Part 16 (1/2)
I returned to the stand of trees and spent a lot of time prowling through it, trying to decide on a positive plan of action. I was so deeply into it that the pa.s.sage of time lost all meaning, and it came as a surprise when I realized the army was beginning to move again. Talasin and Garam had finished their ch.o.r.e, then, and we still had a fighting force.
I went back to where I'd left my horse and mounted up, but not because I'd come to anydecisions. The only decision I seemed to want to make was to ride away and never see Fearin again, but I couldn't do that. Diin-tha wasn't likely to be understanding about desertion, and I couldn't let Fearin simply get away with what he'd done. I wanted him to feel the same hurt I had, and then I'd be able to ride away.
The rest of the afternoon pa.s.sed into the distance, and suddenly it was time to make night camp. The guardsmen got started doing it just the way they always did, but they were somehow both noisier and more quiet than usual. Even I noticed that when I rode up to the tent that had been created for me, especially when the guardsman who took my horse made no effort to say anything to me. He looked too preoccupied for conversation, but not particularly worried.
I shrugged over the problem of whether or not there would be trouble with the army once they understood and believed what they'd been told, and went into the tent. I had my own problems to occupy me, and if we lost the army it could well be exactly the help I needed. Diin-tha's plans would have to be held off on while another army was recruited, and that opened up a lot of possibilities. I poured myself some wine and sat down with the cup, then considered possibilities.
Time disappeared behind thought again, and the first I knew of it was when I heard the sound of throat-clearing by the entrance to my tent. I looked up to see Lokkel standing just inside, and when my gaze touched him the Healing Master smiled faintly.
”I don't mean to disturb you, child, but Fearin asked me to fetch you,” he said. ”Our meal is set out in his tent, and the meeting is about to begin. Will you allow me to escort you there?”
I was tempted to refuse to go, but couldn't see how that would help anything. Simply thinking about the problem hadn't done me any good so far, and seeing the man in front of me just might trigger an idea. It was at least worth trying, and if I later felt like walking out I could certainly do it.
”Master Lokkel, I would be pleased to have you escort me,” I said as I put my cup aside and rose to my feet. ”Is it any cooler out there yet?”
He immediately seized on the topic of weather, and began to tell me how weather can actually affect a healing spell if the master isn't careful. We walked through the darkening camp together, him deeply into the lecture, me trying to think about nothing at all, and then suddenly we were there. The outside blue of Fearin's tent gave way to the gold of the interior, and Lokkel's hand on my left elbow guided me over to the food table.
”Fill up a healthy plate, now,” he directed with a chuckle. ”As you can see, the others are busy getting Prince Ijarin's impressions of how the men are taking the news. Fearin asked him to look them over, and as usual it was an excellent idea. I'll finish speaking to you later.”
He patted my shoulder before walking away, and that was when I realized he hadn't completed his lecture about healing and the weather. Since I'd seen everyone gathered around Ijarin, I hadn't paid attention to where Lokkel had gotten, but obviously it hadn't been where he wanted to be. As I reached for a plate I wondered if he'd just been threatening about going back to the subject later, and then I wondered why I'd taken a plate. I had no appet.i.te whatsoever, not for anything the food table offered.
”So this time you were just in your tent,” a soft voice said from behind me. ”What I'd like to know is why you didn't decide instead to be in my tent. I would have enjoyed finding you here when I came in.”
”I'll bet you would have,” I muttered, making no effort to turn and look at Fearin. ”Or at least you think you would have. What do you want now?”
”Why do I have to want anything besides talking to you?” he asked, and if I hadn't known better I would have believed the almost-bewildered tone in his voice. ”Is something wrong? I know I've been too busy today to give you much in the way of attention, but I fully intend to make up for that later tonight. We can pretend we're the only people left in the world, and - ”
”Aren't you bored with that yet?” I interrupted, suddenly getting the idea I'd been very nearly praying for. ”I am, which is why I tried something different this afternoon. You know, Fearin,you really ought to get more practice with women, without all that pretending nonsense. You don't know what you're missing, but now I do.”
