Vol 1 Chapter 1 (1/2)
Aladdin's Oil Lamp
”Congratulations, master!”
Bong! A big bang followed and all kinds of ribbons and pieces of paper in different colours exploded in the small toilet stall
Still surprised, I liftedball on top of ratulations and a few innocent-looking pigeons standing beside the white wall in front of me
I confirht about itthere was so aard
”Congratulations for being the ten-thousandth user of this toilet!”
What? I loweredthe colourful ribbons and pieces of paper was a commonplacehmm—toilet?
”UmDid”
I believe speaking to a toilet should be very stupid
”youjust talk?”
”Yes Master”
The white object at my feet really replied to what I said
”UmWait What did you call me?”
”Master I call you master”
The voice of the toilet was a childish sound roughly between male and female
”In this time when I'm awake, you're my master”
”” I stood straight on the floor, thinking of what to say This was the first time that soe reason, I was completely unhappy that I was called 'master' by a toilet
”Oh”
So I decided to follow the regular procedures: clean the things I had to, wear the clothes I had to, stand up, flush the toilet, and leave this toilet stall which was filled with pieces of paper and ribbons When I closed the door, the pigeons on top were frightened by the sound of the closing door and flew out of the washroom
”Insufficient sleep indeed will adversely affect my body!”
I sighed, walked in front of the sink to wash my hands, and prepared to return to my classroom for the lesson
”Master! Master! Where are you going?”
””
I thought over it for a while and decided to say nothing and pushed the door to leave
At the instant I pushed the door, everything around ed utterly! As if fallen into a fairy tale, an Arabian palace with ss around it was in front of me all of a sudden I looked around and foundwas made with tents and wood People affluently passed by me There was a man with his head wrapped in white cloth and thiskers at each side of his face standing at the stall nearest toover the price of a carpet with the stallman
I began to feel dizzy
No I must keep calm! Maybe normal people would be freaked out because of this, but to uy who has watched countless ani is just so common Generally, if this wasn't a 'parallel world', it should be 'going to the past' or 'going to the last life'; otherwise, it was a 'virtual world'! Be it any of the similar stories for this should be easy, and I could just follohat the protagonists did in these stories to decide what I should do
As I was pondering, a sound came out of nowhere
”At a tio”
I furrowed my eyebrow and looked everywhere for the voice, but I couldn't However, I knew this was still the voice of the 'toilet'
”There was a s man called Aladdin who lives in idleness When he was small”
The things aroundfrom the other side of the marketplace
”Hey! Wait! What is this?”
I lifted h I wasn't sure whether the voice came from the sky
”There was also an evil sorcerer called Gargamel[1]”
”Hey! Stop!”
I bellowed as I kicked on the guy besidepierced through that guy's body, touching nothing at all
—
Thisaround me was virtual
”Garga a story!” The toilet replied to me at last
”Isn't this the Arabian Nights? Everyone should have seen it when they're s this to me now? I'm more than clear on every part of the story! Fineexcept the part about Gargamel”
”I' where the story came from to let you, master, understand”
The toilet said innocently
I knew talking to a toilet was stupid, but I couldn't stop talking with him After all, I had no way to find my classroom in an Arabian marketplace
”What is the relationshi+p between the Arabian nights andin the toilet for the ten-thousandth time?”
”I said you're the ten-thousandth user of this toilet and not the one who pooped here for the ten-thousandth tiar word, master”
”Whatever” Criticized by a toilet for 'using vulgar words', this wasn't so proud of
”I thinkmaster, you've heard of what happened in the story, so let's skip through the part where the old woot the wonderful oil laht together, giving birth to a lot of kids, and jump directly to the part where Aladdin distributed his assets to his family”
”Wait, what happened with the big peach? AlsoYou can leave the part of the wedding night”
I said it a bit eed everything around ain and led me to another scene
It was a big room hite walls An old man with tousled white hair lay on the bed, surrounded by about twenty people, children and adults included One could tell from the decorations in the roo on a as a beautiful lady in royal clothes who sat fors
”Dad!” ”Gras kid!” ”Dad!” ”Waa” ”Haha, you're beaten by e I had never heard of, but the toilet attentively translated every word they said in synch, trying to say words according to thein a voice louder than theh it was a bit weird at times, it was still understandable
”My ten childrenFrom the moment your mother left the world, I had actually been dead already” The oldsaid that, he looked up to the painting of the lady hung on the wall
”I've experienced thrilling and exhilarating adventures in ot the wealth everyone enviedI haven't lived in vain”
Walking up to the bed, I recognized him He was the 'Aladdin' in the marketplace I first saw, but he was forty to fifty years older I assumed this should have been the moment where Aladdin left the world, however, I had never read this part in the story ”My children, you know I have two valuables—the oil la” Everyone held his or her breath after he said this The once buzzy roo the kid as just chopped on the head by his mum
”I've already coovern my other assets and will distribute them evenly to each and every one of you, entle near the bed He then smiled to him
I couldn't help but to mumble,
”Amoeba? What name is this? A protist?”
”Please don't interrupt the story”
The toilet added while translating He tried to speak in a voice of the wan oldscene, however, totally humorous
”Only the oil la could I not evenly distribute to you I know they are very powerful, especially the lamp Anyone who has it is able to construct or destroy a whole country So I must consider prudently who is the most suitable to inherit them”
The old hed and looked at his children around him
”What should I do?”
The air in the roo pin could be heard
”Dong—Dong—Dong—”
A familiar bell sound came from top of my head in such a nervous at or the end of the lesson This meant that my lunch recess had ended Honestly, if it wasn't this bell I otten that I was still in school
”May 'MrA' be a bit faster? My lunch recess has ended! I have to get back to my lesson in a moment”
I couldn't help but to complain to the sick old man on the bed Of course, he couldn't, however, hear me”
”Besides, what does this has to do witha toilet prize!”
