Volume I Part 26 (2/2)
”They ain't under the bed, I just looked there.”
”Look in my somno.--Yes, monsieur, I mourn for my wife! If she were alive, she'd have found my slippers before this!”
”When a man mourns for his dead wife, he don't go masquerading round the streets in broad daylight! No, no! I don't trust you!”
At that moment they heard loud talking on the stairs. The door, which was not locked, was thrown open with violence, and the professor of bookkeeping rushed into the room, shouting at the top of his voice:
”What have I learned? Great G.o.d! He has worn a disguise, attended public b.a.l.l.s, and carried disregard of propriety so far as to appear in broad daylight and in his own neighborhood, dressed in a costume to which it is impossible to give a name.--Yes! it is not a falsehood, a fable, a false rumor; here he is, still in that absurd costume! and he, a man who keeps a business office, abandons himself to such libertinage--and without his shoes!--What a shocking disguise!”
”Ah! good-morning, Monsieur Beaub.i.+.c.hon, I am at your service in one moment.--Come, Madame Monin, will you give me my slippers or not?”
”They ain't in your somno either, monsieur.”
”You are at my service, monsieur!” rejoined the professor, puffing like an ox; ”but I, monsieur, I am not at your service! I no longer propose that you shall dispose of my destiny and my future.--Upon my word!--I have come to tell you, monsieur, that I withdraw my confidence from you and that you shall find no wife for me--for me, Aime-Desire-Jules Beaub.i.+.c.hon; the idea of my taking a wife on the guaranty of a pseudo Spaniard! of a man who so far forgets his manhood as to deck himself in tinsel that gives him the aspect of a mountebank!”
”I do the same, monsieur,” said the countryman; ”I withdraw my confidence from him; to be sure, I hadn't given it to him, but I withdraw it all the same. I was going to give him my power of attorney.
But nay, nay, Lisette! he won't have a chance to throw my money away at b.a.l.l.s!”
”He was employed to find me a spouse, monsieur; but where would he go to find one? to _Valentino_, or the _Salle-Barthelemy?_ For me, who desire good morals and virginity before all things! He would arrange a marriage for me with one of those little women whom all Paris knows, a _girl of marble_, monsieur; when I say _marble_, I use a theatrical form of expression--do you understand?”
”Faith, no!”
”I am not surprised.”
While these two gentlemen indulged in their recriminations and reflections, far from flattering to the business agent, the latter, finding that his slippers did not come, and being averse to standing on the floor in his stockings, decided to get down on his hands so that he might more easily look under the furniture and find that indispensable portion of his costume. His position, as he crawled around his room on all fours, was ill adapted to restore the confidence of the persons whom the sight of his disguise had so exasperated. Monsieur Beaub.i.+.c.hon therefore wrathfully jammed his hat over his eyes, crying:
”Observe, monsieur, observe the results of dissipation! A man who should be as serious as the law itself, is obliged to crawl around his room on all fours, in search of objects which should be at his hand!--I go, and never in my life will I set foot inside this office! Keep your marriageable women, monsieur, or marry them to your clients--this professor of bookkeeping will not endorse them. Good-day!”
”I follow your lead, monsieur; I'll keep my power of attorney and try to find a business agent who won't fling yellow boots in my face.
Good-day!”
”Go to the devil! and leave me in peace! for I'm sick of you both!”
retorted Chamoureau; and, weary of his unsuccessful search, he sat on the floor in the middle of the room. But at that moment the servant returned with a victorious air, holding the slippers in her hand.
”They were in the sideboard, monsieur,” she cried; ”you must have been very absent-minded to put 'em there.”
X
AGATHE AND HONORINE
Chamoureau thrust his feet into his slippers, then ran to his office, which was also his bedroom, and made haste to divest himself of his Spanish costume, saying to himself:
”That infernal disguise has cost me dear! it has already caused me to lose two clients, and I shall have to grease my concierge's paw to keep from telling all over the neighborhood that I came home this morning in Carnival costume after pa.s.sing the night away from the house!--And then he'll promise not to talk, and he'll tell everybody! Anyway, all the neighbors saw me--the fruitwoman and the grocer.--Ah! this will be a very bad thing for my business.--That was a vile trick for you to play on me, Freluchon! Still, it is possible that he didn't do it purposely.
In his Pompadour's company, he probably forgot that he had his key in his pocket. Now I have got to send all this stuff back to the costumer; another messenger to pay! Gad! I spent a lot of money last night!”
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