella shook her head repeatedly as Chelsy looked to her. Neither seemed to know his whereabouts.

“…Alright, thanks. Bye.”

Chelsy and Stella said goodbye and pa.s.sed me by. I knocked on Teacher’s door a few times, then opened it.

A figure was sitting in a chair in the corner, holding a cup of coffee. But it wasn’t Teacher. It was Mr. Cliff, the one who Teacher called his friend, and occasionally visited the facility.

“Hey, if it isn’t Allen.” Mr. Cliff smiled at me kindly. His voice was lively. “What’s the matter? He’s not here, if that’s why you’re here.”

“…The papers are… neat.”

Seeing those papers usually messily pushed to the corner of the desk being actually neatly arranged was such a rare sight, those words tumbled out of my mouth. Mr. Cliff was surprised, then laughed heartily.

“Yeah, he doesn’t clean up much, does he? He can clean the hallways, clean up meals, but when it comes to himself, you know what happens. Same as when he was in college.”

Mr. Cliff put his coffee on the desk, took a breath, and stretched.

“Always been that way. Well, though I only knew him since college. He’s so attentive to other people, but he’s so slovenly about himself.” He seemed really happy to talk about Teacher’s past, which I knew nothing about.

“…You and Teacher get along really well, huh?”

“Ohh! You think so? Glad to hear it. I mean, we did fight just one time… He’s a strange guy, but a good one.”

“You fought?” I was extremely surprised by this past between them. It wasn’t like I’d never seen Teacher angry, but I had a hard time picturing Teacher fighting with another person.

“Well, he’d been writing this book for a long time. I thought it was wonderful when he showed it to me. At the time, there was a newspaper publisher looking for stories, so I submitted it without telling him. It got an award, so I hurried to tell him about it, and he got really mad about me going and submitting it. …I messed up, I know.”

Looking a little pained, Mr. Cliff picked up his cup again and took a sip. The bitter smell wafted over to me.

“It actually got published, too. He told me that was fine, just not to use his name, so it’s under a random pen name I thought up. Have you heard of it? It’s called Nightmare, has a white cover. It’s sold a lotta copies.”

I did know that book. Sales had gradually risen since its publication, and even though it had been years now, that wasn’t stopping - it had even returned to the limelight. I recalled it was a book about a dreaming illness.

“…Dreaming illness…?”

“Yeah, there’s an illness in the book similar to the Nightmare Syndrome that’s come up lately. That’s brought attention back to it again. …Doubt he cares about that part, of course.”

Nightmare Syndrome. Yes, I think even the newspaper my father was reading that day had an article on it.

“What kind of illness is it?”

“Hm? Oh yeah, you don’t have a TV or newspapers here. Well, alright… One day, you just don’t wake up, and instead fall into a deep sleep. There have been past cases, apparently, but there’s been more people catching it than ever lately.”

“…And not just in old people or anything?”

“No, it’s not from old age at all. In fact, it’s always been occurring in children. Doctors, researchers, psychologists are doing all they can to figure it out, but they haven’t even found the first lead to an answer. …Not being able to leave a dream sounds pretty happy to me, though.”

Mr. Cliff looked into the distance. After staring into his empty coffee cup, he placed it down on the table.

“After we got past our fight over the book, he surprised me with a request to help him with the procedure of buying this building, since it was up for sale. Said he had plenty of money to live on from selling his research findings to companies, and he got royalties from the book too. Supposedly this used to be another kind of inst.i.tution, but they moved after strange rumors spread around town, so I wondered how that was gonna pan out. Point is, I was really surprised he’d want to live here.”

At that point, Mr. Cliff seemed to remember something, and smiled wryly.

“…He’s always trying to make do all by himself. …I mean, sure, there’s plenty he’s accomplished alone. He’s an amazing guy. But sometimes I just wish he’d ask for help more.”

“You should just say that to Teacher, then…”

Mr. Cliff smiled with a bit of a lonesome look.

