Part 11 (2/2)

I couldn't take this bulls.h.i.+t anymore. One minute he was pus.h.i.+ng me away and just as fast he was pulling me back to him. s.h.i.+t. Even right now he was saying these beautiful words and all the while he was walking away from me. But I couldn't let the words I love you leave my head. n.o.body had ever said those words to me before. Until now.

”Maddox Tyler Mitch.e.l.l don't you dare say things like that to me if you don't mean it.” He sat down on a stool and slammed his fist on the breakfast bar. For a second I thought the top was going to crack from just how hard he slammed his fist against it. ”NOW WHY THE h.e.l.l NOT? IT'S THE G.o.dd.a.m.n MOTHERf.u.c.kING TRUTH!” I thought I had calmed him down, but apparently not.

But I was so extremely tired of this bulls.h.i.+t. We had been playing this back and forth game for so long and I didn't think I could take it any longer. Someone can only drag you around for so long and then you get tired. So extremely tired of being dragged around in the horses.h.i.+t that you just cut ties with them. This was my final straw and I was holding the scissors prepared to cut my ties with him. So I decided to h.e.l.l with it. I decided to just put all of my feelings out there and see where it took me. Without taking my eyes off him I said with as much conviction as possible, ”Because you are the one person in this f.u.c.ked up world I actually believe and because you're starting to steal my heart.”

I think he was just as shocked as I was to hear those words fall from my mouth, but just as fast he shook his head back and forth and started chuckling. Then he stopped, looked me straight in the eyes and turned completely serious. ”Well good. It's about d.a.m.n time, Isabelle because you stole my heart months ago.” I didn't have time to think, let alone react, because he grabbed me and crushed his mouth to mine. He lifted me up onto the breakfast bar without breaking the kiss and I wrapped my arms and legs around him. He was holding me as if I was going to disappear at any moment. As if what was happening between us right now wasn't real. I could relate.

Before I knew it I was collapsing onto his bed. Then I realized it was my bed. I looked up into his eyes with a curious look. It was almost as if he could read my mind because he said, ”That's where all the other girls were. I don't want that for you. You deserve so much better than that. Than me.”

In a weird way I found that romantic. I didn't want to think about the others. What mattered was that right now it was me and Maddox. No one else mattered in my opinion. I put my hands to the bottom of his s.h.i.+rt and I felt him jerk against me.

He put his hands over mine to stop me. ”Are you sure Isabelle? Because I can wait as long as you need.” I looked up into his eyes. Eyes that were filled with longing and desire. I felt the b.u.t.terflies fluttering in my stomach and the wetness pulling between my legs. I thought we were over months ago, but I was wrong. We had never really been apart and I thought back to Christmas when I thought I was ready to have s.e.x with Maddox. I knew it would have been amazing but I would have missed out on the words he'd just said and in that moment I knew. ”Maybe you can wait but I can't. Please Maddox. Make love to me.”

That's all it took because Maddox crushed his mouth to mine and pushed his tongue in. He slowly pushed me back onto the bed and I could feel just how badly he wanted me through his sweat pants. That turned my light switch on and I went crazy. s.e.x crazy. I pushed him off me so he was lying on his back and I put a leg over him so I was straddling him. I went crazy on his mouth and then I started to move down his body.

I stopped at his nipple rings and started to flick one with my tongue while one of my hands went in his sweatpants and took a hold of him. I started to move my hand up and down and started to swirl my tongue around his nipple. ”Sweetheart, you really don't have to do th - Ah f.u.c.k!” Just before he was about to finish in my hands he grabbed a hold of me by the hips and pulled me up so we were at eye level. In this deep s.e.xy voice he said, ”Isabelle, when I come it's going to be inside you.”

f.u.c.k that's hot!

Within a second he jumped off the bed and walked over to his room. I heard some banging around and the next thing I knew he was standing in my doorway leaning against it with his arms crossed over his bare chiseled chest. I thought for a moment he was going to change his mind and let me down. Again. But he smiled at me and said, ”You're beautiful Isabelle.”

