2 Kami-sama, Y U Do Dis? (1/2)

Diesel woke up one day, his memories fuzzy as to what happened. The last thing he remembered was that he had been driving to his favorite restaurant, which had finally opened again after the world had essentially gone mad from disease.

”Damn. And I was craving the area's spiciest Drunken Noodle from my favorite Thai place…”

He smacked his lips…or rather, he tried to. He could feel no motion from his mouth nor tongue wiggling where there should have been. He moved his hand to his mouth to feel for some anomaly, but he noticed that no appendage moved either.

”What?” A sound leaked out from him. Words seemed to be accompanied by a loud, mechanical rumbling.

What was that racket? And why did it sound so close?

He looked around the area with wonder. The space was dark, making it difficult to tell where he had ended up. First of all, he needed to figure out his surroundings.

”Gotta find a light before anything else…” Suddenly, two bright lights shone in front of him, illuminating the ground. Diesel briefly wondered where they came from before noticing something strange about them. It appeared to be coming from behind him.

Trying to turn around, Diesel found himself encumbered like he had been stuck to the ground. He felt no signs of his legs moving, but strangely, he watched as the ground shifted slightly back and forth. He was definitely moving, but in a limited fashion.

Just what the hell was going on? He had been feeling unlike himself this entire time. Spotting a metallic surface in front of him, he scooted forward to take a look, hoping that its reflective coating would tell him what his current state was.

But all he could see were two glaring lights being reflected as he crept closer. The glare drowned out the rest of the reflection, so he continued move closer and closer, until he was right up against the shiny wall.

However, what greeted him was merely the image of a truck's front end. Puzzled, Diesel tried to move away, only to see the image respond in kind. After several cycles of that, there was no longer any doubt in his mind.

He, Diesel, was that truck!

The shock of that realization stirred the memories in his head, giving him a replay of what had happened prior.

He had been on his way for lunch. Crossing through an intersection, a sudden skidding of tires was all he heard before a strong impact shook his entire body and sent him into the darkness.

The next thing he knew, he woke up in a dark, vast area. Willing himself to get up, it was like his body floated on command. Subconsciously, he started gliding towards a bright column of light, the only thing in this otherwise empty expanse.

A voice called to him, in a language that he didn't comprehend, but somehow, he knew. The voice had stated, ”Welcome to the Afterlife.”

”NANI?!” Diesel cried in reflex. He had the tendency to spew out broken Japanese, a habit from his persona as an American otaku.

The light flickered for a few moments, as if registering what he had said. Afterwards, it shifted to a bluish tint in color.

”Ahh, Nihongo ka? Jaa, Kami-sama no deban da.” (Ahh, Japanese? Then, it's Kama-sama's turn.)

With a bright flare, the column of light morphed into the giant form of an old Asian man, one that would've felt at home sipping tea in front of a shogi board or something. He barely gave a glance at Diesel before looking down at a paper. Even though it had a god-like presence, a look of weariness dotted his brow. An exhausted sigh escaped his lips as he scanned the paper for information. All Diesel could do was stand nervously like he was being sized up for who knows what.

”Nanda? Diesel?...Diesel…kuruma?” The god, who Diesel guessed was referred to as 'Kami-sama' brought a hand to his head as if scratching it in confusion. Suddenly, Kami-sama shrugged and threw the paper away before swirling a finger in the air.

Wisps of magic power floated down and swirled around Diesel.

It was moments after that, Diesel awoke to this situation, stuck in the body of a semi-truck.

He, a flesh and blood human, had been turned into a freaking truck! He wanted to cry at the thought. Surprisingly, something in his metallic body did respond, but it had just been the windshield sprayers. Still, it made his vision blurry, so he put a stop to that.

This felt very, very wrong. How the hell did he end up like this?! And why a truck? With a name like Diesel, he had been teased endlessly and compared to a certain bald movie star that liked to go fast.

If this had been Kami-sama's idea of a joke, then he might as well have gone all the way and turned him into 'Van Diesel'.

Diesel mentally shook his head. Since he technically didn't have a head, it appeared as if the front end did a little jiggle.

What would he do now? How does one even live as a truck? How does living as something inanimate even work? An endless sea of questions plagued his mind as human reasoning refused to cope with the situation that he had been thrust into.

Would he just sit here until a driver came along?

Actually, no. He could move himself. He did so before.

Then, was there an exit so that he could get out of wherever he was? The very least he could do was figure out where he had ended up.

Willing himself to go forward, the rumbling of his engine grew, and he slowly rolled forward with his tires. Diesel stopped minding all of these weird details and focused on looking for a way out. After making a few twists and turns, a light could be seen in the distance.

Seeing this glimmer of hope, Diesel revved his engine and accelerated for it. As he passed through the initial beam of light trickling into the dark area, his vision adjusted to the bright surroundings to find out that…there was nothing. An empty white space laid out as far as the eye could see – this was literally all that surrounded the building that he had come out of.