Part 3 (2/2)

I knew he was laughing at my uncle. I wondered if he was laughing at me, too.

'Of course, Im sure just one ...

'Will not set her on the road to eternal d.a.m.nation, finished Russell.

I stood up and he steadied me while pretending to shake hands. 'Nice to have met you again, Jenny.

I nodded, thankful for once that no one would be expecting me to say anything, but very aware of Uncle Richard radiating gentle disapproval. I smiled at Russell who winked at me and mouthed, 'Buckets! Dont forget. At least, thats what I think it was.

'Come along, Jenny. Its half past ten and your aunt is feeling tired.

'Better make that six hundred words, Russell called after me as I meekly followed my uncle out of the room. Thomas walked alongside, rather closer than usual, occasionally (and quite unnecessarily) having a quiet snort.

So that was my first party.

Shortly afterwards, I got my first proposal of marriage.

I woke really early the next morning, full of excitement. I had an appointment. I was meeting someone. I had a purpose.

'Its only half past six, said Thomas from the corner. ' Its not light yet and you didnt get to bed until nearly eleven last night. Youll wear yourself out.

'Yes, very funny.

'Make yourself a cup of tea and get back into bed.

So I did.

Halfway down the mug I began to have doubts.

'Do you think h.e.l.l forget?

'No.

'He was pretty drunk.

'Not when he was talking to you.

'Do you think h.e.l.l change his mind?

'No, a man always needs buckets.

'Suppose he cant come?

' Then he wont be there at 11.00 and youll be disappointed because, along with 99% of the human race at one time or another in their lives, youll have been stood up. Just like a real person.

'Do you still like him?

'Yes.

I drank some more tea, watching him through my eyelashes.

He sighed. 'Yes, I think he likes you too. Good grief, its like living with a teenager again.

I was ready to leave the house by half past nine. Thomas held out until ten, finally giving in, saying we could walk really slowly and window-shop on the way. So we walked really slowly and window-shopped on the way. It was raining, and I kept hitting people with my umbrella.

Eventually, he agreed it probably was best just to go and wait at the post office. 'Before you blind someone.

We waited an anxious fifteen minutes. 'Hes not coming, I said.

' Its only just coming up to eleven. Hes a single man with a hangover looking for a parking s.p.a.ce. Well be lucky to see him at all before noon. Just relax.

So we stood on the steps and watched people skitter by in the rain. At only a few minutes past eleven, someone tooted. Russell Checkland solved his parking problems by simply stopping wherever he wanted to be and waiting for people to go to him.

I threaded my way through parked cars and he leaned over and opened the door for me.

'Umbrella, reminded Thomas, guessing correctly that sensible thinking had taken the morning off. I wrestled away while a cacophony of horns built up and the ma.s.sed rank of Mrs Pargeter, our Traffic Warden, bore down upon us.

Fl.u.s.tered and wet, I fell into his old Land Rover. It smelled very odd and one of those pine-scented fir trees hanging lop-sided from the mirror had long since given up.

'Good morning, he said, pulling out into traffic to a fresh barrage of tooting. 'Nasty day. Did you get into much trouble last night?

I shook my head. Id slipped away as soon as we got home and I think both Aunt Julia and Uncle Richard were so relieved not to have to dust off their parenting skills that they let me go.

'Ask him how he is, said Thomas. 'Remember your manners.

'How are you?

'Absolutely fine. Slept like a log. Feel great. Jennies to pick up. Buckets to buy.

'Why?

Thank G.o.d he understood verbal shorthand and that he could chat enough for both of us.

'For the roof. It leaks on the north side. My father did most of the roof a couple of years ago and he left that side because it wasnt too bad but now it is. So, buckets.

'Can it be fixed?

'Easily, if you happen to have thousands of pounds. I dont, so a quick trip to the hardware store and a cost of about thirty quid instead. Clever, eh?

I nodded and we splashed into the car park. Id never been to one of these places before. Im pretty certain Uncle Richard hadnt either and Im d.a.m.n sure Aunt Julia never had. I tried to imagine Francesca in something white and gauzy wafting up and down the aisles buying grout and emulsion and failed. Really failed.

'This way, said Russell, striding off and I followed on behind.

Thomas was full of it. ' Wow! Look at this. Whats that? Good grief, why have we never been here before? This place is magic. Whats that for?

We found the buckets. Plastic and multi-coloured.

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