Part 16 (1/2)
Thus our freshman gained experience daily; so that by <vg119.jpg> the end of the term, he found that short as the time had been, it had been long enough for him to learn what Oxford life was like, and that there was in it a great deal to be copied, as well as some things to be shunned. The freshness he had so freely shown on entering Oxford had gradually yielded as the term went on; and, when he had run halloing the Brazenface boat all the way up from Iffley, and had seen Mr. Blades realize his most sanguine dreams as to ”the head of the river;” and when, from the gallery of the theatre, he had taken part in the licensed saturnalia of the Commemoration, and had cheered for the ladies in pink and blue, and even given ”one more” for the very proctor who had so lately interfered with his liberties; and when he had gone to a farewell pa.s.s-party (which Charles Larkyns did ~not~ give), and had a.s.sisted in the other festivities that usually mark the end of the academical year, - Mr. Verdant Green found himself to be possessed of a considerable acquisition of knowledge of a most miscellaneous character; and on the authority, and in the figurative eastern language of Mr. Bouncer, ”he was sharpened up no end, by being well rubbed against university bricks. So, good by, old feller!” said the little gentleman, with a kind remembrance of imaginary
--- * Impositions are often performed by deputy.
[120 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
individuals, ”and give my love to Sairey and the little uns.” And Mr.
Bouncer ”went the complete unicorn,” for the last time in that term, by extemporising a farewell solo to Verdant, which was of such an agonizing character of execution, that Huz, and Buz his brother, lifted up their noses and howled. <vg120-1.jpg>
”Which they're the very moral of Christyuns, sir!” observed Mrs.
Tester, who was dabbing her curtseys in thankfulness for the large amount with which our hero had ”tipped” her. ”And has ears for moosic, sir. With grateful thanks to you, sir, for the same. And it's obleeged I feel in my art. Which it reelly were like what my own son would do, sir. As was found in drink for his rewing. And were took to the West Injies for a sojer. Which he were - ugh! oh, oh! Which you be'old me a hafflicted martyr to these spazzums, sir.
And <vg120-2.jpg> how I am to get through them doorin' the veecation.
Without a havin' 'em eased by a-goin' to your cupboard, sir. For just three spots o' brandy on a lump o' sugar, sir. Is a summut as I'm afeered to think on. Oh! ugh!” Upon which Mrs. Tester's grief and spasms so completely overcame her, that our hero presented her with an extra half-sovereign, wherewith to purchase the medicine that was so peculiarly adapted to her complaint. Mr. Robert Filcher was also ”tipped” in the same liberal manner; and our hero completed his first term's residence in Brazenface by establis.h.i.+ng himself as a decided favourite. Among those who seemed disposed to join in this opinion was
[AN OXFORD FRESHMAN 121]
the Jehu of the Warwicks.h.i.+re coach, who expressed his conviction to our delighted hero, that ”he wos a young gent as had much himproved hisself since he tooled him up to the 'Varsity with his guvnor.” To fully deserve which high opinion, Mr. Verdant Green tipped for the box-seat, smoked <vg121.jpg> more than was good for him, and besides finding the coachman in weeds, drank with him at every ”change” on the road.
The carriage met him at the appointed place, and his luggage (no longer encased in canvas, after the manner of females) was soon transferred to it; and away went our hero to the Manor Green, where he was received with the greatest demonstrations of delight.
Restored to the bosom of his family, our hero was converted into a kind of domestic idol; while it was proposed by Miss Mary Green, seconded by Miss f.a.n.n.y, and carried by unanimous acclamation, that Mr. Verdant Green's University career had greatly enhanced his attractions.
The opinion of the drawing-room was echoed from the servants'-hall, the ladies' maid in particular being heard freely to declare, that ”Oxford College had made quite a man of Master Verdant!”
As the little circ.u.mstance on which she probably grounded her encomium had fallen under the notice of Miss Virginia Verdant, it may have accounted for that most correct-minded lady being more reserved in expressing her opinion of her nephew's improvement than were the rest of the family; but she nevertheless thought a great deal on the subject.
[122 ADVENTURES OF MR. VERDANT GREEN]
”Well, Verdant!” said Mr. Green, after hearing divers anecdotes of his son's college-life, carefully prepared for home-consumption; ”now tell us what you've learnt in Oxford.”
”Why,” replied our hero, as he reflected on his freshman's career, ”I have learnt to think for myself, and not to believe every thing that I hear; and I think I could fight my way in the world; and I can chaff a cad -”
”Chaff a cad! oh!” groaned Miss Virginia to herself, thinking it was something extremely dreadful.
”And I have learnt to row - at least, not quite; but I can smoke a weed - a cigar, you know. I've learnt that.”
”Oh, Verdant, you naughty boy!” said Mrs. Green, with maternal fondness. ”I was sadly afraid that Charles Larkyns would teach you all his wicked school habits!”
”Why, mama,” said Mary, who was sitting on a footstool at her brother's knee, and spoke up in defence of his college friend; ”why, mama, all gentlemen smoke; and of course Mr. Charles Larkyns and Verdant must do as others do. But I dare say, Verdant, he taught you more useful things than that, did he not?”
”Oh, yes,” replied Verdant; ”he taught me to grill a devil.”
”Grill a devil!” groaned Miss Virginia. ”Infatuated young man!”
”And to make shandy-gaff and sherry-cobbler, and brew bishop and egg-flip: oh, it's capital! I'll teach you how to make <vg122.jpg> it; and we'll have some to-night!”
And thus the young gentleman astonished his family with the extent of his learning, and proved how a youth of ordinary natural attainments may acquire other knowledge in his University career than what simply pertains to cla.s.sical literature.