Chapter 27 (1/2)
Chapter 27
When the introductory pamphlets for American universities started pouring in, He Luo was still on the fence even as the people around her started writing their applications. She was indifferent even in the university meeting explaining the procedure to apply for a postgraduate placement.
She had no worries about the uncertain future, neither was she working hard to make sure the future was within her grasp. She was happily and lazily standing in front of the oncoming postgraduate wave. When the meeting was over, there were students who stayed to further consult the lecturer. Shen Lie sat in his seat far away from He Luo, watching her.
He Luo didn’t notice him. Standing at the crossroads of the future, she was upset and wanted to hear Zhang Yuan’s voice. Lowering her head, she sent a text to him: “Are you at home or at the campus? I want to call you right now, right now.” Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
“I’m in a meeting. Maybe at night.”
At night? It was already 8.30 pm. He Luo bitterly put away her phone and told the girl beside her, “I’m going back first.”
Halfway on her way back, her phone rang.
“What’s up? Did something urgent happen?” Zhang Yuan’s tone was hasty. “I ran out in the middle of the meeting to call you. Briefly tell me what you want to say.”
He Luo made an “oh” noise. “It’s nothing.” Can’t I call you if there’s nothing urgent? Half of her heart felt empty, the other half was filled with the regret of giving up.
“I thought something big happened since you said ‘right here, right now’.” Zhang Yuan let out a sigh of relief. “Let’s talk later. I have to hurry up and return.” Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
In the days after, He Luo often only returned to her dorm after the library closed. She had bought a comfortable pillow for her to lean onto. Opening her laptop, she prepared her doc.u.mentations, PS, resume, recommendation letter, introduction to her major… The days she spent applying for study abroad were hectic and mechanical and she felt entirely numb all over. It was only when she was preparing her doc.u.mentations that she realised she had vaguely forgotten most of the terminologies in her majors and was having trouble writing a proper report. Thus she scrambled to cram in those terminologies at the last minute and spent all her time in the library for a week. She hardly ate or drank and made do with some bread and water.
What little happiness she had in this period of extreme hecticness was when she drank coffee at night and watched a couple episodes of Detective Conan or the Cantonese version of A Step into the Past. Jessica Hsuen’s face was rigid as she scolded (Louis Koo’s character) Hong Siu Long, “You scoundrel!” Louis Koo’s side profile as he smiled as a little similar to Zhang Yuan’s. Perhaps if Zhang Yuan was a little tanner, a little older, he would be even more alike, He Luo thought wanly. She suddenly remembered the proposal that caused Zhang Yuan to be so busy, researched for some relevant English-language information online, and translated them. By the time she was done, her eyelids were already closing.
Ye Zhi and Zhou Xing Yan had already finished applying to their faculty’s postgraduate programs and got together to watch Meteor Garden together. One was a fan of Jerry Yan, the other Vic Chou. Every day there was a new argument but the issue was always over the same issue: who was more handsome.
“Jerry Yan has triangular eyes!” Zhou Xing Yan cri
ed.
“Vic Chou is a sissy!” Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
“He’s not sissy, he’s elegant! He’s unlike some mean Tyrannosaurus.”
“Who’s mean? That’s because the plot needs him to be!”
They both wanted to make He Luo uphold justice for them but when they turned around, they saw she was already fast asleep, her body bent against the pillow.
It was only through the mouths of numerous different people, that Zhang Yuan found out that He Luo was currently preparing to apply to study abroad. When he heard, his eyebrows was knitted together and his lips pressed into a thin line.
“My deskmate never told you?” Zhao Cheng Jie asked, surprised.
“Yes. Her English is good so it won’t be too much trouble for her to prepare for the application,” Zhang Yuan said lightly. “He Luo always wanted to travel around. If not for studying abroad, she won’t have many opportunities to go to America.”
“Yes. That’s why you couldn’t go. Aren’t you going to think of a solution?”
“What solution? There are many ways to go to America.” Zhang Yuan laughed, briefly. “There are so many of female cla.s.smates that are going abroad. Just get someone to F2 you.” [F2 refers to the visa the spouses of international students can apply for]
“Tsk.” Zhao Cheng Jie pursed his lips. “I’m the closest to my deskmate. If I get her to F2 me, what will happen? Hng, won’t you just slaughter me?”
