Part 20 (2/2)
And now that I see thy goodness and faith, it breedeth in me great comfort that the good G.o.d hath not forsaken me: for this very morning, when I came from early ma.s.s and saw thee stand before the commandant's quarters, I did fancy that G.o.d had sent thee to me in shape of an angel to help me in my need.”
So I did comfort him as best I could, and secretly told him I had yet more money than those doubloons that he had seen; and that all was at his service. Therewith I also told him of Oliver's end, and how I had perforce avenged his death, which so enlivened his spirits that it also helped his body, in such wise that every day he grew better of his wounds.
BOOK V
_Chap. i._; HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS TURNED PALMER AND WENT ON A PILGRIMAGE WITH HERZBRUDER
Now Herzbruder being wholly restored and healed of his wounds, he told me in secret he had in his greatest need made a vow to go on a pilgrimage to Einsiedeln. And since in any case he was now so near to Switzerland, he would perform the same though he must beg his way thither. This was pleasant hearing for me: so I offered him my money and my company, yea, and would buy a couple of nags to do the journey upon, not indeed for the reason that religion urged me thereto, but rather to see the Confederates' country as the one land wherein sacred peace yet flourished. So I rejoiced much to have the opportunity to serve Herzbruder on such a journey, seeing that I loved him almost more than myself. Yet he refused both my help and my company with the excuse that his pilgrimage must be performed on foot and with peas in his shoes: and should I be in his company not only should I hinder him in his pious thoughts, but should also bring on myself great discomfort by reason of his slow going. All which he said to be rid of me, because he did scruple on so holy a journey to spend money that had been gained by robbery and murder: besides, he would not put me to too great expense, and said openly that I had already done more for him than I owed him or he could hope to repay: upon which we fell into a friendly dispute, which same was so pleasant a quarrel that I have never heard the like, for we talked of nothing but this, that each one said he had not yet done for his fellow so much as one friend should for another, nay, was yet far from making up for the benefits he had received. Yet all this would not move him to take me for a companion, till I perceived that he had a disgust both at Oliver's money and mine own G.o.dless life: therefore I made s.h.i.+ft with a lie and persuaded him that my intent to reform my life did move me to go to Einsiedeln: and should he hinder me from so good a work, and I thereupon should die, he should hardly answer for it: by which I persuaded him to suffer me to visit that holy place with him, especially since I (though 'twas all lies) made an appearance of great penitence for my wicked life, and moreover did persuade him I had laid on myself a penance to go to Einsiedeln on peas even as he. But this quarrel was scarce over ere we fell into another, for Herzbruder was too full of scruples: and hardly would he suffer me to use the commandant's pa.s.s, because 'twas made out for me to go to my regiment.
”How now!” said he, ”is it not our intent to better our lives and to go to Einsiedeln? And now see, in heaven's name wilt thou make a beginning with deceit and blind men's eyes with falsehood? 'He that denieth Me before the world him will I deny before My heavenly Father,' saith Christ. What faint-hearted cowards be we! If all Christ's martyrs and confessors had done the same there would be few saints in heaven. Let us go in G.o.d's name and under His protection whither our holy intent and desires lead us, and let G.o.d contrive for us the rest: for so will He bring us in safety where our souls shall find peace.” But when I set before him how man should not tempt G.o.d, but suit himself to the times, and use such means as could not be done without, and specially because to go on pilgrimage was an unwonted thing for the Soldatesca, so that if we revealed our purpose we should be accounted rather deserters than pilgrims, which might bring us great trouble and danger: and chiefly how the holy apostle St. Paul, to whom we could not compare ourselves, had wonderfully suited himself to the times and needs of this world, at the last he consented that I should get a pa.s.s to go to my regiment.
With this we pa.s.sed out of the town at the shutting of the gates, with a trusty guide, as we would go to Rotweil; but turned off short by a by-way and came the same night over the Switzers' boundary and next morning to a village, where we equipped ourselves with long black cloaks, pilgrims' staves, and rosaries, and sent our guide home with a good wage.
And here in comparison with other German lands the country seemed to me as strange as if I had been in Brazil or China. I saw how the people did trade and traffic in peace, how the stalls were full of cattle and the farmyards crowded with fowls, geese, and ducks, the roads were used in safety by travellers, and the inns were full of people making merry.
There was no fear of an enemy, no dread of plundering, and no terror of losing goods and life and limb; each man lived under his own vine and fig-tree, and that moreover (in comparison with other German lands) in joy and delight, so that I held this land for an earthly Paradise, though by nature it seemed rough as might be. So it came about that all along the road I did but gape at this and that, whereas Herzbruder was praying on his rosary, for which I earned many a reproof from him; for he would have it I should pray without ceasing, to which I could not accustom myself.
But at Zurich he found me out and told me the truth as tartly as might be. For having rested the night at Schaffhausen, where the peas did mightily gall my feet, and I fearing to walk upon them next day, I had them boiled and put into my shoes again, and so came happily to Zurich, while he found himself in sorry plight, and said to me, ”Brother, thou hast great favour of G.o.d, that notwithstanding the peas in thy shoes thou canst walk so well.” ”Yea,” said I, ”dear Herzbruder: but I did boil them, or I had not been able so far to walk upon them.”
