Part 2 (1/2)

ACT RIGHT.

There are many churches that teach doctrine, and that is good. We all need a strong foundation of good solid doctrine. But along with that doctrine, we also need to know how to live our lives. If we are going to represent Jesus properly, we need to walk victoriously. The Bible states we are more than conquerors (See Romans 8:37) and we are to reign as kings in life through Jesus Christ (See Romans 5:17). If we are defeated and lack victory, no one will want what we have. But when we are victorious, others see it and want the same victories in their lives. To put it plainly, if we want other people to accept Jesus, we must show them that having a relations.h.i.+p with Him makes a real difference in our lives. When we call ourselves Christians and go to church but repeatedly behave badly, people think we are hypocrites and phonies. G.o.d has given us the power to make right choices and manifest right behavior. How we act is important!

G.o.d has given us the power to make right choices and manifest right behavior.

The realization that I was a Christian with very little victory is what urged me to seek a deeper relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d. That took place in 1976. As a Christian I knew I was saved by grace and that I would go to heaven when I died, but I was not enjoying the journey. I was miserable, and I had a negative att.i.tude and life. Whatever effect I was having on others was probably not a positive one. I needed a big change. I was going to church but I did not truly know G.o.d's Word. I trusted Him to go to heaven but not for everything that concerned me. I called on Him in emergencies but did not let Him into my everyday life. G.o.d had a much better life for me than I ever dreamed of, and He has the same thing for you.

Don't settle for anything less than the best G.o.d has to offer you. You can have a deep, intimate, personal relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d through Jesus Christ. You can enjoy daily fellows.h.i.+p with Him and walk in victory as you travel through this life. The Lord desires to teach us how to live, how to think, how to talk, and how to act for our own good and happiness as well as to glorify Him. These principles are clearly taught in the Bible. When we diligently study the Word and allow the Lord to bless our life with truth, there is no end to what He can show us.

We are His personal representatives in the earth and we need to represent Him well (See 2 Corinthians 5:20).

Don't settle for anything less than the best G.o.d has to offer you.

DOCTRINE VERSUS LIBERTY.

But [as for] you, teach what is fitting and becoming to sound (wholesome) doctrine [the character and right living that identify true Christians]. (t.i.tus 2:1) I went to church for years and years and never heard a message about the power my words had on my life. I may have heard something about my thoughts, but if so, it wasn't enough to make any impact on my life because it did not change my thinking. I heard about grace and salvation and other good things. But it wasn't everything I needed to know in order to live in the righteousness, peace, and joy G.o.d offers to all who believe (See Romans 14:17).

There are many wonderful churches that teach G.o.d's Word in its entirety and I encourage you to make sure that wherever you choose to go to church, it is a place where you are learning and growing spiritually. We should not go to church just to fulfill an obligation we may think we have to G.o.d. We should go to church to fellows.h.i.+p with other believers in Jesus Christ, to wors.h.i.+p G.o.d, and to learn how to live the life Jesus died for us to have and enjoy. We are called salt and light in the Bible (See Matthew 5:13-16). That means our lives should make people thirsty for what we have and bring a bright spot into their darkness.

Sometimes religious teaching doesn't take us far enough.

It just stays in the realm of doctrine. Sometimes we get so tied up in church doctrine and rules and regulations that we never really get over into the power, victory, and freedom Jesus died to give us. For example, I was taught to pray but never told I could come ”boldly” to the throne of grace. I wasn't taught about righteousness through Christ; therefore James 5:16, which states that tremendous power is made available when a righteous man prays, had no effect on my life. I tried to pray while I was filled with guilt and condemnation. I tried to pray while feeling insecure and fearful that G.o.d was not pleased with me. As a result my prayers were weak and not very effective. I learned about the princ.i.p.al of prayer but not the power of prayer available to the believer who understands righteousness.

Even more, I was given the impression that it was spiritual to feel unworthy and to see myself as a poor, miserable sinner. Although we have all sinned, it is not spiritual to feel bad about ourselves and be insecurea”to feel as if we are no good, terrible, awful people who can never do anything right. I felt that way without Jesus, and I ended up feeling the same way after accepting Him as my Savior and Lord. That was wrong.

It is G.o.d's willa”and therefore spiritual and pleasing to Hima”to see ourselves in Christ. We should believe that if we have repented of our sins and accepted Jesus as our Savior, He has given us His righteousness. We are to walk in this life with our head held high because we are children of G.o.d and He loves us.

RELIGION AND RIGHTEOUSNESS.

Some people within the religious community become upset with hearing someone like me talk about righteousness. I have received more judgment and criticism from some religious people over the one issue of righteousness than over anything else I teach. I have been accused of saying I am without sin, which I have never said. I know I do wrong things; I sin, but I don't concentrate on and continually fellows.h.i.+p with my sin.

