Part 17 (1/2)
I'm not sure why it will work out that way, but it will.”
”Absolutely not,” Fearin stated while I stared at Ranander with even more confusion. ”That's the most idiotic suggestion I've ever heard, and we're not even going to be considering it. If I have to I'll use the Power to protect her, but she's not going to be fighting anybody.”
”You'll use a Power that's already stretched thin with everything else it has to do?” Ijarin asked him before I could say anything myself. ”That sounds to me like you'd first have to gather more Power, and I've heard masters speak about how unsafe that is. What you're already handling is - ”
”Is my business alone and none of yours,” Fearin rapped out, looking coldly at Ijarin. ”I'll know when I'm approaching my limit, and so far I know no such thing. And even if I were, how can you prefer the idea of the girl throwing her life away to my taking a very small chance? Of course no one will bother her again if she fights. Who wastes time trying to bother the dead?”
”Dead?” I echoed in outrage, refusing to let Ijarin interrupt again. ”What suddenly makes me that incompetent a fighter? I looked this way through every one of my Trials as a Life Seeker, and I not only won through them I did better than most. Just because you would be feeling fainthearted over a little fighting doesn't mean - ”
”If I could do the fighting then there would be nothing to worry about,” he growled back, those eyes nearly glowing at me. ”I don't care how good you think you are, I won't have you running around offering your neck to the blade. You - ”
”Wait!” Ijarin bulled his way between us, interrupting before I could suggest that I show Fearin how good or bad I was. ”Let's just wait before getting to generalized bloodshed. Since we have someone here who can know the truth of what we believe, why don't we get our questions answered through him?”
Fearin glared at me while I returned the favor, so Ijarin got nothing in the way of a verbal response. I was aware of the fact that Garam, Talasin, and Lokkel had stopped their own squabbling in deference to ours, but before any of them could venture an opinion Ijarin hurried on.
”All right, Ranander, Fearin has made two suggestions,” Ijarin said. ”The first is that he protect Kiri with his Power, and the second that he do the fighting for her. Can you tell if either of those ideas would work?”
”First the Power,” Ranander said, and I turned my head to see the very distracted look in hiseyes. ”There's a small, weak yes there, but - Oh, I see! It doesn't solve the problem, it just puts it off until he's distracted by something else. Then - No, let's just say it doesn't work.”
Ranander didn't even glance in my direction, but he didn't have to. His fast change of subject told the story all too clearly.
”What about Fearin doing the fighting?” Garam asked, his voice hard. ”Or, for that matter, Talasin or me?”
”Someone else fighting,” Ranander repeated, back into distraction. ”Two out of three of you would win easily, the third would be wounded but would still win. In any event, it would change nothing. Someone else's winning would not keep them away from Kiri. Only her own victory will do that.”
”And you're that certain she'll win?” Ijarin pressed, now sounding encouraged. ”If that's so, we have nothing to worry or argue about.”
”He can't be that certain she'll win,” Fearin said as Ranander hesitated, sour satisfaction in his voice. ”He may know she has to fight to solve the problem, and he may know she won't be bothered again if she wins. What he doesn't know is if she'll win with ease or even if she'll survive the win. With her being Shadowborn, he can't reach close enough, not the way he can with the rest of us. Am I wrong, Ranander?”
”No,” the downhearted answer came, along with a short breath of weary vexation. ”It's as bad as having heavy Power in the way. I know she has to fight and win, and I know what will happen if she does. I just can't tell whether or not she will win, or whether she'll survive if she does.
I'm sorry, Kiri. I guess Fearin is right and I should have kept quiet.”
”There are a lot of things Fearin isn't right about, and this is just one,” I came back immediately, having already made the decision. ”This meeting was for the purpose of solving a problem, and that's been done. Which of you will be arranging this fight, and when and where will it be?”
I got a lot of voices shouting at me then, all of them arguing one point or another. I let it go on for a short while by showing them my back, and then I turned again with a hand up.
”All right, one of you come up with a better idea,” I challenged into the seething silence I'd forced. ”At the very least it has to guarantee to do the job if it works, just like the first idea.
Well? Let's hear all those suggestions.”
There was some muttering and foot-shuffling in response to my demand, not to mention dark looks of disapproval. What I didn't get was words, which let me nod slowly in their direction.
”Exactly,” I told them. ”There are no other ideas to try, at least none that will work. Now, which of you will be arranging the fight, and when and where can it be?”
”Arranging it has to be mine and Talasin's to do,” Garam grudged, glancing at a stony-faced Fearin. ”At least it will be if everyone agrees we're going ahead with this. Since there are ten main regiments, I'd suggest one representative from each. Not their best, of course, but -”
”It has to be their best or I'll be wasting my time,” I said, gesturing aside the silliness of what he'd been about to suggest. ”How about when and where?”
”The forward scouts tell me there's a very old amphitheater dug into the ground only half an afternoon's march ahead,” Talasin supplied, even more grudging than Garam had been. ”They think the place may have been used for secret rites of some sort hundreds of seasons ago, and we were going to alter the march to avoid it. Since it will still be light enough when we get there, I suppose we can make use of the place. If everyone decides we're going through with this.”
The everyone they'd been referring to was still expressionless, except for the look in his dark blue eyes. Fearin seemed to be fighting inside himself, struggling with a decision he obviously didn't want to make. I didn't understand what he thought he could possibly gain by refusing to go along with a clear necessity, but even as the question crossed my mind he stopped wasting his time.
