Part 9 (1/2)
Who, aye withholds the claps and cheers That others give? Who jeers and sneers At all he sees and all he hears?
The Deadhead.
Who loudly, as the drama's plot Unfolds, declares the tale a lot Of balderdash and tommy-rot?
The Deadhead.
Who dubs the actors boorish hinds?
Who fault with all the scenery finds?
Who with disgust his molars grinds?
The Deadhead.
Who spreads dissatisfaction wide 'Mongst those who else with all they spied Had been extremely satisfied?
The Deadhead.
Who runs us down for many a day, And keeps no end of folks away That else would for admittance pay?
The Deadhead.
Who keeps his reputation still, For recompensing good with ill With more than pandemonium's skill?
The Deadhead.
Who makes the bankrupt's doleful doom In all its blackness o'er me loom?
Who'll bring my grey head to the tomb?
The Deadhead.
[Ill.u.s.tration: IBSEN IN BRIXTON.--_Mrs. Harris._ ”Yes, William, I've thought a deal about it, and I find I'm nothing but your doll and d.i.c.key-bird, and so I'm going!”]
[Ill.u.s.tration: A five bar rest]
[Ill.u.s.tration: _Seedy Provincial Actor._ ”Young man, I hear that you propose to essay the _role_ of the melancholy Dane. What induced you to do it?” _Prosperous London ditto._ ”Oh, I don't know. They egged me on to it.” _Seedy Provincial Actor._ ”H'm. They egged _me OFF_!”]
LESSONS LEARNED AT A PANTOMIME
(_By an Intelligent Schoolboy_)
That demons are much given to making bad puns, and have on their visiting lists the most beautiful of the fairies.
That the attendants upon the demons (presumably their victims) spend much of their time in break-downs.