Part 12 (2/2)

The truth is that our(rather appropriate) but by the time Jimmy has reached the pitch, the Methwold team is convinced that if Hannibal Lecter were at Wayland he would be relegated to the subs bench

The first half is a shaoes up and down the pitch with little speed and even less purpose Wayland are trying to get to know each other, while Methwold still aren't sure if they dare risk the occasional tackle It's 0-0 when the whistle blows for half-time, and frankly no one deserved to score

The second half is a coe Wayland has: fitness All of our teayins to show The first goal is headed inby Carl (GBH), after an excellent cross by our 'double-murderer1 The second is scored by Dan (armed robbery), another of our strikers, and the third is added by Hitch (arson) We end up winning 3-0, which augurs well for the rest of the season Perhaps we could even win the league cup this year But it's back to disadvantages, because three of the tea Jimmy, are due to be released before Christmas, and the side ill field at the end of the season will bear no rese encounter

Despite the tealorious victory, some of the officers are irritated by the fact that they've beenaround until we return for a late lunch With the exception of Mr Nutbourne, who et us banged up and go off duty

The relationshi+p between officers and prisoners is always conducted on a tightrope which both sides walk every day The officers on duty that Sundayunwisely miss an opportunity to make their own lives easier A feords of praise and allowing an extra e dividends in the long run Instead, the victors return to their cells with shrivelled-up pieces of ravy, unable to shower until we are unlocked again in two hours' time Of course I understand that the prison is not run for the convenience of the prisoners, but here was an opportunity for the officers toterm They botched it, with the exception of Mr Nutbourne, ill get far more cooperation and respect froio has talked to his brother in Bogota

The four emeralds that his brother initially selected have been shortlisted to two and, along with a io's brother will make the final selection tomorrow He has also assured hiem would retail at three tiio's school friend has told hiio's mother, she has made an appointment with Botero's mother, and will report back by the end of the week My heart leaps at the thought of finally owning a Botero

400 pm While I do a circuit with Jily now proves, unlike Dale, to be astill and patient hted with the preliminary sketches and, , I ask Darren about the rabbits The rabbits, it seems, are no fools They knohen the prisoners are fed, and burrow under the fence to gather up the food thrown out of the s by the inmates after lockup They are occasionally joined by a family of ducks But, and there is always a but in prison, there is also a fox lurking around, who is evenHe also enters under the fence after lock up, and catches the rabbits while they nibble the food dropped from the prisoners' table The fox has also worked out that there is no such thing as 'The Wayland Hunt'

I tell Shaun that I've spoken to Chris Beetles and hope that it will result in his being in receipt (I select the words carefully) of the highest quality drawing paper, chalks, watercolours and pencils, so that his final effort can't be blahted

600 pes I will have to remain in my five paces by three cell for the next fourteen hours

I start reading Jeeves What a different world Bertie Wooster lived in Hoould Bertie have coped with Wayland? I suppose Jeeves would have volunteered to take his place

DAY 47

MONDAY 3 SEPTEMBER 2001

543 am

I wake to the s you up to date on ramme The white undercoat was finished yesterday, and while I was at pottery Locke (GBH, spur painter) added a coat of e and skirting board

I have always liked brick as a inative, so during pottery class this n a pattern for the walls, and then find out if Locke is willing to add 'interior decorator' to his portfolio It may well cost me another couple of pounds, but I could then enterpottery class, Shaun begins to knock out a few ideas for a pattern on inative they areHe then produces his sketch pad and shows me his latest ideas for the book cover The first one is a cell door with eyes peeping through the little flap, while the second is a prisoner's card as displayed outside every cell I wonder if he could somehow combine the two

12 noon After lunch I make notes in preparation for a visit from William, James and David, my driver of fifteen years Once I've done this I have to learn each of the headings by heart, as I' into the visitors' room

I count how ht, James nine, David five After that I'll have to rely onon a new pair of jeans and a freshly ironed, blue-striped shi+rt I have never been vain, but I a unkeot the better of me

200 pm As I leave the cell to join my children, Locke strolls in

I haven't yet sue to tell him about my idea for further redecoration, and I suspect I'll end up leaving the negotiations to er, Darren

When I arrive in the visitors' area, I am searched for the first time in over a week, but compared to Belmarsh this exercise is fairly cursory I don't know if suspected drug addicts and dealers receive different treatain allocated table four- teen, where I takethe three blue chairs vacant I look around the room that holds about seventy tables, but only five are occupied by prisoners This is because of the breakdown of the prison co schedule into chaos

Jah the door, surprise, surprise, followed by Willias I explain that I wish to allocate the two hours judiciously The first half hour I'll spend with William, the second with Ja the final half hour with all three of them

While the other two disappear Will updates me on the KPMG report and my D-cat reinstatement Mary has been in touch with Gillian Shephard, currently overnor of Wayland and make it clear that once the police have dropped their enquiry, I ought to be moved on to an open prison as quickly as possible Mind you, the Prison Service's idea of as quickly as possible

Will also reports that he hopes to return to America in about three weeks as he has been offered several new commissions for documentaries To his surprise, he's also been approached about soht points, Will briefsup well in the circumstances, but he feels that she has probably been most affected by the whole experience

I then ask if Will could do three things for ive Chris Beetles 200 in order that Shaun will be in receipt of the art materials he needs Second, select a bowl and plate froewater collection and send them to Darren at Wayland, a man whose kindness I will never be able to repay properly Finally, I ask if he will soet hold of my special Staedtler liquid pens, because- Will points to the tray in front of me, where I see he has slipped two behind a can of Diet coke

I set the treasure back toconfiscated

Once I've cos me up to date on his social life Ten minutes later he leaves me and James takes his place

I spend soround, and explain how three weeks in prison, in such intense circumstances, is the equivalent of about three months on the outside He nods, as he's well aware that this is only background before I broach the real subject Having established Sergio's credentials, about which I tell hio on, we then discuss the subject of ereat detail I explain for an investment of 10,000, subject to valuation, ill acquire one eio turns out to have been honest about the e hie to find any paintings,' I add, 'then the worse case scenario is that Mary will end up with a rather special Christmas present'

Because James has inherited his mother's brains andWe agree to speak again by phone towards the end of the week Ismile across at David and he joins us

After a few preliood holiday, I can see he's nervous, which has always been David's way of tellinghim I try to make it as easy as possible for both of us

'Are you still thinking of e to Australia?' I ask

”No' he replies, 'et on the quota, unless you have a job to go to, or relatives already living there'

'I suppose I'll have a better chance now I've been to prison,' I suggest, before adding, 'So what are you planning to do?'

'Sue and I are thinking of settling in Turkey We've spent our last few holidays there, and we like the people, the cli'

'So ould you want to leave?'