”Dad! I' man finally burst out—of course his words was still translated by the toilet
”I'!”
”Dad! Didn't you know that when brother was a law officer he once received a present from others under the table? He shouldn't be the one to inherit the oil lamp”
Another young man burst out
”I haven't received any presents while I was a harbour tax collector I followed the rules every tiet some information from me, I would just say 'thanks for your opinion'”
”Both of you have your point However, I think such a valuable belonging should be kept by me, the eldest one, who has the most experience in this society”
”I' should not be kept by businessman or officers but those who have no interest in money or power—ers there I especially have to rely on the power of the oil la man with dusky skin said and stared at the other brothers after that
I knew this kind of story Usually when the father decides who the successor is the brothers will fight against each other and the last one who gets it would be a little kid who doesn't joins the fight The unpalatable truth was, everyone who looked possible to be the successor joined the debate
The old hed, and commenced
”Attention please Yijun Chen, Yijun Chen from class 2Cplease come to the school office now”
”This broadcast came so coincident” I could now understand why it was so painful to be interrupted while watching a movie
”I knew from the very start you would start such debates”
The old ht and weak voice,
”My children! You are right, but I can't s that involve both personal favours and working out the appropriate choice I wish every one of you could benefit from the power and escape hazards; on the other hand I'm worried this poould become too powerful and cause any one of you and your children to have evil thoughts like hurting others”
Every one else in the roo what bad manners they had just shown
”So, I 've come up with a solution”
The old man took the oil la on his finger
Two billows of siven the breath of life, they were first clouded together, but then separated into two billows and gradually becoer, brawny one had a dusky skin, a goatee, and large round eyes His face looked a bit like the stone lions you see in front of teenie The sirl with shi+ny black hair She enie
”Master, what do you command?”
Both of the genies bowed towards the old ether
The old man narrowed his eyes and said to them with a smile,
”I miss the two of you very muchI've never called forth you ever since I found out that your powers are unable to reincarnate my ho has passed away”
The two genies lifted their heads and nodded politely towards the old man
Everyone in the rooenies with all their concentration No one was brave enough to make a sound in this atmosphere
That is, except for the broadcast—
”Attention please! Yijun Chen from class 2C! I only asked Yijun Chen from class 2C to coo back to your classroom I only need Yijun Chen from class 2C to come here!”
Though the stiff and nervous atmosphere of the scene was devastated, the story had to continue After all those talk, the old enies—the last wish he made in his life
”Oil laenie! Please separate your power into ten equal parts and let each of et their share of the power of the oil laet a share of my love”
Bong! A white light followed the loud voice The oil lamp suddenly vanished and became the mini versions of oil lamps on the hands of the children in the room
”AhUm”
Like the children of Aladdin, I was shocked by the oldabout this in any storybook
”As such, the oil lamp was inherited by the children of Aladdin and their children over hundreds of thousands of years, beco smaller and smaller versions of 'mini oil lamp' or 'other coed because of insufficient power gained frootten”
As the toilet continued, the virtual display around me disappeared, and I had come back to the toilet stall in the school
”Wait, what are 'other commodities'?”
I spotted the key word the toilet used
”In these hundreds of thousands of years, a lot of successors changed their oil las to suit themselves for convenience” The toilet's tone becae as he continued,
”One of the oil lamps became a candle because the owner suddenly wanted to have a candlelight dinner with his girlfriend Another oil lalasses because the oanted to see the crossword puzzle on a newspaper Some others became spoons, bowls, or even chopsticks because the oanted to use them so badly”
””
The toilet stagnated for a long while before replying to what I said
”Cough! In short”
The toilet cleared his 'throat'—thissound in the toilet—(let's continue)
”In these hundreds of thousands of years, our powers have becoy And because our appearances have changed so y became a lot different For exa ten thousand users to use it to eat The one who becanited ten thousand times by different users As for me, who became the toilet”
”have to wait until one poops here for ten thousand tiar word' to continue what the toilet said
”Yes And every tiy Ten thousand tiy On the other hand, the use of the energy depends on what one wants to do For exa the protective shi+eld for a minute costs one unit Food made costs ten units for each dish”
”I would never want to wish to a toilet to 'make food'”
Honestly, thinking of that scene was enough to disgust me
”A virtual projection costs five thousand units each time”
”W-Waitso I have used half of the energy stored already?” I began to feel dizzy
”Just because I watched that dumb story?”
The toilet's tone was very steady
”Yes, master There was once an oanted to repeat that and used all of the energy After that, I beca for another user to come”
”Ury, a few students entered the toilet and glanced atby To be honest, if I were to see so to hiht that his or her brain had gone wrong At last, I hurried to the sink to wash h all the problems with the toilet
On the other side of the hteen-year-old Yeah That's s to a side and walked out of the washroom, and headed to the classroom
”Master! Master!” I left the sounds of the toilet behind my back, but before I left, I intentionally looked at how the other students in the toilet looked They seeuessed this meant that only the oil lampthe owner of the toilet could hear the voice of the toilet
The first lesson in the afternoon was the English quiz Cos that abruptly happened, I couldn't put s didn't really happen, I still ht not have had the mind to do the quiz
Looking at each one of the English letters that I knew, but totally unrecognisable when sequenced in different co to ht have soeniehenie (honestly I don't really want to use this phrase) to help lish quiz?”
So I fixed my eyes towards the answer sheet and closed them I then clasped my hands and prayed discreetly,