Part 8 (1/2)

”Um. Yeah.”

”Hey, I'm Sascha.” The mystery man identified himself, holding out his hand pleasantly.

”Josh.” I put my hand out for him to grab and shake. I expected him to say something like 'Oh, you're Josh. I've heard all about you.' or something stupid like that, trying to be cordial. But he really just hadn't heard of me. He had no idea.

”I met Sascha the other day after going to Shaw's. My bags buckled and my stuff fell all over Marlborough Street. He helped me carry all my food home.” Allison explained.

”Isn't that nice.” I tried to sound as sincere and unknowing as I could. ”Well isn't she lucky that you were there to rescue her.”

Allison was staring Nicole down so hard that I thought Nicole's skin might bruise, and I thought I saw her wince in pain.

”I'm Nicole.” She said hesitantly, sticking out her hand to Sascha before making her way over to her old friend turned sudden enemy.

”A pleasure.” Allison squeezed out tightly, completely devoid of cordiality.

The air was so tense that for a moment I thought ”Poor Sascha,” when really I had no sympathy for him whatsoever. The tension, thick like fog, made it difficult to breathe or speak, but somehow I decided to throw it out there. ”I met Nicole the other night at Our House.”

”How wonderful.” Alison lied.

”I love that place. I especially love that bartender who always wears that same s.h.i.+rt with the bolo. He's funny.” Sascha tried to chime in.

This guy really doesn't get it, does he? Maybe he just really doesn't want to have this ruin his evening. He must have finally caught on to the general intensity of the moment and retreated back into his own mouth to defend his fort. I don't think anyone knew what to do next. I was angry at Allison for going out with this guy. Allison was angry at me for being out with Nicole. Nicole was upset that Allison probably hated her now as well. And Sascha, well, who cared about him at that moment other than himself?

Should we talk about things more? I thought, but ultimately concluded that this was clearly not the time or place to have any serious discussion. It has been my experience that discussions when any member of a party is angry are completely worthless and they never lead to a positive finale. It was better to wait for everyone's food to cool down before starting to eat, otherwise someone would walk away with a burnt tongue. I hate having my tongue burnt, so I finally decided to take the next step. ”Well, it was great to see you Allison and to meet you, Sascha. You two have a great night.” I was a true gentleman pulling out chairs and opening doors with my top hat and monocle squinched to my eye.

Relief, like a fairy G.o.dmother, came around to each of us and tapped our heads with her glowing wand with a star on the end, awakening us from our trances. A few final pleasantries and we started our long journey home. I could hear Sascha trying to dig into Allison with an old, dull pickaxe looking for some kind of explanation of what the h.e.l.l that was all about. Knowing Allison, he wouldn't find any gold for years and would eventually either die or give up and head back east.

Neither Nicole nor I spoke for a few minutes until we were well away, far enough from Sascha's dig site. She eventually broke the silence with a hammer. ”She hates me.”

”I think she hates me more.”

”Yeah.”

A moment more of silence.

”We were better friends than you probably realize.” She continued.

”I saw all the photos.”

”That was like 6 years ago. We've stayed in touch ever since then. I basically came to Boston so that we could be closer.”

”I still can't believe you didn't tell me sooner when you realized that it was her I was talking about.”

”What would you have done? Would you have said that we shouldn't see each other anymore?”

”I don't know what I would have done, but it just would have been good to know.”

”So now what?”

”I have to go talk to her.”

”Should I talk to her?”

”Not yet.”

I wanted to put my arm around her as we walked, but it felt like Allison could still see us and I didn't want to make things worse. Is this how it's going to feel from now on, like she's always watching me? I was feeling guilty enough before, but now?... But now she's dating someone, so how can she be mad that I am too? It struck me, ”Did you know about that guy?”

”She told me that she was going out with him tonight, but she didn't say where.”

”That's what you were chatting with her online about, wasn't it?”

”Yeah.”

I shook my head. It was all so stupid. Really I had no right to be angry, but I was. I wasn't used to having that amount of the feeling inside me and my body wasn't sure how to cope with it. 'Who's this new kid in town?' my cells asked as my blood temperature rose.

”Josh, I'm sorry. I know this must be hard for you.”

That was an unusual thing to say, I thought. As she realized what can of worms she may have accidentally opened, it made me wonder out loud: ”Did she really just meet him?” I asked. Nicole's face answered for her, looking tired from all the emotional strain it had to withstand all night. Again I shook my head. ”How long?”

”A few weeks or so.”

”Is he why she said no to me?”

”He was probably part of it.”

The anger inside started a reign of terror over my bodya coup of unimaginable tyranny, I found myself unable to control my motor functions. I just wanted to scream. That p.r.i.c.k was the reason all of this happened?! Mr. Nice Guy with the $100 haircut and $300 shoes. Nicole was rubbing my arm though I couldn't feel anything except pain and anger. I looked at her and saw her sifting through words and rearranging them in her head, like a magnetic word jumble on the fridge, trying to find the right combination that would make things right.

”Let's go somewhere and get a drink.”

”I think I'd rather drink at home. I'm not in the mood for people, loud music and yelling.”

”You can come over to my place if you want, unless you want to be alone.”

”I'll decide when we get to your place.”

”Ok. Josh. I just want to help. I know this is hard for you, but I want to be here for you. The whole thing hurts me too.”

”I know.”

”Let's just take a cab. It's cold.”

”I want to walk.”

”Ok.” Her grip on my arm tightened trying to absorb some of the heat emanating from the oven within my skin.

We walked the mile or so back to her apartment and I decided for some reason to come up. I definitely wanted a drink, and thought I wanted to avoid people in general. I didn't really want to drink alone, so Nicole was the best bet. She poured us some drinks and handed me mine after I slumped onto her sofa and kicked my shoes off pus.h.i.+ng the heels with my toes. I took a sip, leaned my head back and closed my eyes. ”Can we put on some quiet music or something?”