Part 38 (1/2)

I knew Russell was in the house. Id been hearing echoes of his voice this last half hour.

Taking a deep breath and wis.h.i.+ng more than ever for the comforting smell of warm ginger biscuits, I made my way downstairs. At Mrs Crisps request, I inspected the dining-room. It was never going to be beautiful, but the table was nicely laid, the old carpet hoovered, and most of the chairs matched.

The first guests were Andrew and Tanya, a good half an hour early; at Russells request, I suspected. Once they were inside and welcomed with a drink, the master of the house appeared, ignored me, and went to stand with Tanya at the other end of the rom. When Andrew came to stand close by, Mrs Crisp, clear-eyed this evening, left me and drifted back into the kitchen.

Next up were Daniel and Francesca. Francesca ignored Russell, turning a shoulder very pointedly. I wondered what he thought about this very public rejection by the former love of his life. Battle lines were being drawn up. Andrew and Daniel chatted aimlessly. I stared into the fire and ignored the drink waiting for me. I know Russell was down the other end of the room, out of reach, but I wasnt taking any chances. The further away he was, the safer Id be.

Finally, Aunt Julia and Uncle Richard arrived. Soberly dressed and stern-faced. Mrs Crisp got us lined up and marched into the dining-room.

I had no idea what, if anything, was going to happen that night. I had no idea who, if anyone, was on my side.

Russell began to fill gla.s.ses. Everyone got one but me. Mrs Crisp took a gla.s.s, filled it from a bottle on the trolley, and pa.s.sed it to me with a warning frown.

'Your wine, Mrs Checkland.

I sipped and kept my face straight. It was water.

The implications of the separate gla.s.s and bottle were not lost on the others. I braced myself and wondered who would open the batting.

It was Aunt Julia. Of course it was. I just prayed Russell would keep his head down and his mouth shut.

'Oh, G.o.d, he said, loudly. 'Shes going to orate.

'You could at least try to remember the courtesy due to your guests, she said, angrily.

'Youre not my guests, he said, draining his gla.s.s and refilling it. 'You invited yourselves, remember? Feel free to leave anytime.

That reminded her why she was here. She turned to me, her face tight with anger. 'Jenny ...

I cleared my throat and focused ...

'Before anyone goes any further, I said, interrupting her for the first and last time in my life. 'Im not ... going anywhere. Im staying here. I like it here. Im not sure how many plans that ruins, Russell, Francesca, Aunt Julia, but thats the ... bottom line. Im staying here.

I recklessly finished my water and Mrs Crisp, equally recklessly, filled it up again.

Aunt Julia drew breath.

'Never mind all that, said Francesca, homing in on the important issues like a heat-seeking missile sighting Krakatoa. 'Daniel, Ive been thinking about which part I shall play Mary Stuart or Elizabeth Tudor. I mean, obviously Elizabeth wins in the end and lives longer so its a bigger part, but Mary has a wonderful death scene. Tragic, but defiant. But its up to you, of course, darling. I prefer Elizabeth, but whichever you think best.

He didnt speak. The table, to a man, braced themselves.

'Actually, Francesca, I already have someone in mind for Elizabeth.

'Oh. Well, never mind. Mary it is, then.

'And for Mary, too.

'But ... you cant ... what about me?

Good old Franny straight to the heart of the matter.

Acutely embarra.s.sed, he s.h.i.+fted in his chair. 'I hardly think this is the place ...

'No, said Aunt Julia, dragging the conversation from one crisis back to the other. 'Jenny ...

Again, she got no further.

Mrs Crisp served the pte.

I received a separate portion. She stripped off the protective cling film and placed a blue plate in front of me. Everyone else had white. Everyone stared at my blue plate and then back at their own.

Aunt Julia pushed hers away with loathing. Francesca stared at hers as if it was about to go for her throat. Andrew, Tanya, and Daniel got stuck in. I waited. Things were happening here, and as usual, I didnt have a clue.

Francesca regrouped.

'So what part do I have? she said. 'There must be something for me. I have red hair.

That more qualifications for appearing in a major new TV drama might be required never seemed to enter her head.

Silence fell. I looked down the table at Russell, flanked by Aunt Julia and Tanya. I had Uncle Richard on one side and Andrew on the other. Francesca and Daniel occupied the neutral zone in the middle. I felt very alone.

Even as I looked, Russell caught my eye, stared expressionlessly for a moment, and then looked away. My stomach lurched.

'Jenny, my dear. Try and eat a little. Uncle Richard pushed my plate forward, smiling gently. His expression said, 'Well let them fight it out, shall we? Then well put our heads together and do the sensible thing. You and I together.

I remembered my last evening in his house, sitting at the kitchen table, cosy and warm while he waited for his milk to boil. Before all this started. I could have cried my eyes out. Cried for all the opportunities missed. Cried for everything that had gone wrong.

'Leave her alone, said Russell, harshly.

For the third time, Aunt Julia said, 'Jenny ...

'Yes, Aunt Julia? Are you enjoying your pte? Mine is delicious.

'So, Jenny, said Daniel, weighing in again. In his own, but much more charming way, he was at least as single-minded as Francesca. It crossed my mind that she might have met her match. 'I was wondering if you might like to contribute. You know, ideas, suggestions, a bit of research. And youll get a credit. From an idea by Jenny Checkland. That sort of thing.

I wrenched my attention away from Russell and back to Daniel. I must have gaped at him, because he grinned and said, 'Just nod if its easier.

I did. I supposed this must be what real life is like. Down one minute, up the next. Never quite sure if its the best or the worst evening of your life.

'Daniel, dear, you mustnt forget that Jenny is recovering from a serious accident. She must regain her strength first. Perhaps after a few months careful rest in our home ...

Did no one ever listen to me?

'Thats very kind of you, but this is my home. Im staying here. I looked at Russell. 'Unless you want me to go.

He said, neutrally, 'Its your decision.

'Thats settled, then.

Although, of course, it wasnt.