“When you grow up, it gets harder to say how you feel. Especially for his type. So all I can do is try to support him in the shadows. …Well, you’re the ones who spend more time with him now. Won’t you help him for me, Allen?”

He made a request of me while flipping through the orderly papers on the desk. After a pause, I replied clearly.

“I’ll help. I’ll help everyone, including Teacher.”

Mr. Cliff looked me in the eyes and suddenly smiled.

“Please. …He told me he was going to the library,” he said, pointing to the ceiling. I thanked him, and left Teacher’s room.

I went up to the second floor and opened the library door. Teacher was asleep on the sofa. His jacket covered him like a makes.h.i.+ft blanket. I quietly approached. I could hear him breathing, so he wasn’t dead. Given the sickly pale color of the skin around his eyes and his skinny body, I was uneasy when I saw him with closed eyes. After watching him for a while, he seemed to notice me and slowly opened his eyes.

He looked at me, and spoke slowly, in a darker tone than usual. “…Hm? Ahh… Alice. If you want to play, let’s do it tomorrow. I’m sure you’re tired too, aren’t you? …Good night.” Then he closed his eyes and began peacefully breathing again.

“…?”

Looking around, I soon noticed something amiss. There was a closet in the back where there was normally a bookcase. So this was still only the entrance to a World? I softly touched the door. …This would be the last one.

“I’ll save them… for sure.”

I checked my pocket to be sure the key was still there. I still didn’t know what I’d do. But I’d decided what I’d do in worst case. I took another deep breath.

And I opened the door to the final World.

There was a somewhat nostalgic, comfortable smell. The warmth on my skin made me sleepy. But this was not the time to oversleep. I got up and stretched. The unfamiliar room, unlike the one I’d just been in at the facility, was dyed in sepia tones. A large number of beds were laid in rows.

I checked the door, and it wasn’t locked. Relieved, I opened it. The smooth hallway had stone walls that made my rhythmical footsteps echo. The architecture gave me the impression of being an old, past building, not something from the present.

There were a number of doors along the walls of the hallway, and at the end of it was another door of a different shape. Would there be another hallway through here? I approached it and turned the k.n.o.b, but this one was locked. …Now what?

“…Huh? Hey, sister, there’s a boy!”

“It’s not like boys are a rare… Oh, I haven’t seen a blond-haired boy here before.”

“Wow, he’s tiny! Look, he’s a head smaller than me!”

“He looks sleepy. There’s plenty of beds, you know. Maybe you should sleep in one?”

While I was stopped by the door, four figures came out of a different room from the one I was in. Figures, as in… they were literally only silhouettes. I could even faintly see through them. From their outlines, I could barely determine characteristics like pigtails and long hair.

“Um… Can this door not open?”

“Hm? Oh yes, it can. Who has the key, the second-oldest sister?”

“That’s not right. She did before, but now it’s the first-oldest.”

The shadows swayed and muttered amongst themselves. I could identify their voices as female, but not being able to determine their expressions made me uneasy.

“We certainly could just give it to you now, but… I’m a little bored. Will you hear my request? If you do, I’ll unlock the door to the next hall,” a shadow with an outline of long hair told me, her hair swaying. I replied “I’ll do what I can,” and she pondered, giggling.

“Let’s see… How about a ribbon? Yes, bring me a red ribbon, could you? I always leave it on the table, but I seem to have lost it.”

“A red ribbon? I have one of those.”

The shadow with pigtails rustled around near her waist and pulled out a long ribbon. But it blended together with the shadow, as I couldn’t make out any color on it either.

“Ahh! So you took it again, did you? Sheesh. Give that back!”

“Fine, but not just for free. Let’s see… Say, you there. I’m freezing right now. Could you get me something to warm myself up?”

Something warm… Of course, I wasn’t even wearing a jacket myself, and I had nothing else to give. …Now what?

“Well then, use my legwarmers. …But it would be boring to just give these to you, too. How about you decide what I make him do?”

