Part 4 (2/2)

'That's only the first post' Mr Chapman tells her

'I can quite believe it,' she says 'My parents send their best wishes My father wanted you to sign one of his books, but I told him it would be most unprofessional' I rise frommy place 'Good luck with your appeal,' she adds, as we shake hands I thank her and return to my cell

12 noon Lunch: macaroni cheese and diet lemonade I hate le the bottle in an effort to remove the bubbles I have a considerable amount of time

145 py, assesss This is another part ofin my life, I can't afford to miss it Otherwise I will never beNaturally I comply

200 pm I try to pick up my books and notepads froularly reminds me 'Meanwell is my name, and mean well is ainst prison regulations All notepads and pens have to be purchased froh the library, who buy them direct from Waterstone's

'But in Belmarsh they allowed me to have two notepads, two packets of pens and any number of books I required sent in, and they're a maximum-security prison'

'I know,' says Meanith a s I can do about it'

I thank him Many of the senior officers know only too hat's sensible and what isn't, but are worried that if I receive what could be construed as special treat The rule is enforced because books, pads and pens are sio on writing, I'll have to purchase these items from the canteen, which means I'll need to cut down on Spa for about an hour when I aain, eleven of us assemble in the room with the co lady called Leah, who tells us that if we have any drug-related problems, she is there to advise and help Leah re an even larger boulder up an even steeper hillI glance around the rooned I' The one comment Leah makes that catches the prisoners' attention is that if they were to have a period on D wing, the drug-free wing, it ht even help with their parole But before Leah can finish her sentence a ripple of laughter breaks out, and she ad than on A, B or C Drug-free wings in most prisons have that reputation

When Leah coht-reeted with silence, the sa a little est proble, and not one prisoner has a question for the CARAT representative, let alone attee her in serious debate However, I am relieved to observe that two inmates remain behind to have a private conversation with Leah

600 pe Once a week you report to the laundry rooym kit I now have six towels and include four of thee

They are all replaced, despite each prisoner only being alloo However, they won't replace my second pillowcase because you're allowed only one I can't understand the logic of that

You're s, but I have already handed over that responsibility to Darren, who is the enhanced wing's laundry orderly He picks upevery Thursday, and returns it later that evening He asks for no reco my underpants in a sink shared with so

630 pm Supper Unworthy of mention

700 pm Exercise I walk round the perimeter of the yard with Darren and another inmate called Steve Steve was convicted of conspiracy to murder He is an accountant by profession, well spoken, intelligent and interesting co one He was a senior partner in a small successful firm of accountants He fell in love with one of the other partners, as already ht, on his way hoularly frequented He knew the bariven half a chance he'd kill the bastard ( more of it until he received a phone call froht price it could be arranged

The phone call was being taped by the police, as were several others that followed It was later revealed in court that the barman was already in trouble with the police and reported Steve in the hope that it would help have the charges against him dropped It seems the key sentence that o ahead with it?' which was repeated by the barman several tiirlfriend were arrested, pleaded guilty and were sentenced to seven years She currently resides at High-point, while he has gone from A- to B- to C-cat status in a couple of years (record ti at Wayland with D-cat status He doesn't want to move to an open prison because Wayland is near his home

He is also the prison's chief librarian I have a feeling that you'll be hearing more about Steve in the future

On the circuit round the perimeter we are joined by the prisoner I shared a cell with onwith a Stanley knife) He tells me that the News of the World have been in touch with hisa story on Sunday He tries to assure me that he has had no contact with the

Then it will only be three pages,' I tell hi worried He's also heard that Chris will be featured in the News of ike World this Sunday Chris told him that a lot of his friends and associates don't even know he's in jail, and he doesn't want them to find out He attends education classes twice a day and wants the chance to start a new life once he's been released I just don't have the heart to tell him that the News of the World have absolutely no interest in his future

1000 pust storms At 1030 Jules switches channels to Ally McBeal while I try unsuccessfully to sleep I', the TV in our cell, or the rapfrom the other side of the block

