Part 37 (1/2)

He pushed my legs apart with his knee, whispered, 'If youre not sure then you have to say now, because in a moment, Im going to be unstoppable. Like a runaway train.

'Thats my Russell the little engine that could.

I could see laughter in his eyes. 'One day we must talk about inappropriate humour.

'We could do it now, if you like.

'Believe me, wife, in ten seconds, you wont be able to talk at all, and this time, for all the right reasons.

He knew what this moment meant. And not just for me. I could feel him, wound as tight as a drum.

'Ready?

'Yes, yes.

His mouth came down on mine. All my senses slid sideways in antic.i.p.ation. I could feel him nudging against me. I stood on the brink ...

Kevin knocked at the door.

'Mr Checkland?

Everything stopped dead.

Russell uttered a milk-curdling curse and then said, in a commendably normal voice. 'What is it, Kevin. Im quite busy in here.

'Mrs Kingdom is here.

'What? Dont just stand there. You know the drill. Lock the doors. Turn out the lights. Everyone on the floor under the kitchen table and pretend were out.

A pause.

'Good afternoon, Russell, said Aunt Julia on the other side of the door.

I try to be a good wife. Sadly ...

I convulsed, curling into a tight ball, hands over my face, shaking with stifled laughter.

Having ascertained that no help whatsoever could be expected from the wife of his bosom, Russell sighed and let his head hang for a moment.

'Good afternoon, Julia.

'There is no need for any special effort from you, Russell. Its Jenny weve come to see. Where is she?

Underneath her husband was the answer to that one. I waited with interest to see would he would say.

'Shes lying down, Julia.

True enough.

'Nevertheless ... and she was using her special voice.

He sighed again and rolled off me. The afternoon felt suddenly chilly.

'Kevin, take Mrs Kingdom downstairs, please. Ill see if Jennys up to receiving visitors.

'Thank you, Russell. And to make things easier for everyone, I shall not depart until I have seen her. I think we both know what that means.

Their footsteps retreated down the stairs.

Russell sighed heavily. 'Sorry, Jenny. Theres something about knowing shes only ten feet away ... Stop laughing and get your clothes on.

Its much more embarra.s.sing putting your clothes back on again. He wiped away a few charcoal smudges from some surprising places and eventually, I was fit for inspection.

He seemed distracted. He was certainly thinking about something else and I was just in time to stop him going downstairs with his T-s.h.i.+rt inside out and back to front.

He paused at the top of the stairs and turned to me as if to say something. I always remember that moment. Whatever it was never got said. He grasped my wrist and we made our way downstairs. And yes, Francesca was there too, because things just werent bad enough without her. She looked tall and stunning. I did not have that just-ravished glow. I had no idea what was about to happen. Id like to say some sort of instinct warned me, but it didnt. I had no idea my world was about to end.

Russell sat me down and wandered off into the kitchen.

Aunt Julia, as usual, wasted no time. 'Jenny, I want you to pack a bag and come back with me, please. Francesca will help.

This was obviously news to Francesca who looked less than delighted about the packing, I a.s.sumed, not me leaving Russell.

'No, thank you, Aunt Julia. Im fine here.

'How can you say that? I told you that animal was dangerous. I told you something like this would happen. Jenny, youve been hospitalised.

Oh G.o.d, she was starting to talk in italics. That was never good. I tried to think of something soothing. Not that I was sure Id be able to get it out.

It didnt matter. Russell returned and added his contribution to the discussion.

'Maybe you should think about it, Jenny. Im sick to death of your family turning up and b.i.t.c.hing every time you break a fingernail. Im trying to work here, and Im sick of the sight and sound of them.

That brought the conversation to an emergency halt and while everyone was working out an appropriate response, the telephone rang and Mrs Crisp wheeled in a proper tea trolley. Cups, saucers, sugar tongs, the lot.

Russell went to help her. 'Jenny, can you get the phone?

Aunt Julia made a supreme effort to speak calmly. 'Jenny finds it difficult to speak on the telephone.

'Speak into the end with the holes, wife.

I pulled a face which hurt lifted the phone, took a deep breath and said, 'h.e.l.lo?

Daniel Palmer said, 'Oh good, its you, Jenny.

I managed, 'h.e.l.lo, Daniel, and felt quite proud.