“Huh?! Why do you always push it on me ‘cause I’m the youngest sister?! This is why I don’t like you guys! Um… Ummm… Okay, uh, make an animal sound! How about a frog?”

The small shadow with pigtails and a cap complained, then made a request of me. I’d never tried imitating an animal before, and to have to do it in front of people…

“…Rrribbit.”

I did the best frog I could on such short notice. The shadows’ swaying came to a halt; they seemed to be staring right at me. …This was pretty embarra.s.sing.

“…My, well, I’ll go with it too. Do a cow next.”

“Me too! I’d like a cat!”

“Dog, then. Dog for me.”

Once one had broken the ice, the other sisters made additional demands. But I couldn’t just stand around here. Putting my shame aside, I responded to all of their requests.

“Ahh, that was fun. You don’t seem very good at that. But you did your best, which is what counts. Now give him the key.”

My throat kind of hurt after doing all those voices. The shadow sisters exchanged the respective things they needed, and finally, one of them opened the door with a click.

“Now you can go through. …Come to think of it, where did that boy go? Isn’t he always reading in a bedroom during the day?”

“Who knows? He’s an elusive one. …And well, you know what happened just the other day. He has a lot to think about, I’m sure.”

Intrigued by the shadowy sisters’ conversation, I stopped myself from going through the door.

“…What kind of boy are you talking about?”

The girls whispered to each other for a few seconds. Eventually, the pigtailed shadow began to speak.

“He’s a boy with black hair and black eyes. He had a twin sister, but just recently, she fell asleep and wouldn’t wake up. He cried a lot when that happened. He’s always been a crybaby, but it felt like he cried a year’s worth. His sister got taken to the hospital, and she’s still sleeping there… But he’s been acting kinda odd since then.”

“Yes, that’s also about the time he started writing that… story, I believe? He’s always just writing, writing away at his desk. …I suppose he has to escape into such things to face it, at his age.”

The sisters got steadily quieter as they continued to whisper. Eventually, I couldn’t hear them at all anymore, so deciding I couldn’t get any more from them, I turned back to the door.

It was pretty cold in the other hallway. Rubbing my arms, I looked out the window next to me. The sky was cloudy, ready to rain at any moment. The trees below had lost all their leaves. It felt the same way as the end of summer. Before I came to the Worlds - that night I first opened my closet in the facility, it was autumn. So the flow of time in this World might have actually matched reality.

I turned away from the window to look down the hallway. Not too far ahead, I saw a figure. I approached, and thankfully, I could make out a clear shape and colors. I only saw his back, but he had black hair, wore a checkered knit vest, and didn’t seem very tall. Once I got close enough, he noticed me and turned.

“…What? Are you lost?”

The boy was about my age, and his characteristics seemed to match the boy the sisters had mentioned. He smiled at me, and his smile seemed a little mature, considering.

“No, I’m just looking for something.”

“I see. Well, so am I. …I’ve searched all over, but I can’t find it. Strange, when I’ve looked so hard for it…”

With a gloomy expression, the boy blinked. He had black eyes which seemed to stare into the distance. …I felt like this wasn’t out first meeting, and I wondered why.

“…Say, do you mind if I come with you?”

“Huh?”

“If I search with someone else, maybe I’ll find something different. …So, please,” he asked kindly, with a smile.

“Sure. Um… what’s your name?”

“Ah…” He made a sour face and fell into thought. Eventually, he looked back at me and blinked.

“…Call me what you like. I hate my name. I won’t give my name, so you don’t have to give yours. …Anyway, let’s go.”

He lightly pushed me on the back to hurry me forward, and it felt cold. I started walking as if to get away from it.

Once I began to walk, the boy got beside me and walked at my pace. On his waist was a keychain with several keys on it, and I noticed something hanging from a string around his neck. But whatever was at the end of it was inside his white s.h.i.+rt, so I couldn’t identify it.