”All right,” he granted, showing Garam and Talasin what real grudging looked like. ”We've been given no other choice than to go ahead with this madness, so that's what we'll do. But onething our lady had better understand, and that clear as a bell. If she's hurt during this thing, she'd better pray she doesn't survive. If she does survive she'll wish she hadn't. Let's get this meal over with and then we'll get on with it.”
He gestured the others away with him as he headed for the food table, leaving me to stand and stare while buried in confusion up to my ears. What had he been talking about, right there at the end? Men of Power enjoyed making cryptic statements, I knew, but that one hadn't been cryptic it had been ridiculous.
”It seems you have your orders,” Ijarin said from my left, amus.e.m.e.nt back in his voice. ”He let you get your way, but you'd better fight with every bit of ability you have or you'll really be in for it. But I wouldn't count on having gotten away with anything if I were you. You've made him so mad it won't be long before he comes after you anyway.”
”Let him come,” I said, completely unsurprised that Ijarin had supposedly understood what Fearin had said. Two of a kind, if ever I'd seen it... ”And mad is the least he deserves to be. If he decides to come forward with any complaints, I can always turn mad into shredded.”
”You seem to be blaming Fearin for something, but I'd say he doesn't understand what that something is,” the barbarian offered after the briefest of hesitations. ”If he did something to hurt you, why not talk to him about it? Unless I'm totally mistaken, I believe he'd be willing to promise never to do it again.”
”You expect him to promise to change his nature?” I asked with a sound of ridicule. ”Then let me know how much of a bet you'd back your belief with, and I'll find a way to match it. There's no such thing as ever having too much gold.”
”Didn't I hear you admit you'd been told something by someone else?” Ijarin persisted, his tone now thoughtful. ”Yes, that's exactly what you said, so we may not be talking about something Fearin did. You can't be blaming him for something someone else said he did?”
Those light blue eyes were now staring directly at me, and there wasn't much in the way of laughter in them. For some reason I could feel my cheeks beginning to warm, but I quickly shook off the feeling.
”What makes any of this your business?” I demanded, straightening where I stood. ”If it's just that burning need of yours to interfere with everything in reach, that's really too bad. I don't happen to like being interfered with, and I've been known to take exception to those who try it anyway.”
”Do you let yourself get angry so often because you know how beautiful you look when it happens?” he asked with a faint grin, the expression in his eyes changing to match. ”That may help you with men like the rest of us, but Fearin isn't the same. Your anger won't impress him, your beauty won't impress him, and he won't want to hear that someone else told you stories. If you don't have something to point to that he did personally, you can bet the first thing he'll do is give you something to point to. Take my advice and talk to him now, before this misunderstanding gets any worse.”
”That happens to be a very good idea,” another voice said from behind me, one that was back to sounding calm and in control. ”You tell me what I'm supposed to have done, and I'll tell you whether or not I really did it. It isn't fair to accuse a man without giving him a chance to defend himself.”
”I did give you that chance,” I said without turning, feeling myself stiffen over how close he was. ”I asked you about the camp women, and you told me yourself you'd never touched any of them. I suppose if you'd known what I was after you would have answered differently, but it's too late for that. I have the truth now and won't let you tell me any differently.”
”What in all the corners of chaos is that supposed to mean?” he demanded in exasperation while Ijarin stared at me blankly. ”You would have been happier to hear that I'd had every one of the camp women a dozen times each? I know you can't be expected to look at things the way ordinary females do, but that doesn't mean you can't make sense.”
”If it's sense you want, then how about this,” I said with the growl I felt, finally turning to lookat him. ”If I'm not what you'd call an ordinary female, what would you call me? Surely not innocent?”
”In a lot of ways that's exactly what you are,” he answered, blue eyes narrowed. ”Innocent and unworldly with things that the rest of us take for granted. But what has that got to do with - ”.
”Then that's why you suggested we play a 'game,'” I went on, refusing to stop now that I'd gotten started. ”You knew I was far too innocent to refuse, and it was easier playing the game with me than with some girl from the city. The girl you might have had to leave behind, but I'd be going along on the campaign anyway. We could keep ... pretending just as long as I continued to believe you, which would be until you got tired of the game. It wasn't likely I'd be finding out the truth on my own, not as innocent as I am. Now try telling me I'm not innocent, and there wasn't any game.”
”Chaos take it, of course I made it a game,” he answered, and even had the nerve to look annoyed. ”How else was I supposed to keep you from shying away in panic? You couldn't even stand to have someone tell you you were looking fit. How was I supposed to tell you I - ”
His words broke off as frustration flashed across his features, and that I could understand. My own expression was showing him exactly what I thought of him and it couldn't have been considered pretty, let alone beautiful.
”Now I know how arrogant it's possible to get,” I told him in disgust. ”You stand there making mindless statements, refusing to admit the guilt even when you're caught. Me, shying away in panic from anything? Please, do tell me another one. If I ever again believe anything you say I will be a hopeless innocent.”
I began to turn away from him then, glad everything was finally in words, but arrogant is as arrogant does. High Master Fearin decided there was more to say, and his hands came to my arms to force me into turning back to him.
”I made what we had between us a pretense for your sake,” he insisted, speaking the words slowly and clearly. ”I claim I wasn't lying or trying to take advantage of you, but there's a way you can prove I'm stretching the truth after all. Call my bluff by agreeing to marry me.”
Our audience made various sounds in reaction to that, some of them groans of exasperation, but they needn't have bothered. I knew I wasn't innocent, and that was what I intended to prove.