My fellows.h.i.+p is with the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit (See 1 John 1:3 KJV). Since G.o.d has made provision for our sins, I ask Him to forgive all my sins. I receive His gift of forgiveness, and then continue fellows.h.i.+pping with and serving Him. I don't believe I have to add my guilt to His sacrifice. His sacrifice was complete and perfect, and no work of my flesh can improve on what He has done: My little children, I write you these things so that you may not violate G.o.d's law and sin. But if anyone should sin, we have an Advocate (One Who will intercede for us) with the Fathera”[it is] Jesus Christ [the all] righteous [upright, just, Who conforms to the Father's will in every purpose, thought and action]. (1 John 2:1) Obviously our goal should be not to sin. But if we do sin, G.o.d has already provided Jesus, Who has been perfect in our place. He has conformed to righteousness in every area. Succ.u.mbing to a lifetime of guilt is just another form of approval addiction. We feel we are earning G.o.d's forgiveness by feeling guilty. It is our fleshly way of ”paying” for our mistake. The good news is that Jesus has already paid and we can look to and identify with Him when we need forgiveness. Jesus did not die for us so we could have a religion. He died for us so we could have an intimate relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d through Him. He died so our sins could be forgiven and we could have a right standing with G.o.d. He died so we could come boldly to the throne of grace in prayer and have our needs met.

Succ.u.mbing to a lifetime of guilt is just another form of approval addiction.

ARE YOU FELLOWs.h.i.+PPING WITH G.o.d OR WITH YOUR SIN?.

The devil delights in reminding us daily of all our mistakes from the past. On Monday he reminds us of Sat.u.r.day and Sunday's failures; on Tuesday he reminds us of sins committed on Monday, and so on. One morning I was spending my time with the Lord, thinking about my problems and all the areas in which I had failed, when suddenly the Lord spoke to my heart: ”Joyce, are you going to fellows.h.i.+p with Me or with your problems?” It is our fellows.h.i.+p with G.o.d that helps and strengthens us to overcome our problems. We are strengthened through our union with Him. If we spend our time with G.o.d fellows.h.i.+pping with our mistakes from yesterday, we never receive strength to overcome them today. Meditating on all of our faults and failures weakens us, but meditating on G.o.d's grace and willingness to forgive strengthens us: For by the death He died, He died to sin [ending His relation to it] once for all; and the life that He lives, He is living to G.o.d [in unbroken fellows.h.i.+p with Him].

Even so consider yourselves also dead to sin and your relation to it broken, but alive to G.o.d [living in unbroken fellows.h.i.+p with Him] in Christ Jesus. (Romans 6:10-11, emphasis mine) Our relations.h.i.+p and fellows.h.i.+p is to be with G.o.d, not with our sins.

How much do you fellows.h.i.+p with your sins, failures, mistakes, and weaknesses? Whatever time it is, it is wasted. When you sin, admit it, ask for forgiveness, and then continue your fellows.h.i.+p with G.o.d. The Scripture above says we are alive to G.o.d, living in unbroken fellows.h.i.+p with Him. Don't let your sins come between you and the Lord. Even when you sin, G.o.d still wants to spend time with you, hear and answer your prayers, and help you with all of your needs. He wants you to run to Him, not away from Him!

ACCIDENTAL SIN.

No one born (begotten) of G.o.d [deliberately, knowingly, and habitually] practices sin, for G.o.d's nature abides in him [His principle of life, the divine sperm, remains permanently within him]; and he cannot practice sinning because he is born (begotten) of G.o.d. (1 John 3:9) I like to put it this way: I used to be a full-time sinner, and once in a while I accidentally slipped up and did something right. But now that I have spent many years developing a deep, personal relations.h.i.+p with G.o.d and His Word, I concentrate on being a full-time obedient child of G.o.d. I still make mistakes, but not nearly as many as I once did. I am not where I need to be, but thank G.o.d I am not where I used to be. There are times when I accidentally make mistakes, but it is not the desire of my heart to do wrong. I do not deliberately, knowingly commit sin. I do not habitually sin. So I don't allow those occasions to make me feel insecure. I don't do everything right, but I do know that the att.i.tude of my heart is right.

I can be having an absolutely wonderful day, feeling very close to the Lord and quite spiritual. Then my husband, Dave, comes home and says he does not care for the outfit I am wearing, and I suddenly become angry and defensive, telling him everything I don't like about him either.

I don't intend for that to happen; in fact, I plan to be very sweet and submissive when he comes home. But, as Paul said in Romans 7, the things I want to do, I don't do, and the things I don't want to do, I end up doing.

I am not where I need to be, but thank G.o.d I am not where I used to be.

I am so glad G.o.d sees our hearts and not our sins!