DAY 29

THURSDAY 16 AUGUST 2001

550 a theto Mary I can't explain it I write for a couple of hours

800 a in Jules's radio so that I can hear Mary's intervieith John Humphrys I shave while the news is on, and become more and more nervous It's always the same I am very anxious when Willia on, or Ja the 800 ive a talk that lay people ht expect to understand She's first on after the news and handles all of John Humphrys' questions in that quiet acadeent listener

But I can tell, even after her first reply, just how nervous she is Once Mary has dealt with the Kurds and Baroness Nicholson, Hu on in jail That hen Mary should have said, 'My agreement with you, Mr Hu from the Kurds' Once Mary failed to point this out, he moved on to the trial, the appeal and the sentence I had warned her that he would He has no interest in keeping to any agreement made between her and the producer And that's why he is such a sharp interviewer, as I know from past experience

930 am

I call Mary, who feels she was dreadful and coreement and once the piece was over she told him so What does he care? She then tells , was interviewed later, and was uncoestion that one penny raised for the Kurds in the UK had not been accounted for He went on to point out that I had nothing to do with either the collecting or distribution of any est to Mary that perhaps the time has come to sue Baroness Nicholson Mary tells me that the lawyer's first priority is to have my D-cat reinstated so I can be moved to an open prison before we issue the writ Good thinking

'Don't waste any more of your units' she says 'See you tomorrow'

950 a All fresh and clean, but the dryer has broken down for the first tithe T-shi+rts on the end of the bed, my underwear frole chair The sun is shi+ning, but not h the bars and into my cell

1000 aainst Australia, and Hussain is back as captain He said that although we've lost the Ashes (3-0), English pride is now at stake I write for an hour and then turn on the television at eleven to see on the toss It's been raining all ley (Leeds) I switch off the television and return tofor over an hour when the cell door is unlocked The governor would like a word I go to the interview roo for me

Mr Cariton-Boyce looks embarrassed when he tries to explain why I can't have any writing pads and pens or Alan Clark's Diaries I oes on to tellto C block after all They've had a re-think, and I'll be joining the adults on the enhanced spur, but - and there is always a but in prison - as no one is being released until 29 August, I'll have to stay put until then

I thank hile cell, as I fear it can't be too long before the News of the World will do to him exactly what they've done to every other prisoner who has shared a cell withdescribed as a drug baron, and he doesn't have any way of fighting back

Governor CarltonrBoyce nods Proo as far as saying, The next thing on htin toest hint I'll get

12 noon Lunch Dale passes le portion, and winks I was down on today's et backto my cell, I discover the other box contains etable stew It's not Le Caprice -but it's not Belmarsh either

115 pm I'm told that as part of my induction I , writing and numeracy test When I take my seat in the classroom and study the forms, it turns out to be exactly the same test as the one set at Belmarsh Should I tell theo, or should I just get on with it? I can see the headline in the Mirror: Archer Refuses to Take Writing Test It would be funny if it wasn't exactly what the Mirror would do I get on with it

315 pe about half of the set prograood, but the star turns out to be a forty-five-year-old gypsy, who is covered in tattoos, and serving an eleven-year sentence for drug dealing He's called Minnie, and out-runs them, out-jumps the heavily at the end He puts sters feel equally humiliated

420 per) is standing by my door He tells me that he's written the outline for a novel and wants to kno to get in contact with a ghostwriter This is usually a surrogate for are you available? I tell him exactly what I tell anyone else rites to o to your local library, take out a copy of The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook and you'll find a section listing agents who handle ghostwriters I assume that will keep hi a copy of The Writers' and Artists' Yearbook and shows lance down the list but none is faents over the years - Debbie Owen, George Greenfield, Deborah Rodgers, Jonathan Lloyd and Ed Victor - but there est that asme tomorrow, if he selects some names, I'll ask Jonathan if he knows any of them456 ple sheet of paper He hands over a Diet coke He's what Sient'

600 petable pie, two boiled potatoes and a lu un seul pois