“…Curious about the keys? Well, I’m sure they’re not the keys you’re looking for. …These are all the keys to my doors.”

I looked up at him. “My doors,” he said. Did he, unlike the other children, know about this World?

“…Is this your World?”

“That’s right. …This my second time coming to this dream. It’s a little different from before. But… none of the important parts are any different,” the boy said coldly.

…This was this boy’s World. But the White Rabbit said that I was the sixth to come here. I’d thought that the five who came before me were Letty, Chelsy, Joshua, Stella, and Teacher. And I’d never met this boy before.

After walking a while, the boy pointed to a door and said “Let’s go in here.” I nodded, and he used one of the keys on the keychain to open the door. Inside, there were many bookcases packed with books. I looked toward the boy, but he seemed to be waiting for me to move.

…What a strange boy.

I took a random book and flipped through it. The cover read “About People.”

“Are you interested in that kind of thing?”, the boy asked in a slightly artificial voice. Not having a good answer for him, I just twisted my neck.

“It’s impossible for anyone to know a person, unless you are them. …The cat told me that.”

“…The cat?”

“Yes. But when someone besides you first looks at you, a new ”self” is born, isn’t it? That’s what I think.“

Did he mean the Ches.h.i.+re Cat? That did sound like something he’d say. But like the Ches.h.i.+re Cat, the boy’s musings were too complex for me.

”…It’s tricky. I can’t fully understand it. But I’m not bothered by not knowing. People have a bad habit of trying to know things they shouldn’t.“

While the boy ruminated, he pulled out another book from the shelf and turned through it. I put back the book I had and took out another one.

It seemed to be a novel. I’d never read it, or even seen it before. Glancing at the colophon, I noticed the publication date was about twenty years ago. Getting curious, I went and checked the other books. All the books were fairly old; the newest one was published eighteen years ago.

”…What year is it?“

The concept of time in the Worlds was an enigma, but I timidly asked the boy anyway.

”Who knows. There’s a calendar over there.”

The boy pointed to an old calendar on the wall. It showed the date in October, eighteen years ago.

“…How old are you?”

“Hm? …Ah, I don’t know. My teacher might know, having been the one who found us and all.”

“Teacher?”

“Yes, Miss Revis. A woman who works at this orphanage. We were abandoned near this place right after being born. Then she found us. …Child neglect, we heard her say.”

The boy flipped back through the dates on the calendar as if traveling back through his memories.

“…Maybe we should look for her. She might know something. I have other questions for her, too.”

He nodded to himself and showed me the way. The two of us left the room. He stopped in front of the very next door and used a different key to open it. Inside was a person who was only a shadow, similar to the sisters.

“…Huh? Mr. Director, do you know where Miss Revis is?”

“Ah, good day. She left just a moment ago. Perhaps she went home for the night as usual?”

“…I see. Thank you very much… I guess she isn’t here. Hm, this is a little different from before.”

The fact that the boy didn’t expect this showed on his face, and he put a finger to his mouth and thought. Eventually he came to a conclusion, looked up, and sighed.

“For now, we’ll just have to walk around. Let’s go somewhere else.”

The boy tapped my back, and went to walk down the halls again. Not wanting to be left behind, I went after him.

He used yet another key from his waist to open the room next to the shadowy person he called the “director.” Was it okay for him to be opening these doors himself? I started to worry.

“It’s fine. …I’m doing this because I want to.”

With that, he opened the door and went inside. I stopped in surprise that he had answered my question without me asking it. Those who I could remember having such a skill were both very untrustworthy sorts.

We looked around the room, which was again packed with various books. The boy repeatedly took out a book, flipped through it, put it back, got another… again and again, then suddenly clapped a book shut, gave up on it, and approached me. It seemed he hadn’t found anything of note.

“…Huh? A key?”

I noticed something gleaming in the corner of my vision. A small key laid on the desk in the corner. As I reached for it, the boy grabbed my hand.

“Be careful. That lamp there is broken, and it’s hard to see them, but there are shards scattered around it.”

