Part 7 (2/2)
”What's wrong with Dinah?” says Manning.
”Rheumatism,” is the answer. We choose 'Moonlight Serenade', 'Two O'clock Jump' and 'The Naughty Waltz'.
”You see! Those numbers will lose us the contest,” predicts Jim, one of the first people in 1939 to say ”The war will be over by Christmas.” We practise and practise, every note and nuance is observed, we even play the specks of fly s.h.i.+t that land on the music. Nothing is wasted.
We want to wear just s.h.i.+rts and trousers. Major New won't hear of it: ”This is a military occasion, and you will look regimental.” OK, we can wear steel helmets, full pack, and play in the kneeling loading position; then while half of the band play 'Moonlight Serenade', the other half dig slit trenches; in 'One O'clock Jump' we can all fix bayonets and charge the judges; and finally, in 'The Naughty Waltz' we'll all crawl along the stage and lob grenades at the audience.
The time is come. Backstage, musicians with extra Brylcreem in their dressing-rooms, playing scales, octaves or cards. Major New announces the draw. ”We're on first.” Groans.
”I told you we'll 'ave no luck with those f.u.c.kin' numbers,” says Manning.
”It's Kismet,” I said.
”What?”
”Kismet, that's what Nelson said to Hardy.”
”I thought it was Kiss Me Hardy.”
No, that was Stan Laurel, that's the popular version, you're very popular if you quote that version.
”U lot better get on,” says a snotty-nosed Base Depot Sergeant, one of those cringing acolytes that has always got extra f.a.gs and chocolates in their locker, a housey-housey concession, never lends money, and has never been nearer than a hundred miles to the front line.
Dance band contest gets away on the down beat An innovation in Naples entertainment was the 56 Area Welfare Services' Dance Band Compet.i.tion, ath the Belini Theatre on Sunday. It was a big success, bith as an interesting compet.i.tion and as a well staged show.
Each of the eight bands had a strong following.
The bands were called upon to play a slow fox-trot, a modern walz and a quick-step as compet.i.tion peaces. This gave scope for sweet music as well as swing, and generally the standard of playing was very high.
Marks were awarded for intonation, tempo, phrasing and attack, and ensemble---and thought these finer points were perhaps above a large part of the audience, there seemed common concurrence with the judges' decisions .
The first band on the stage was G.H.Q. O2E, led by Sjt. Stan Brittin, and it achieved the difficult task of building up the right atmosphere and setting the feet of the audience tapping. There followed:--- 'F' Section, 16 Base Workshops (leader Cfn. Jack Sheldon); The Pionians, 333 (A) Company, Pioneer Corps (Hans Tischard); 5 a.s.sembly Wing, Type A I.R.T.D. (Sjt Reg Service); 8 Petrol Depot, R.A.S.C. (Pte. Jack Curtiss); 5 Bn., No. 1 G.R.T.D. (Pte. Eddie Williams); 113 M.U., R.A.F. (L.A.C. Lee Underwood); and 'J' Section, 750 Base Workshops R.E.M.E. (Cln. Mock Loveday) Lieut. T.T. Short, 56 Area's producer, swa to it that there was no delay in changing bands, and the whole show went [text faded...]
for the job, were Lieut. Eddie Carrol, the B.B.C. dance band leader, Lieut. 'Spike' McIntosh, well-known locally as a trumpeter and Ensa's C.M.F. Publicity Officer, and F.-O. Laurie Blewis, producer of M.C.A.F. entertainments.
Three bands---5 a.s.sembly Wing, I.R.T.D.l 113 M.U., R.A.F.; and 16 base Workshops pa.s.s into the semi-final to be held in Sunday, June 10, for dancing in the ball-room at the Royal Palace Naafi. It will begin at 1900 hrs.
The judges added that O2E were close runners-up. As opening band they had perhaps been handicapped but the order of playing had gbeen decided by draw.
Individual awards were:---113 M.U. R.A.F. Cpl. Dennis Jones (tenor sax); and Cpl. Dennis Jones (tenor sax); and Cpl. Eric Chapman (trumpet). 5 a.s.sembly Wing, L.-Cpl. H. Burn, section leader (trumpet), 5 B_ G.R.T.D., Pte. Eddy Williams (piano), and Pte. Sid Grainger (drums). 8 Petrol Depot, Dvr. Dennis Ewart (alto sax), Pionians, L.-Cpl. Kurt Br__n (vocalist). O2E, Sjt. Harry Carr. section leader (alto sax).
Prizes for instrumentalists will be presented at the final, at the Bellini Theatre, on Sunday, June 17 June 17.
NORMAN ENGLAND.
Transcribed newspaper cutting from the Union Jack, 1945 The compere for the contest is Captain Philip Ridgeway, the announcer. He is as informed on Dance Bands as Mrs Thatcher is on Groin Clenching in the Outer Hebrides. Other judges are Lt. Eddie Carrol, famed composer of 'Harlem' and Lieutenant 'Spike' Mackintosh, famous for not writing 'Harlem'.
Can you believe it - we didn't win! WE DIDN'T win !!! I wasn't even mentioned mentioned!! Why were the 56 Area Welfare Service persecuting me like this? At the contest I had heard shouts of 'Give him the Prize'. No one listened, even though I shouted it very loud. Never mind, there would be other wars...!
