Part 36 (2/2)
”It's worse outside.”
”Worse than in here?”
”I'm almost certain.”
”But we're on the surface!”
”A surface, sergeant,” said Lord Vetinari. Beside him, n.o.bby uncorked the seeing device and peered through it.
”We're in a cave?” said Colon.
”Er...sarge...” said n.o.bby.
”Capital! Well worked out,” said Lord Vetinari. ”Yes. A cave. You could say that.”
”Er...sarge?” said n.o.bby again, nudging Colon. ”This isn't a cave, sarge! It's bigger than a cave, sarge!”
”What, you mean...like a cavern?”
”Bigger!”
”Bigger'n a cavern? More like a...big cavern?” cavern?”
”Yeah, that'd be about right,” said n.o.bby, taking his eye away from the device. ”Have a look yourself, sarge.”
Sergeant Colon peered into the tube.
Instead of the darkness he was half expecting, he saw the sea's surface, bubbling like a boiling saucepan. Green and yellow flashes of lightning danced across the water, illuminating a distant wall that seemed practically a horizon...
The tube squeaked around. If this was a cave, it was at least a couple of miles across.
”How long, do you think?” said Lord Vetinari, behind him.
”Well, the rock has a large proportion of tufa and pumice, very light, and once floated up the build-up of gas starts to escape very rapidly because of the swell,” said Leonard. ”I don't know...perhaps another week...and then I think it takes a very long time for a sufficient bubble to build up again...”
”What're they saying, sarge?” said n.o.bby. ”This place floats floats?”
”A most unusual natural phenomenon,” Leonard went on. ”I'd have thought it was just a legend had I not seen it for myself...”
”Of course it's not floating,” said Sergeant Colon. ”Honestly, n.o.bby, how're you ever going to find out anything when you ask daft questions like that? Land's heavier than water, right? That's why you find it at the bottom of the sea.”
”Yes, but he said pumice, and my gran had a pumice stone that worked a treat for getting tough skin off'f your feet in the tub and that'd float-”
”That sort of thing happens in bath tubs maybe maybe,” said Colon. ”Not in real life. This is just a phenomena. It's not real real. Next thing you'll be saying there's rocks up in the sky.”
”Yeah, but-”
”I am a sergeant, n.o.bby.”
”Yes, sarge.”
”It puts me in mind,” said Leonard, ”of those nautical stories about giant turtles that sleep on the surface, thus causing sailors to think they are an island. Of course, you don't get giant turtles that small.”
”Hey, Mr. Quirm, this is an amazing boat,” said n.o.bby.
”Thank you.”
”I bet you could even smash up s.h.i.+ps with it if you wanted.”
There was an embarra.s.sed silence.
”Altogether an interesting experience,” said Lord Vetinari, making some notes. ”And now, gentlemen-downward and onward, please...”
The watchmen drew their weapons.
”They're D'regs, sir,” said Carrot. ”But-this is all wrong...”
”What do you mean?”
”We're not dead yet.”
They're watching us like cats watch mice, thought Vimes. We can't run away and we can't win a fight, and they want to see what we'll do next.
”What does General Tacticus have to say about this, sir?” said Carrot.
There's a hundred of them, thought Vimes. And six of us. Except that Detritus is drifting off and there's no knowing what particular commandment Visit is obeying right now and Reg's arms tend to drop off when he gets excited- ”I don't know,” he said. ”Probably something on the lines of Don't Allow This to Happen.”
”Why don't you check, sir?” said Carrot, not taking his eyes off the watching D'regs.
”What?”
”I said, why don't you check, sir?”
”Right now?”
”It might be worth a try, sir.”
”That's crazy, captain.”
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