I only noticed once the boy warned me of them. Little sand-like grains reflected the light. The boy got a handkerchief out of his pants pocket, picked the key up with it, and after shaking it several times, put it back in his pocket.

“…Sorry. My hand is cold, isn’t it? I’m sure it’s because I don’t know warmth.”

He bit his lip sadly. Why was he taking responsibility for everything upon himself?

“…Its okay, it’s not that cold. …If I hold it, it’ll get warmer.”

I took the boy’s hand, and he looked surprised and concerned. He blinked many times, then his eyes narrowed slightly.

“…You’re so kind. Now… I realize. Only now. …Much too late.”

With his open hand,, the boy rubbed his eyes.

“Your hands are warm.”

Afterward, we decided to go back to where I first met the boy and rest by the windows.

“It rains a lot around here. Everyone says they hate it, but I prefer rain.”

“Why?”

“Since it hides my tears. When I was little, I cried in the corner among the sound of raindrops.”

“…You cry a lot?”

“…I wanted x.x.xX. So I x.x.xXed. …Because the cat told me to x.x.xX bad people. So I x.x.xXed them, a lot. But… it was no use. There were only good people around me. No… That’s not it. It was surely no use because I didn’t know how to x.x.xX. …I wonder if she’d be mad at me, too.”

Some of his words were obscured with static, so I couldn’t hear them. He had a serious look, and his shoulders shook. Was x.x.xX that important?

“Who do you mean?”

“My big sister. When I cried, she’d always say a charm for me. But… she wouldn’t wake up. Soon, she never woke up again. …It’s my fault. It’s… my fault…”

The boy buried his face in his knees and stopped talking. I silently stroked his back. …Come to think of it, that was what Teacher did for us when he was worried about us.

“…I wonder where Teacher is.”

The boy shook with surprise. Then he wiped his eyes with his arm repeatedly, stood up, and silently held his hand to me.

“Let’s go. …We’re almost there.”

With that seemingly meaningful remark, the boy showed a mature-looking smile. I took his hand and got up, and he went to the solitary door along the wall. Unlocking it with the key he wrapped in the handkerchief, he opened it and invited me in.

Upon entering, a strong smell of medicine struck my nose. Silhouettes of various sizes were hastily running around and talking.

“…I see. So there’s this, too,” the boy nodded with understanding as he looked around.

“Let’s head for the back without b.u.mping into them. The desk I use is back there.”

He pulled my hand. We nearly did crash into the shadows several times, but we somehow made it to the desk in the back corner. Lots of papers were strewn across the desk; it was impossible to tell what anything was.

“…It might be too complicated for you. It’s mine, all of it. It’s in the past now, but I did all kinds of research. I was praised and got awards, even. …But I’ve given it up now.”

“…You got bored?”

“No… I’m just doing something different. There’s the fact I don’t like crowded places… But maybe it was because my friend said that white coats don’t suit me.” The boy smiled as he flipped through and turned over the scattered papers.

“What are you doing now?”

“It’s a secret. I decided not to tell people what I really want to do,” he answered with a grieving look.

That was when the suspicions I had about this boy became clear. Why I felt like I’d met him before at our first meeting. Not to mention his behavior, tone, and the things he said. …And his oddly mature smile.

“…Teacher?”

I asked the boy, and he looked at me and faintly smiled. His marble-like black eyes reflected my face like mirrors.

“…This way.”

He took me by the hand again, leading me to a door in the back of the room. The door didn’t seem to be locked, opening easily.

It was dark and hard to see ahead. This way, the boy repeated, pulling me along. I watched my feet so I didn’t trip, and we proceeded ahead.

“…”

The boy suddenly stopped. I looked back up toward him. A small door floated in the dark.

“This is where we part. Up ahead is my World. My… present self’s World.”

The boy took something out, and immediately after, the door clicked open.

“It’s open. …Why did it come to this? You’re smart, so perhaps you know.”