My heart swelled and we stared at one another for a few moments and then Maddox started to walk over to the bed. My bed. I was sitting up on my elbow drinking him in. He stopped right in front of me pus.h.i.+ng his sweatpants down his body leaving his boxers on. He was breathtaking. I sat up and let my legs dangle on either side of him. He rested his hands at the middle point of my thighs and waited. It was almost as if he wanted to see what I was going to do.

He was giving me permission to do what I wanted. So I touched him. I touched his abs. His nipple rings. His arms which were covered with tattoos. His face. I touched his lips. His dimples. His nose. His ears. I was going to memorize his entire body so I would never forget tonight and how he felt up against me. In me.

I could feel Maddox's eyes on me the whole time I touched him and could feel his breath against my face. I didn't look in his eyes the entire time and then I cradled his face in mine and looked up at him. I was still in shock. Not because I was about to have s.e.x, but because it was going to be with Maddox.

I smiled up at him and pulled his head down to mine so he would kiss me. The kiss was like none we had ever had before. Most of our kisses were wild and crazy. But not this one. This one meant something so much more.

We could have kissed for five minutes or five hours and I would have never known the difference. Maddox started to kiss down my neck and his hands made their way to the bottom of my t-s.h.i.+rt. He pulled back to look into my eyes asking for my permission. I couldn't form words so I just nodded my head yes. He pulled the s.h.i.+rt up and over my head and then moved his hands to my back to unclasp my bra. His fingers never left my body when he took the bra off and let it fall to the floor.

”Lie down on the bed Isabelle.” I looked up into his eyes and they were filled with such hunger that I gulped and did as he said. My head hit the pillow and I turned to look up at him. He was looking down at me and smiling. He walked to the edge of the bed and his fingers started at my toes and he lightly grazed his way up to my stomach without taking his eyes off mine. It was almost as if he were drinking me in, memorizing me too. Memorizing my touch, my taste.

For a while he just stood there and a million thoughts were running through my mind. I felt like my heart was beating out of its chest and my lungs couldn't get enough oxygen. It felt like all of the air had escaped my bedroom and that I was living on borrowed time. Tick-tock. Tick-tock. I thought I was going to pa.s.s out or fall over dead. Then I looked up into Maddox's eyes and I felt like everything was going to be okay. That this huge weight had been lifted off of my shoulders. That for the first time in my life I could finally breathe and with his help I could get through anything. I just had one question for him to answer.

One question that I had literally been running away from. But at this moment, here in this room, I felt brave enough to finally ask the question I had been dying to know the answer to for months now.

I felt like it was a now or never moment, a pa.s.s or fail. I felt like in life we are given a test and this one was mine. That if I didn't ask the question I would suffocate and regret it for the rest of my life.

But now lying here I realized that to me it didn't matter what the answer was. What mattered to me was that I had been brave enough to finally ask it. That I had put my heart out on the line and that maybe, just maybe Maddox could show me that not everybody is like Cynthia. Just one question.

”What do you want from me Maddox?” Without taking his eyes off me he put his hand to my cheek and said, ”Everything Isabelle. Everything.” And then he was on the bed lying between my legs looking into my eyes and what I saw wasn't l.u.s.t, but love. Of course a tear escaped my eyes and he began to wipe it away.

He sat back on his knees and it looked like he had been run over by a truck. His chest was heaving up and down and he was breathing so fast. He lowered his head and I sat up and put my hand under his chin so he would look at me. I saw that his eyes were beginning to well up with tears. I put my hand to his cheek and asked him what was wrong. ”Isabelle, we don't have to do this. I don't want you to regret it. Regret me.” His voice was filled with so much sorrow. How could he possibly think that I didn't want him? At that moment I finally realized. I was deeply and irrevocably in love with Maddox Tyler Mitch.e.l.l. There was no one else for me because I was taken. Maddox was it and he always would be.

I put my hand to his heart and could feel it beating rapidly. ”I love you Maddox.” His heartbeat slowed down and was back to beating at a regular tempo and his breathing was back to normal as well. He bent his head and smiled at me. ”You have no idea how long I have waited to hear those words come from your beautiful lips.” And then he gave me the lightest kiss known to mankind. It was so sweet and yet so pa.s.sionate all at the same time.