“Why did you suddenly decide to study abroad?” Zhang Yuan asked He Luo over the phone. It was such an important matter yet he had never heard anything from her.
The line was so quiet that there was not even the sound of breathing. Only after a moment that he heard He Luo’s breathy, a little erratic voice. “I’ve thought about it for a long time. How is it sudden?”
“Oh… how’s your progress? I heard you have a recommendation letter from someone impressive and that your application is basically secured.”
“Nothing is for certain.” He Luo sighed. “Besides, it’s no big deal. It’s just good luck.”
“Today’s luck is in large part the result of yesterday’s hard work. It’s also the limit of your personal ability. Don’t be too modest.” Zhang Yuan chuckled and tried to make it sound like he was teasing. Yet when the words left his mouth, his tone became solemn.
He Luo laughed briefly. Her tone became regretful. “Is it your turn to comfort me? Honestly, it’s fine even if I’m not accepted.”
“Ah?” Zhang Yuan was stunned. “En, you can still continue your studies here.”
“Yes. But I’ll have to take the test here. I’ll definitely fail since I didn’t make any preparations. If I’m not accepted overseas, my plan is to find an easy-going job and do several interns.h.i.+ps. For instance, what Man Xin is doing. She’ll be going to World Bank in Was.h.i.+ngton in awhile. She’ll be paid 2,000 USD a month. That’s even happier than having an actual job.”
“If you’ve already graduated, you can’t go for interns.h.i.+ps,” Zhang Yuan reminded.
“Oh right.” He Luo was thoughtful for a moment. “Then I’ll start a small shop. That day we were just talking about how it’d be nice to open a shop nearby our campus, selling souvenirs and snacks from all over the world. Isn’t that quite good?” She was afraid he’d have no response to her words so she forced an explanation of how she would buy the products, how to promote them, and how to develop new business ideas. Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
“Truly a girl’s whimsical daydream.” Zhang Yuan laughed. “If you’re planning to do something related to food, the procedure for setting-up shop will be exceptionally troublesome. You have to deal with many departments, like commercial and health. You even need a certification and proper storage and processing s.p.a.ce. Can you handle all of these?”
“I was only talking about it.” He Luo was unhappy. “If I really want to do it, I’ll definitely consider it carefully.”
“Do you only consider the feasibility of your ideas once you’ve decided on them? Your way of thinking is too dangerous.” Zhang Yuan became serious. “You ought to consider the details only after you think that an idea is feasible.”
“Bro, we’re only talking about it. Do you need to be so serious?” He Luo got annoyed.
“I’m considering the fact that you’re already planning the details. If I don’t stop you, who knows if one day you get overexcited and decide to cut the opening ribbon?”
He Luo was unable to say anything in her terrible mood. Why was the world completely turned upside down? She had always thought that Zhang Yuan was the child who liked to dream, sketching a fanciful and unrealistic future. As smart as he was, it was inevitable that he would be arrogant and prideful. To protect his ego, she had to carefully watch her every word like stepping on thin ice. She wanted him to keep his foot firmly planted on the ground even as he was dreaming of a bigger future.
And yet he was so harsh and unrelenting now, simultaneously smas.h.i.+ng the dreams of several girls in one go without restrain or care?
I once criticised your dream but now, whatever you want to, I support you unconditionally. He Luo’s voice became cold. “Forget it. Let’s not talk about this. It’s just something we all talked about when we’re doing our applications. No one took it seriously.”
“He Luo…” Zhang Yuan’s voice was thick. There has never been anyone who has said her name as beautifully as he did. “Have you ever seriously thought about what you want to do in the future?”
Tian Xin laughed loudly. “Of course, it’s to be a good wife and a wise mother! My life goal has long become that. To marry you, give birth to a bunch of children. If you think that’s too many, we have to at least give birth to a football team.” She continued, “You should’ve said this to him!”
Helplessly, He Luo said, “Your smelly mouth only knows how to sprout nonsense.”
“You still dare to deny.” Tian Xin looked at her from top to bottom. “Just look at you. You look so dazed and confused. Then what did you tell him?” Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
“I said no, that I’ll think about it when I get there. If I can apply for study abroad, I’ll do that. If I’m not accepted, there’s another place called Garrison Inst.i.tute(?).” He Luo still grinned as she said this.
