Part 56 (1/2)
She wandered back to the quayside and looked downriver.
A wall of white water a few feet high was running up the Ankh. As it pa.s.sed, boats were lifted and rocked.
It sloshed by her, sucking at the quay and making Jenkins's boat dance for a moment. There was a crash of crockery somewhere aboard.
Then it was gone, a line of surf heading toward the next bridge. For a moment the air smelled not of the Ankh's eau de latrine eau de latrine but of sea winds and salt. but of sea winds and salt.
Jenkins appeared out of his cabin and looked over the side.
”What was that? The tide changing?” Angua called up.
”We came up on the tide,” said Jenkins. ”Beats me. One of those phenomena, I expect.”
Angua went back to the group. Vimes was already red in the face.
”It has has been signed by quite a lot of the major guilds, sir,” Carrot was saying. ”In fact they're all here except the Beggars and the Seamstresses.” been signed by quite a lot of the major guilds, sir,” Carrot was saying. ”In fact they're all here except the Beggars and the Seamstresses.”
”Really? Well, p.i.s.s on 'em! Who are they to give me me an order like an order like that that?”
Angua saw the look of pain cross Carrot's face.
”Uh...someone has to give us orders, sir. In a general sort of way. We aren't supposed to make up our own. That's sort of...the point.” has to give us orders, sir. In a general sort of way. We aren't supposed to make up our own. That's sort of...the point.”
”Yes...but...not like...”
”And I suppose they represent the will of the people-”
”That bunch? Don't give me that rubbis.h.!.+ We'd have been slaughtered slaughtered if we'd fought! And then we'd be in just the same position as we-” if we'd fought! And then we'd be in just the same position as we-”
”This does look legal, sir.”
”It's...ridiculous!”
”It's not as if we we are accusing him, sir. We just have to make sure he turns up at the Rats Chamber. Look, sir, you've had a very trying time-” are accusing him, sir. We just have to make sure he turns up at the Rats Chamber. Look, sir, you've had a very trying time-”
”But...arrest Vetinari? I can't-”
Vimes stopped, because his ears had caught up. And because that was the point, wasn't it? If you could arrest anyone, then that's what you had to do. You couldn't turn round and say ”but not him him.” Ahmed would sn.i.g.g.e.r. Old Stoneface would turn in all five of his graves.
”I can, can't I?” he said, sadly. ”Oh, all right. Put out a description, Dorfl.”
”That Will Not Be Necessary, Sir.”
The crowds moved aside as Lord Vetinari walked along the quay, with n.o.bby and Colon behind him. At least, if it wasn't Sergeant Colon it was a very strangely deformed camel.
”I think I caught quite a lot of that, commander,” said Lord Vetinari. ”Please do your duty.”
”All you've got to do is go to the palace, sir. Let's-”
”You're not going to handcuff me?”
Vimes's mouth dropped open. ”Why should I do that?”
”Treason is very nearly the ultimate crime, Sir Samuel. I think I should demand demand handcuffs.” handcuffs.”
”All right, if you insist.” Vimes nodded at Dorfl. ”Cuff him, then.”
”You haven't any shackles, by any chance?” said Lord Vetinari, as Dorfl produced a pair of handcuffs. ”We may as well do this thing properly-”
”No. We don't don't have any shackles.” have any shackles.”
”I was only trying to help, Sir Samuel. Shall we be going?”
The crowd weren't jeering. That was almost frightening. They were just waiting, like an audience watching to see how the trick was going to be done. They parted again as the Patrician headed toward the center of the city. He stopped and turned.
”What was the other thing...oh yes, I don't have to be dragged on a hurdle, do I?”
”Only if you're actually executed, my lord,” said Carrot, cheerfully. ”Traditionally, traitors are dragged to their place of execution on a hurdle. And then you're hung, drawn and quartered.” Carrot looked embarra.s.sed. ”I know about the hanging and quartering but I'm not sure how you're drawn, sir.”
”Are you any good with a pencil, captain?” said Lord Vetinari innocently.
”No, he's not!” said Vimes.
”Do you actually have have a hurdle?” a hurdle?”
”No!” snapped Vimes.
”Oh? Well, I believe there's a sports equipment shop in Sheer Street. Just in case, Sir Samuel.”
A figure walked across the trampled sand near Gebra, and paused when a voice very near ground level said, hopefully, ”Bingeley-bingeley beep?”
The Dis-organizer felt itself being picked up.
WHAT KIND OF A THING ARE YOU?.
”I am the Dis-organizer Mk II, with many handy hard-to-use features, Insert Name Here!”
SUCH AS?.
Even the Dis-organizer's tiny mind felt slightly uneasy. The voice it was speaking to didn't sound right.
”I know what time it is everywhere,” it ventured.
SO DO I.