Part 7 (2/2)

'Well done.

'What have you been doing? What on earth do you think youve been doing? What have you been doing to make that disgusting man think ?

'Thats enough, Julia. Please sit down and calm yourself. Until we hear what Jenny has to say this may be no more than a storm in a tea cup. Now, Jenny, he continued kindly, 'I think you must know what this is about.

Kind or not, I still hadnt been asked to sit down. I was standing on the rug like a naughty schoolgirl and I was becoming a little angry.

'Good for you, but use it, dont waste it.

I raised my eyebrows at Uncle Richard. I would make him say it.

He coughed quietly. 'This morning I had a visit from Russell Checkland. He seems to be under the impression that you have agreed to marry him and visited my office to inform me of that fact. Is this actually true?

I took a breath, but Aunt Julia burst in from the other side of the room.

'Of course its not true, Richard. How could it be? I cant believe you didnt throw him out of your office.

'Well, hes quite a large young man and he was perfectly polite about it. And its really not good for business for clients to see people pitched, w.i.l.l.y-nilly from our premises. Besides, as you can imagine, I questioned him closely and he was very definite. He has proposed marriage to our niece and she has accepted him.

She turned to me. 'Say this isnt true. Tell us hes lying.

Since I couldnt do any such thing, I remained silent.

'Do I take it, said Uncle Richard, 'that your silence means he is, in fact, telling the truth?

I took another breath, but Aunt Julia was off again. 'I dont care whether its true or not. Its nonsense. It will never happen. She doesnt know what shes doing and hes taken advantage of her. I want him prosecuted to the full extent of the law.

'My dear, he said, somewhat wearily. 'May I point out that we still dont know what were dealing with here, and until Jenny actually gets to tell us, we never will.

' Hold on theres a car. Yes, the hero has arrived. Better late than never, but thats a Checkland for you. And if he stopped off to buy more buckets on the way I think you might have a legitimate grievance.

In the distance, I heard the bell ring and Mrs Finchs voice at the door. A few seconds later, Russell walked in. He was tidily dressed although his tie was askew already and his hair beginning to escape the restraint of hair gel.

'h.e.l.lo, everyone, he said cheerily, apparently not noticing Defcon 1 in the drawing room, to say nothing of a traumatised fiancee rooted to the hearthrug.

'There you are, future wife. You look very pretty today. I brought you these. Give us a kiss then.

With these provocative words he handed me a bunch of roses and kissed me on the cheek. I seriously wondered if he was too self-absorbed even to notice the atmosphere, but Id misjudged him. He took my hand, squeezed it tightly, and led me to the sofa, sitting beside me and letting go only to say, 'Good G.o.d, these cus.h.i.+ons are uncomfortable. Dont you dare buy any like these for our place, Jenny, and tossed a couple of Aunt Julias carefully chosen scatter cus.h.i.+ons to the floor.

As conciliatory openings went, this was a complete non-starter. Thomas moved closer.

' Theres no way out of this, Jenny. Hes going for broke here. Probably a good idea but youre going to need b.a.l.l.s of steel for this. Just hang in there. Well laugh about this one day.

I was never going to laugh again.

'So, he said cheerfully, 'what are we all talking about then?

Or maybe I would.

As you may suppose, said Uncle Richard, 'we are discussing Jennys alleged engagement to you.

'Discussing? Is that what its called now? I suspect its more accurate to say that Julia has been emoting to such an extent that Jenny hasnt been able to get a word in edgeways. Let me save everyone a great deal of time and effort. Your niece, thats Jenny here, has done me the enormous honour of agreeing to be my wife. Sorry Im a bit late, he said, turning to me. 'I stopped off at the Register Office. They were very helpful and gave me all sorts of stuff. Here, have a look through this lot, tell me what you want, choose a date, and well do the deed.

Aunt Julia was on her feet again. I turned cold and sweaty and for a moment thought I might throw up. She looked terrifying in her rage.

'Margaret Thatcher with added att.i.tude, said Thomas. 'Dont let any of this distress you. Youre going to be fine. He wont let anything happen to you and theres three of us and only two of them.

Russell still had a tight grip on my hand. His was warm, dry, and steady and I felt heat beginning to creep back into my body. He didnt look in the least bothered and I began to suspect he was actually enjoying himself.

'This so-called marriage will never take place, she declared. 'As her legal guardians, we withhold consent 'Shes twenty-eight, Julia, she doesnt need your consent. She can do as she pleases.

No, I couldnt, and hed obviously forgotten that. I tugged on his hand. He raised my hand to his lips and winked at me. No, he hadnt forgotten. 'Will you trust me?

I nodded, but only once, still not sure.

'Im so sorry, Mr Checkland. Her voice dripped icy politeness. 'Perhaps if youd had the courtesy to consult her guardians before upsetting my niece with this ridiculous proposal then we could have explained to you and without any distress to poor Jenny, just why exactly this marriage, any marriage, can never take place.

'Why do you keep calling her poor Jenny? he interrupted. 'She appears perfectly normal to me. Shes not deficient in any way or missing anything vital. Youre not, are you? he added in a loud whisper to me. 'Because if you are then this is the moment to tell me. I can take it, I promise you.

I shook my head. Once again, hed defused the moment.

'Now, anything else before we go?

He began to make all he preparations necessary for extricating oneself from one of Aunt Julias sofas.

'b.l.o.o.d.y h.e.l.l, Jenny, we may be here for life. That remark I made about the cus.h.i.+ons applies to the sofas as well.

'Really? said Aunt Julia nastily. 'Do tell us, Mr Checkland, with whose money will you be buying these new sofas?

Russell grinned at her.

Her face darkened alarmingly. Thomas snorted.

'Language, I said, in my head.

'Am I to understand, Russell, that you will be supporting your wife on her money alone? asked Uncle Richard, and I guessed this was the crunch. If he showed any weakness now, or tried to explain, or gloss over, or lie ...

'Well, mostly yes. Although theres the money from renting out grazing, of course. 50p per sheep, you know, he explained to Aunt Julia and I think we all enjoyed her expression of baffled confusion. 'And they improve the land no end. And its up to them to maintain the boundaries. Not the sheep, of course, the tenants. So as you can see, its a sweet deal.

Uncle Richard, in his own way, was a great deal more relentless than Aunt Julia.

'So would it be fair to state then, that you bring nothing at all to this unequal marriage and you are marrying my niece solely for her money? Your father would turn in his grave at such behaviour from a Checkland.

That really was the wrong thing to say.

Russell was on his feet in one fluid movement. I came up with him, ready to do what I could. His voice was far more icy than anything my aunt could never achieve. She was tall but he was taller. He looked down his nose at her, but spoke to Uncle Richard.

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