The first Dance Band Contest held in this country took place at the Bellini Theatre on The first Dance Band Contest held in this country took place at the Bellini Theatre on Sunday, 3 Sunday, 3rd June June. Eight bands took part, including the O2E Dance Band, and a very high standard was shown by most of the compet.i.tors. Each band played four numbers, the first being a 'warm-up' followed by a Slow Foxtrot, Waltz and Quickstep. The O2E Band opened the contest, their combination being 3 Trumpets, 2 Alto Sax, Tenor Sax, Piano, Drums, Ba.s.s and Guitar, and for their three tunes they chose 'Moonlight Serenade', ”Naughty Waltz', and 'Two O'Clock Jump.” The O2E Band opened the contest, their combination being 3 Trumpets, 2 Alto Sax, Tenor Sax, Piano, Drums, Ba.s.s and Guitar, and for their three tunes they chose 'Moonlight Serenade', ”Naughty Waltz', and 'Two O'Clock Jump.” They had a great reception, which they richly deserved. Every man gave of his best and the intonation and phrasing were excellent. They had a great reception, which they richly deserved. Every man gave of his best and the intonation and phrasing were excellent. 'Two O'Clock' Jump' was the most difficult piece played during the contest, and was tackled with exceptional apt.i.tude. 'Two O'Clock' Jump' was the most difficult piece played during the contest, and was tackled with exceptional apt.i.tude. Transcribed excerpt from Transcribed excerpt from Valjean Valjean by S. G. Lewis by S. G. Lewis I took it all philosophically. I dressed up as Plato. So what? I didn't get a prize, but I still had my files, my pile ointment and my treasure trove of back-up underwear; mine would get anybody's back up.
Now I would concentrate on chasing Candy; evidence of this is contained in the following drool doc.u.ment: [image]
Did you get that? Did I really write that c.r.a.p? No wonder the BBC only book me on a pro-rata basis. That Milligan of 1945 is dead. Then I was twenty-seven. Now I am sixty-seven and the engine has just had its tenth MOT test and failed.
June 17 DIARY: DIARY: DANCE BAND FINALS DANCE BAND FINALS.
We sat through the finals contest, disenchanted that we weren't in it, but drew comfort when Taffy Carr was called: ”1st Prize for the best lead alto, Sergeant H. Evans O2E band,” and was handed something that had been made by St Dunstan's Home for the Blind. It looked like an army tea mug with the handle removed, stuck on to a sawn-down broom handle nailed to the lid of a cigarette tin, then whitewashed. ”It'll look good on the mantelpiece,” said Taffy. I for one couldn't wait. He threw a celebration dinner, most of which hit Jim Manning. No, seriously folks, at La Topo off Via Roma we spaghettied and wined too much, but at the time it seemed just right. All stuffed into a brougham, pulled by a thin horse, we sang and shouted, until, on a hill, the horse packed in. We paid the driver. When he saw the tip -he packed it in as well. Three in the morning, I tiptoed in. Prize for the best lead alto, Sergeant H. Evans O2E band,” and was handed something that had been made by St Dunstan's Home for the Blind. It looked like an army tea mug with the handle removed, stuck on to a sawn-down broom handle nailed to the lid of a cigarette tin, then whitewashed. ”It'll look good on the mantelpiece,” said Taffy. I for one couldn't wait. He threw a celebration dinner, most of which hit Jim Manning. No, seriously folks, at La Topo off Via Roma we spaghettied and wined too much, but at the time it seemed just right. All stuffed into a brougham, pulled by a thin horse, we sang and shouted, until, on a hill, the horse packed in. We paid the driver. When he saw the tip -he packed it in as well. Three in the morning, I tiptoed in.
”Who's that?” said the Yew clutching his Pay Book.
”Steve, you've been waiting for me like a good Jewish mother.”
”I hope it was a nice Jewish girl nice Jewish girl,” was all he would say.
Now, I I would raise the band's morale! For one, they looked terrible playing in battledress. And they looked terrible when they were not playing. would raise the band's morale! For one, they looked terrible playing in battledress. And they looked terrible when they were not playing.
I chat up a local tailor. Can he make Harry James white jackets like my drawing? ”Si.” Armed with the 'Si', I troop all the herberts back to be measured.
”Is 'e a tailor or a mortician?” says Jim.
”You must wait and see, Jim.”
”Who's going to b.l.o.o.d.y well pay?” says sensible Stan Britton.
”We must wait and see,” I tell him.
The jackets are splendid; it only remains for us to dye our trousers black, draw white s.h.i.+rts from the Q Stores, buy bow ties, and no one will be able to tell the difference between Harry James and us, provided they stand well back. It's a secret.
When the curtains part at the Sat.u.r.day hop, gasps of 'We're in the wrong hall' come from the dancers. ”'Tis a miracle,” says an Irishman, crossing himself.
Major New comes puffing up. ”Bai Jove laids, you look super, this is how I always wanted the boys to look.”
Thank you, we say, and that will be ten thousand lire a jacket; and lo! the Major is cast down - but in the goodness of time he payeth up, and lo, there was a great skint in the camp. However, he he got all the b.l.o.o.d.y praise, got all the b.l.o.o.d.y praise, and and took it. At dinner, the Brigadier made a speech: here it is, as reported by an officers' mess waiter, Private Rossi. took it. At dinner, the Brigadier made a speech: here it is, as reported by an officers' mess waiter, Private Rossi.
Gentlemen, I'd just like to thank Major New for his brilliant transformation of the band from sacks of s.h.i.+t to Harry James sacks of s.h.i.+t. The design of white jacket and black trousers showing where the top half leaves off and the bottom half begins is a great help to musicians when dressing themselves.
Every word is true, I swear on this copy of Portnoy's Complaint Portnoy's Complaint.
Looking as good as we did, the gigs rolled in, and for a gunner I was getting rich. The going rate was now 500 lire or the equivalent in force feeding. There were better things to come.
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