I am like the man who lay in bed praying: ”Dear Lord, so far today I have not done anything wrong. I have not been grouchy, selfish, or impatient. But in a few moments I am going to get up, and after that I will need a lot of help.” Or, as I like to put it, I have no difficulty getting along with people when no one is at home but me!

We plan for right behavior because our hearts are right, but like Paul our plans don't always work. Thank G.o.d for His mercy that is new every day (See Lamentations 3:2223).

COMPEt.i.tION.

Just because you are a Christian does not mean you are going to do everything right all the time. But because you have been made right with G.o.d, you can stop comparing yourself to and competing with everyone else. Our acceptance is not found in being like someone else, but in being who we are through faith in Christ. Be the best ”you” that you can be! Don't find some other person in the church you think is ”Sister Super Christian” or ”Brother Saint,” someone who seems to have it all together, and then try your best to be like them. That is just the side of their nature they show at church. There may be a totally different side they show at home.

We all have our baggage we try to hide in public. Despite how wonderful we may appear to others, we all make mistakes. You are no worse than anyone else. You have strengths and weaknesses, and you do things right and you do things wrong. You sin, just as everyone else does. And sin is sin, despite its nature or magnitude. Regardless of how hard we try, none of us will ever be completely perfect in this life, but not being perfect at everything we do does not mean we have no worth or value.

You are speciala”uniquea”and that means there is only one like you, imperfections and all. My husband has a s.p.a.ce between his front teeth. Some time ago we talked about having it fixed. After thinking about it, I told him that I would rather he leave the s.p.a.ce there because it is part of him, and I like him the way he is. The world may consider it a flaw, but to me it is just Dave. Our children feel the same way.

Regardless of how hard we try, none of us will ever be completely perfect in this life.

Competing and comparing ourselves with others can cause only two things. It can cause an att.i.tude of pride because we deem ourselves to be better than others, or an att.i.tude of insecurity because we deem others to be better than we are. Both of these att.i.tudes are unG.o.dly and should be avoided.

According to Scripture, Jesus broke down the dividing wall between people (See Ephesians 2:14). None of us has any value except what we have in Christ. Our strengths come from Him as gifts, and we cannot take credit for them. Our weaknesses are covered by His grace, and we can only thank Him for it. Since our strengths are gifts from G.o.d, it is pointless to judge our worth or value by comparing ourselves to others. If G.o.d gives the gifts, we certainly should not feel inferior just because He did not give us the same gifts He gave someone else. We all have gifts, but they differ from one another (See Romans 12:38).

In Scripture we see an instance in which the disciples of John the Baptist felt threatened by the popularity of Jesus' ministry. They went to John and said, ”Everybody is flocking to Him.” John's reply should be seriously considered by all those who feel the need to compare themselves or their gifts and abilities with others: John answered, A man can receive nothing [he can claim nothing, he can take unto himself nothing] except as it has been granted to him from heaven. [A man must be content to receive the gift which is given him from heaven; there is no other source.] (John 3:27) John knew what he was sent to do, and he was doing it. He was not threatened by anyone who looked greater or better than he did. He knew that he was only responsible to be the best he could be. He was not responsible to be anyone else or even to be like anyone else.

Sometimes we seek to be like others, hoping to gain their approval. We must remember that G.o.d's approval is what we truly need, and we have it, as long as we pursue His will for our lives. G.o.d will never help us be anyone other than ourselves. I believe the Holy Spirit is grieved when we compete with others and compare ourselves with them. He wants us to be ourselves and to like who we are.

Please remember that you don't have to be like someone else to be acceptable. The world's standards are not G.o.d's. The world may say you need to be like this person or that person, but G.o.d's will is that you be yourself.

I spent many years trying to be like someone else: my husband, my neighbor, my pastor's wife, et cetera. I became so confused that I lost sight of myself. It was a great day of victory for me when I finally realized that G.o.d only wanted me to be me, that He had created me with His own hand in my mother's womb, that I was not a mistake, and that I could stand before Him as an individual without needing to compare myself with others.

The world's standards are not G.o.d's.

Jesus is our standard, not any other person. If you are going to seek to be like anyone, let it be Jesus Himself. He is our righteousness. So embrace that righteousness, which produces feelings of being right rather than wrong, and begin to live free of insecurity.

Now let's take a look at how important having a sense of worth is to overcoming approval addiction.

Chapter 4.

Changing Your Self-Image

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. (Proverbs 23:7) G.o.d wants to help you change your self-image. Your selfimage is the picture you carry of yourself on the inside of you. You may carry pictures of your spouse, your children, your grandchildren, or someone else in your purse or wallet. If somebody says, ”Let me see a picture of your family,” you open it up and show them. But what if I said to you, ”Let me see the picture that you carry of yourself in your heart”? What would I see?