”G.o.d-a-mercy!” says he, ”what hast done? Thou hadst better have put them out of thy shoes if thou didst but act a mockery with them. I fear me lest G.o.d punish thee and me alike. Take it not evil of me, brother, if I of brotherly love do tell thee in plain German what I have at heart, namely this, that I fear, unless thou dealest otherwise with G.o.d, thine eternal salvation standeth in jeopardy: I do a.s.sure thee, I love no man more than thee, yet I deny not that if thou betterest not thyself I must scruple to bear such love to thee further.” At which I was struck so dumb with fear that I could not at all recover myself, but freely confessed to him I had put the peas in my shoes not for piety but to please him, that he might take me with him on his journey.
”Ah, brother,” quoth he, ”I see thou art far from the way of salvation, peas or no peas: G.o.d give thee a better mind; for without such cannot our friends.h.i.+p endure.”
From that time forward I followed him sorrowfully as one going to the gallows; for my conscience began to smite me; and as I reflected on all manner of things, all the tricks I had played in my life did pa.s.s before mine eyes: and first I lamented that my lost innocence, that I had brought out from the forest and in the world had in so many ways forfeited; and what increased my trouble was this, that Herzbruder spake now but little with me, and looked not upon me save with sighs, so that it seemed to me as he were certain of my d.a.m.nation and lamented it.
_Chap. ii._: HOW SIMPLICISSIMUS, BEING TERRIFIED OF THE DEVIL, WAS CONVERTED
In such fas.h.i.+on we came even to Einsiedeln, and so into the church even as the priest was casting out an evil spirit: which was to me a new and strange sight, wherefore I left Herzbruder to kneel and pray as much as he listed and went off from curiosity to see such a spectacle. But hardly had I drawn nigh when the evil spirit cried out of the poor man, ”Oho! rascal, doth ill-luck send thee hither? I did think to find thee with Oliver in our h.e.l.lish abode when I should return, and now I see thou art to be found here. Thou adulterous, murderous wh.o.r.emonger, canst thou think to escape us? O ye priests, have naught to do with him: he is a worse hypocrite and liar than I: he doth but mock and make a jest of G.o.d and religion.” Thereupon the exorcist commanded the spirit to be silent, for none would believe him as being an arch-liar.
”Yes, yes,” he answered, ”ask this runagate monk's companion and he can well tell you that this atheist is not afraid to boil the peas upon which he vowed to travel hither.” Upon which I knew not whether I stood on my head or my heels, hearing all this and all men staring upon me: but the priest rebuked the spirit and bade him be silent: yet would not that day cast him out. In the meanwhile came Herzbruder, even as I looked for very terror more like a dead than a live man, and between hope and fear knew not what to be at. So he comforted me as best he could, a.s.suring the bystanders, and especially the good fathers, that in my life I had never been a monk, but certainly a soldier that perhaps might have done more evil than good: and added, the devil was a liar and had made the story of the peas much worse than it really was.
Yet was I so confounded in spirit that 'twas with me even as if I already felt the pains of h.e.l.l, so that the priests had much ado to comfort me: yea, they bade me go to confession and communion, but the spirit cried again out of the man possessed, ”Yes, yes: he will make a fine confession, that knoweth not even what confession is: and indeed what would ye have of him? for he is of a heretic mind and belongeth to us: yea, his parents were more of Anabaptists than Calvinists....” But at that the exorcist again commanded the spirit to hold his peace and said to him, ”So will it grieve thee the more if this poor lost sheep be s.n.a.t.c.hed out of thy jaws and gathered into the fold of Christ”: at which the spirit began to roar so fearfully that 'twas terrible to hear: yet in that grisly song I found my greatest comfort; for I thought if I could not again enjoy G.o.d's favour the devil would not take it so ill.
Now although I was then in no wise prepared for confession, and though in my lifetime it had never come into my thoughts, but I had always for mere shame feared it as the devil fears holy water, yet at that moment I felt in me such repentance for my sins and such a desire to do penance and to lead a better life that forthwith I asked for a confessor; at which sudden conversion and amendment of life Herzbruder rejoiced greatly; for he had perceived and well knew that so far I had belonged to no religion. Thereafter I openly professed myself of the Catholic Church, went to confession and to ma.s.s after absolution received, with all which I felt so light and easy at my heart that 'tis not to be expressed: and what is most marvellous is this, that the devil in the possessed man henceforward left me in peace, whereas before my confession and absolution he cast up against me certain knaveries I had committed, with such particularities as he had been ordained for naught else but to point out my sins: yet the hearers believed him not, as being a liar, especially since my honourable pilgrim's dress shewed me in another light.
In this gracious place we abode fourteen days, and there I thanked G.o.d for my conversion, and marked the miracles that were there done: all which did incite me to some shew of piety and G.o.dliness. Yet did the same last but as long as it might: for even as my conversion took its beginning, not from love of G.o.d but from dread and fear of d.a.m.nation, so did I by degrees become lukewarm and slothful, because I little by little forgot the terror that the Evil One had struck into me. So when we had sufficiently viewed the relics of the saints, the vestments, and other remarkable things of the abbey, we betook ourselves to Baden, there to spend the winter.
_Chap. iii._: HOW THE TWO FRIENDS SPENT THE WINTER