Part 40 (1/2)
”Sorry, kid, there won't be a next time. She's got kids of her own and I'll be in school. I'll probably never see her again.”
”She has kids?” Mom asks. Her forehead crinkles between her brows and I know she's worried about how this information affects me.
”She does,” I smile. ”Twins that are younger than you, Squirt, but just as crazy.”
”And she's doing well,” Mom states, but I think it's more of a question.
”Yeah, from what I could tell. I mean, she thought I was the nanny, but she seemed good. It was nice to see her, but you know, it was something that I needed to do and I've done it. She looks happy, and her kids are adorable, but this is home.”
A sob escapes Mom and she buries her face in Dad's s.h.i.+rt while he holds her.
”Mommy, why you crying?” Luka asks.
”I'm glad your sister's home,” she smiles a gla.s.sy-eyed smile. ”She's my first baby and I missed her. A lot.”
”What are you gonna do when I go off to school, Mom?” I tease.
”You're not going,” she responds quickly. ”I've decided that you can never leave again.”
”What about me?” Luka pouts.
”She wants to send you off instead,” I tease.
I grab the little brat and squeeze her tight to me until she laughs and begs for me to let her go. She has no idea how lucky she is-how lucky we both are-to have these two for parents.
”I'm kidding. Even if she did want to, you're my annoying little sister and you're not going anywhere.” I kiss her cheek.
”Well you're my big cranky sister,” she answers quickly.
”Luka, why don't you get back to bed?” Dad suggests to a disappointed Luka.
She leaves but we remain silent until the door shuts and I'm left alone with my parents.
”So how is she?” Mom asks.
”She really seems to be good,” I answer.
”What did she say when you introduced yourself?”
I scrunch my face before answering, but she knows.
”You didn't introduce yourself, did you, Laila Jude?” Mom asks in disbelief.
”I did,” I argue, ”I just told her my name was Luka.”
”You're joking, right?” Dad sits back and scratches the scruff on his face. ”I thought you wanted to meet her and get to know her.”
”I did, but when the time came it just didn't seem right. I wanted to meet her, but I've had the best parents. You've made mistakes, I've made mistakes. But you're my family and taking that step didn't seem important anymore when I was there. I got to see where she lives and meet her kids-”
”Your brother and sister,” Mom interrupts.
”Luka is my sister. Ava and Evan, those are Andie's kids-and Andie is the woman who gave birth to me, but you two are my mom and dad. You put in the hard work and effort to raise me, and now she gets to do that with the twins.”
”Are you sure about this?” Dad asks, taking my hand in his and squeezing. ”Having her in your life doesn't mean you lose us. We want you to do whatever you need to and know that we'll support you.”
With my free hand I swipe a tear that is falling down my cheek and try to ignore the growing lump in my throat, but a sob escapes anyway.
”What did the boys think of her?” Mom asks.
”I went alone, but of course it turns out they were down the road. They told me they were going to the beach, but apparently they followed me. When I drove off, I saw them sitting at the coffee shop down the road trying to hide.” I laugh at the absurdity, but also love that they care about me so much.
”What did you say?” Mom laughs.
”I didn't say anything,” I shrug. ”Chalked it up to being the last official act of being in my barmy. Speaking of, I know I just got home, but Cole and Joey are leaving tomorrow morning and I want to say goodbye.”
”Give them both a hug from me,” Mom says, and I nod.
Sitting out here on my rock alone gives me time to think about how everything has played out up to this point. When I moved here as a little girl, I had no friends, but these guys took me in and gave me more than I ever imagined. They have been my family, my best friends, my support, my protectors, my co-conspirators, and my allies. For twelve years, I've had the comfort of knowing that if I ever needed them, all I had to do was ask and they'd be there-no questions asked.
That's what best friends do, right?
I don't know what I'm supposed to do without my lifeline.
I close my eyes and inhale as I try to steady my building sadness. This will be the last time I see my guys step through the bushes to our spot. Before long, this hideout will belong to another group of kids, or maybe someone will come in and develop it. Regardless, this is the end of an era and the knowledge of this makes me incredibly sad.
Two of my guys leave today, and in another week, I'll be gone.
”You're early, too,” Joey calls out as he steps toward me.
”Just waiting,” I say wistfully. ”And thinking.”
”Don't do that, it only gets you in trouble,” he teases.
”I'm going to miss you most,” I say, recalling the famous line from The Wizard of Oz.
He pulls me tightly to his body and I wrap my arms around his waist as I fight the impending tears and ugly cry.
”We'll still talk every day,” he says, almost convincingly.
”Okay,” I agree, even though I'm not sure I believe it.
One by one, the rest of the guys show up and join us at our safe haven, the place we grew up together. We reminisce about the first time we met and how we were an unlikely group.
”When are you leaving, Searle?” Joey asks.