I'd made my voice go very smug and satisfied, but for a moment there was no response from him. I thought he might be considering what I'd said, and when he stalked around to my right I was sure of it.
”Say that again, only this time with more detail,” he ordered in a very soft voice, a glance showing him to be ... Annoyed? Angry? Shocked? ”What are you bored with, and what sort of different thing did you try this afternoon?”
”I'm bored with you, and what I did this afternoon is none of your business,” I answered with the smugness still intact, at the same time beginning to fill my plate. ”It is, however, my business, and the sort I intend to continue with. You'll just have to find some other female meat to play your games with.”
”What in the name of chaos are you talking about?” he demanded, a growl forming from the small smile I'd sent him. ”Not only is this totally unlike you, I can't believe you'd just spit on everything we had together. It's as if someone came along and put a spell on - By all the G.o.ds, that must be it! Someone's talked you into this nonsense. Tell me who he is!”
”You think it's beyond me to see through you all by myself?” I demanded in turn, putting the half-filled plate down in order to turn on him with my sudden anger. ”What's the matter, Fearin, was I supposed to be too innocent to know you for what you really are? Well, I do know, and there's nothing you can do to change things back.”
”What do you mean, you know me for what I really am?” he growled with that false bewilderment just touching him again. ”What am I supposed to be?”
”A lowlife and a sneak,” I p.r.o.nounced clearly into his anger, my fists to my hips. ”And don't bother trying to deny it, you'll only make yourself look even more ridiculous.”
”Ridiculous,” he echoed with mounting fury, and then those blue eyes hardened as he straightened. ”I'm going to know exactly what's going on here, in detail and step by step. As soon as this meeting's over we'll sit down together and - ”
”No,” I stated, unimpressed with the stare coming down at me. ”Since there's nothing you have to say that I care to listen to, I'll be leaving when everyone else does. To spend some time with a man who knows what he's doing.”
I added that last like the thrust of a dagger to his middle, and the stroke made him stiffen with outrage just as I'd hoped it would. The blue of his eyes intensified as though he were about to start the fight I wanted, but then he suddenly looked away from me and toward the others.
”Stop pretending you haven't heard what's been said here,” he ordered, and I turned to see five men who were busily inspecting various parts of the tent - in every direction but where Fearin and I stood. ”I have the sudden certainty one of you knows the reason for this ... idiot's tantrum, and I want to know right now what it is.”
Five voices began to speak at once, all of them apparently trying to declare innocence, and I suddenly remembered what Ijarin had said. If Fearin thought one of them was guilty he might act before stopping to think about consequences. And if he found out it was Ranander who had told me the truth... Simply not mentioning any name hadn't worked, so I now had to be more definite in my lack of information.
”You can't possibly think it was one of them,” I said with as much scorn as I could muster.
”Your ever-faithful and obedient followers? They think you're wonderful, the poor, blind fools.
It was someone else who told me the truth, a person it's entirely beyond you to think of.”
”Oh, so it was someone who talked you into this childishness,” he pounced, making me curse my unthinking tongue. ”I'm not about to let this drop, Aelana, so you might as well tell me now who it was.”
”Maybe ... it was one of the camp women,” I suggested in an airy way, just to see what his reaction would be. ”They'd certainly know everything that was going on, not to mention the men doing the going. Yes, it was probably one of the camp women.””I've never had anything to do with the camp women,” he came back immediately, having no idea he'd just confirmed the accusation against himself. ”They'd have nothing to say about me at all, and haven't the imagination to make something up. I don't believe it was one of them.”
”Well, then, I'm fresh out of suggestions,” I returned with a shrug, refusing to show how torn up I felt on the inside. ”If you can't come up with a better idea yourself, let's get back to the meeting. Since I have an appointment later, I'd like to get out of here as early as possible.”