“What time is it now, you two are still running in circles!”
He Luo smiled sadly. There was something in her that seemed to snap into focus. “Isn’t my att.i.tude obvious enough? I’ve already told him it’s fine even if I’m not accepted. I don’t mind trying to fend for myself here, no matter what happens. Do you really want me to tell him point blank that no matter if he became successful or not, I will be with him through thick and thin. Tell him if he jumped, I would follow him? But what about him? He totally doesn’t show me any support and would even turn around to accuse me as being thoughtless. I really don’t understand what I mean to him.”
“Of course you’re his most important person,” Tian Xin anxiously said. “Do you suspect him of having a change of heart? It’s impossible! I don’t believe it!”
“I don’t mean it that way,” He Luo said. “I don’t know what kind of place love has in his heart. I want him to have a proper stance on this and let me know that he’s doing all this to secure a future for the both of us. We are no longer lovers and he has said nothing about it. It’s tiring for me to be the only one trying.” Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
“Then I’ll go talk to him now!” Tian Xin got up to grab her phone.
He Luo bitterly shook her head as she stopped her. “If he has me in his heart, he’ll naturally tell me all this himself. If he doesn’t have me, even if I beg him to say it, what use will it be? The next time a problem comes up between us, he’ll still turn around and leave. At that moment I’ll definitely go crazy.”
“I can’t take it anymore!” Tian Xin cried. “Never again tell me anything about you two! I’m already so fed up yet there’s still no solution between you two!”
“I won’t say anything more,” He Luo said. “I’ll immediately mail all these doc.u.ments to the university. It’s up to the heavens now, I can only hope for a good result.”
At the end of the November, Zhang Yuan came to his company’s headquarters to present his proposal. The first snow in Beijing coincided with his trip and it was unusually heavy, resulting in a serious traffic jam as drivers carefully navigated the slippery roads. From the station to He Luo’s campus, it actually took four hours.
Standing under the streetlight in front of the dorm building, large snowflakes scattered in the night sky. From the window in her room, He Luo saw how the night had painted a lonely, snow-covered world where Zhang Yuan alone sat in the centre. The girls were having hotpot, covering the entire room in a light layer of mist and making his figure seem dim. In that moment, he was looking up, whistling.
He Luo took the folder from her desk and ran out.
“We’ll take advantage of her absence and eat our fill.” The three girls looked each other, shrugged, and continued to battle with the mutton and vegetables in the pot. They ate until their bellies were full. Translation by cnovelproject.blogspot.com
Zhang Yuan leisurely smiled when he saw her. He was wearing a dark blue Northface parka and a loosely worn gray scarf. It was as if the past six or seven years were condensed in this moment, weighing heavily in He Luo’s heart.
“This is the material I collected for you earlier. Some information on the overseas startups.” She handed them over. “Cai Man Xin helped me a fair bit. I’ve included her suggestions at the back of the doc.u.ment. Maybe they’ll be useful for when you’re doing your presentation.”
“So many!” Zhang Yuan frowned when he read it.
He Luo laughed. “I didn’t even complain, yet you dare?”
“I’m saying it for your sake.” Zhang Yuan placed the folder carefully. “Typing is very tiring. Whenever I do it, my back would ache so I can particularly relate to this. Here, look.” He reached for his side but he was wearing too many layers and couldn’t bend his arm. His actions were a little clumsy, making He Luo’s heart soft all over again. He grinned. “Right! Do you want me to ma.s.sage you?”
“It’s fine. I have a pillow.” He Luo gestured. “So it’s not that tiring for me.”
“It’s all thanks to you that I realise there’s still so much information I’m lacking,” he said. “This is an advantage for me. I can think infinitely without limitations but at the same time my solutions appear naive and shallow. In the future when we expand the company, whether we’ll be acquired or stand proudly as business partners, in large aspect it’ll depend on whether we can attract the decision makers.”
His serious tone made He Luo felt like a stranger. In front of him, he watched his confident gaze, she couldn’t find an appropriate topic to talk to him about.
“If you can understand that your path is difficult and complicated, that’s already good enough.” He Luo breathed deeply, exhaling a puff of white smoke. “It’s just like hiking. We keep our eye on the top of the mountain to maintain our sense of direction, but we also have to watch out for the uneven roads.”