He pushed me back so I was lying on the bed and then his hands were at the top of my shorts. He began to slide them down and I lifted my hips so they would come off more easily. I didn't realize that he had taken my panties off as well until they were at my knees. Maddox dropped both of them off the end of the bed and then he was up off the bed. He put his hands at the top of his boxers and slid them down never taking his eyes off of mine. He then turned and walked over to my dresser and grabbed the condom that he had put there earlier. He walked back over and climbed back on the bed kneeling between my legs. He put the wrapper to his teeth and ripped it open taking the condom out and sliding it over him.

I couldn't wait for the next time to put the condom on him.

He lay down on top of me and I could feel his head at my entrance. He put a hand on each side of my face and said, ”I'm going to try and go really slowly Isabelle.” I opened my legs up wider and wrapped them around him. He started to slide into me and I closed my eyes. The instant I closed my eyes he stopped and I opened my eyes. ”What's wrong Maddox?” He kissed my lips and said, ”I want you to look at me.” I nodded and he began to push into me further. I kept my eyes open but I winced when he got to a certain point. He immediately stopped. ”Are you ok?” I closed my eyes and started to take slow even breaths. After a few seconds, I opened my eyes and nodded Yes and then he took a deep breath and pushed all the way in.

After twenty years I had finally given my gift away, to Maddox and he had accepted it. I knew that with Maddox he would cherish it.

He let out a breath I didn't realize he was holding and then he started to suck and kiss my neck. He was letting me get used to his length and boy, did I need to get used to it. I felt full. More than full. Maddox made me feel full. But before long I was ready to move so I lifted my hips and heard Maddox hiss through his teeth. I thought maybe I hurt him but he said, ”Isabelle I'm about to come. You've got to warn me when you start to do that. Ok sweetheart?”

At first I thought it was a joke but I could see the seriousness in his face and hear it in his voice. I couldn't help giggling and then I nodded my head. I couldn't believe that I held so much power over this man and it really turned me on.

He quirked his eyebrows at me. ”Oh you think that's funny sweetheart?” He started to tickle me and it made me move against him harder which made him stop the tickle attack altogether. I put my hands to his face and whispered, ”Please Maddox.”

He started off slow and then he started to speed up and I met him thrust for thrust. There was sweat forming at the top of his forehead and I could feel sweat droplets on his lower back where my hands were. I started to close my eyes because I knew I was close and it was becoming too much to handle. Maddox started to slow down and I quickly opened my eyes. ”Keep your eyes open sweetheart.” He started to speed up again and before I knew it we were both coming together. I was pulsating around him and I knew from the look on his face and the way he said Isabelle that he was filling up his condom.

As good as it felt with him inside of me I started to wonder what it would feel like without the condom. Skin on skin. His skin in my skin. I wanted to know exactly what it would feel like when he came in me.

We didn't last long because of the antic.i.p.ation of us being together. Just before we both finished I whispered in his ear I love you.

Chapter 17.

I woke up the next morning and started to move around and s.h.i.+t was I sore. I didn't even know half of those muscles existed until last night. Then I remembered last night and how amazingly wonderful it was. I brushed my fingers against my lips and started to smile.

I started remembering the words.

Every touch.

Every taste.

Every noise.

I rolled over to the side and saw Maddox's head was propped up in his hand and he was watching me. He had this dazed look on his face and I wondered if the same memories were running through his mind. I wrapped my hands around him and kissed him. When I leaned back to look in his face his eyebrows were scrunched together and he was biting his lower lip.

I didn't understand what was going on. I thought he would pounce all over me but it was the exact opposite. He was treating me like a piece of gla.s.s and he was afraid he was going to break me. I cupped his cheek and began to move my thumb over his bottom lip. ”Maddox?”

He wrapped a hand around my wrist and kissed the inside of my hand. I saw him close his eyes and then he took a deep breath. Without looking at me he said, ”Do you regret what happened last night?”

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