Five men winced as Fearin drew himself up again, but I ignored them all. I could see I'd have to be certain not to go near any man for a while, but that wasn't likely to be much of a hards.h.i.+p.
And they certainly wouldn't be coming after me, that was for sure. I would be left completely alone and unbothered, but for some reason couldn't decide whether or not I liked that idea...
”The men aren't happy about going through the Valley of Twilight, but since I'll be going in first they're willing to trust my ability,” Fearin said in a very brusque way. ”They're pleased with the looting and gold they were given the chance at so far, and they're willing to take a small risk in order to get more. Does anyone have anything to add to that?”
Talasin and Garam exchanged glances with Ijarin, then those three looked at Ranander and Lokkel. When the last two simply shrugged, Garam shook his head.
”No, that's the conclusion we've all come to,” Garam began, obviously intending to add something else. Fearin must have seen that as clearly as I, but decided not to allow it.
”Then I declare this meeting over and done with,” he announced in a very flat way. ”If you men will excuse us now, Aelana and I want some privacy. There's something she's going to be telling me, I swear by all the signs of chaos that she will. I'll talk to the rest of you again tomorrow.”
Again five voices spoke together, this time to show instant agreement, but I rounded on Fearin in a rage. I intended to refuse to stay, in fact intended to tell him I'd never speak to him again, but all I had time for was to part my lips. Words became impossible when the air suddenly ...
blurred, a soundless echoing ring accompanying the blurring. I had no idea what was happening, but the shocked understanding on Fearin's face said that he did. He was looking past me, and when I quickly turned I also began to understand.
The mist I'd seen only once before was appearing in the tent, and in the mist the form of Diin-tha grew. The others stood staring, Garam and Lokkel looking as if they wished they'd been able to leave before the appearance, Talasin curious, and Ranander unworried. Ijarin all but stared open-mouthed, and then he suddenly looked as though a puzzle had been solved for him. Diin-tha solidified in the mist, as imposing as the first time I'd seen him, and his handsome face immediately smiled at his chosen leader.
”Do not upset yourself, Fearin,” he rea.s.sured the man in his soft giant's voice. ”I have taken steps to see that none will enter the while I remain, and in any event shall not stay long. I come only to give your group my approval for your efforts, and to give a special gift to one of you. So pleased am I with that one, that I see no reason to continue with what must surely be a punishment. You have earned the right to your own self, Kiri, and will continue so while you move in my cause. Do not thank me, for there is certainly no need.”
I stood there with my mouth open as he smiled at me, then watched while he dissolved back into mist. When the last of the mist wafted away into nothing it took the blurring and soundless noise with it, but that wasn't the end of the episode. I finally looked around to see that everyone was staring at me, all with the same stunned shock in their eyes.
”All right, so now you know my real name,” I conceded, seeing it would be a waste of time to deny it. ”I don't know why he felt he had to tell you, but it really doesn't matter. And I happen to prefer Aelana, which was my younger sister's name. She didn't survive one of the Trials, so I haven't taken anything someone else is ent.i.tled to.”
”But you did put aside something no one else is ent.i.tled to,” Fearin said slowly, his stare even deeper than that of the others. ”Kiri is the name given every generation to the first-born daughter of the Kenoss royal family, and no one else in the entire nation is allowed to use thename. That seems to explain a lot of things.”
”Yes, like why the presence of three princes didn't impress her at all,” Garam agreed, his dark eyes unmoving from my face. ”Since her brothers must also be princes, it simply wasn't anything new to have us around. Or to argue with us.”
”Especially to argue with us,” Ijarin added with a grin. ”Now that we've been properly introduced, I'd like to say how delighted I am to meet you, Princess Kiri.”
”I knew Aelana wasn't her real name,” Ranander said with satisfaction, his eyes bright. ”I'm happy to meet you, too, Kiri.”