Part 7 (2/2)
The casting director scrolls down Rain's page. There's a sudden hesitancy in the room before Jason says anything.
”Kelly Montrose,” he says. ”Kelly made the call.”
Everything goes silent. Things become reversed in the long moment before anyone says anything. Through the open window the palm tree waves in the dry wind and the kids are murmuring below by the pool and no one in the room knows what to say and the hangover I had forgotten about returns the moment Kelly Montrose's name is mentioned and I want to sing softly to myself to help submerge the pain-the chest that aches, the blood pulsing in my head-and I have no choice except to pretend I'm only a phantom, neutral and uncaring.
”Well, that's not good,” Jon says. ”I think that's a bad omen.”
”Yeah?” I ask, finding my voice. ”You do?”
”I'm superst.i.tious.” Jon shrugs. ”I believe in bad luck.”
”When did this happen?” I ask Jason. ”When did Kelly make the call for her?”
”A couple days before he disappeared,” Jason says.
Rain calls me after I text her Kelly Montrose? Kelly Montrose?
”Where did you go last night?” I ask. ”Why did you leave? Were you with Julian?”
”If this is going to work the way you want it to,” she says, ”I have to take care of some things first.”
”What things?” I'm walking out of the complex, holding the phone tightly against my ear.
”You can't ask me that.”
”I talked to them about you.” I realize I'm unable to move while I'm on the phone with her. ”They're going to see you again.”
”Thanks,” she says. ”But listen, I have to go.”
”There's a party tonight,” I say. ”Here in Culver City.”
”I don't think I can make that, Clay.”
”Rain-”
”Just give me a day or two and then we can be together, okay?”
”Why didn't you tell me you knew Kelly Montrose?”
”I'll explain everything when I see you,” she says. ”I have to go.”
”Why didn't you tell me Kelly Montrose got you the audition?” I'm whispering this.
”You never asked,” she says, and then hangs up.
There's nothing to do but wait for the party and since I have nowhere else to go I stick around Culver City, skipping the afternoon auditions, the fear returning as I walk to a liquor store to buy aspirin, the alcoholic dreaminess of everything, the ghosts swarming everywhere whispering You need to be careful who you let into your life You need to be careful who you let into your life, and I'm pacing the courtyard while I return a couple of calls-leaving messages for the agent, the manager, the movie about the monkeys, Dr. Woolf-and smoking cigarettes by the swimming pool and watching the decorating crew string up lights along the length of a curving beige wall that borders one end of the pool and then I'm introduced to the actor who got the main role of Grant, Kevin s.p.a.cey's son, in The Listeners The Listeners and the boy is unusually handsome even with the beard he has because of the pirate movie he's shooting and screens have been set up and headshots of various young actors are flas.h.i.+ng on them and then from somewhere complaints are made and the screens are repositioned and I meet another girl who won another modeling compet.i.tion and the afternoon becomes grayer, the sky shrouded with clouds, and someone asks me, ”What's the matter, dude?” and the boy is unusually handsome even with the beard he has because of the pirate movie he's shooting and screens have been set up and headshots of various young actors are flas.h.i.+ng on them and then from somewhere complaints are made and the screens are repositioned and I meet another girl who won another modeling compet.i.tion and the afternoon becomes grayer, the sky shrouded with clouds, and someone asks me, ”What's the matter, dude?”
The party surrounds the pool and paper lanterns are strung along the courtyard and songs from the eighties are playing and everyone's familiar-looking even though they're all eighteen and I'm hoping that Rain will surprise me by showing up but also knowing that she won't. Cade, the trainer from Equinox, is here-I forgot that I had made the call-and now that I understand what his connection to Julian really is I'm embarra.s.sed Cade thinks I'm clueless enough not to know, and I'm standing next to one of Jason's a.s.sistants and drinking vodka from a plastic cup and the boy playing Kevin s.p.a.cey's son keeps asking me questions about his character that I answer in a monotone and he responds by pointing out an owl that's nesting in the palm tree and then I see the actress-she's a girl, really-that I hit on in the first-cla.s.s lounge at JFK before Christmas, maybe a month ago, and Amanda Flew is so much younger than I remember and whenever she glances over at me she smiles nervously at the boy she's talking to and sometimes the boy whispers in her ear and another boy lights her cigarettes and I'm now aware that I've drunk too much.
”Do you know that girl?” I ask the a.s.sistant. ”Amanda Flew?”
”Yeah,” the a.s.sistant says. ”Do you know her?”
”Yeah,” I say. ”I f.u.c.ked her.”
There's a beat but when I look over at him he says, ”Cool.” He shrugs but he's creeped out. ”She's hot. She's slammin'.” Another pause. ”I guess she likes older guys, huh?”
”Yeah, I guess.” I shrug too, and then ask, ”Why do you say that?”
”I thought she was one of Rip Millar's girls.”
I'm watching as Amanda gets a text, glances at it and then makes a call. She barely says anything, just listens, and then clicks off.
”His girls?” I'm asking.
”Yeah,” the a.s.sistant says and then noting my reaction in just those two words, adds, ”I mean, it's not like a secret or anything. She was part of his p.u.s.s.y posse.” He pauses. ”But I've heard she's crazy. Really messed up.”
I don't say anything.
”But maybe that's how you like them,” the a.s.sistant says.
When Amanda sees me approaching she turns away as if I'm not there. She looks around the party, she blinks, she doesn't say anything, but when I intimately push myself into her group it becomes awkward for her to ignore me and then I say ”Hey” and her smile is there and then it isn't. She seems upset that I'm standing next to her, that I've even approached her, and I realize that after being so flirtatious in the lounge at JFK she now doesn't want to speak to me but I just stand there, hoping she'll say something back and behind Amanda a girl is dancing by herself to an old Altered Images song, the tattoo of a phone number inked along her arm.
”Yeah?” Amanda says. ”Hi.” Then she turns back to the two guys.
”We met in New York,” I say. ”At JFK. I think you texted me a couple of times since you've been in L.A. but we haven't spoken in like four weeks. How are you?”
”I'm fine,” she says, and then there's an awkward silence and the two guys introduce themselves and names are exchanged and one of them recognizes me and says ”Oh, cool” and then turns his attention on me but I'm focusing on Amanda.
”Yeah, it's been around a month,” I say, staring at her. ”You doing okay?”
”I'm fine, I said,” and then, ”But I think maybe you've made a mistake.”
”Aren't you up for a role in The Listeners?” The Listeners?”
A photographer snaps a shot of us standing together and it's either this or the question I asked that becomes Amanda's cue to leave. ”I have to go now.”
I start trailing after her. ”Hey, wait a minute.”
”I can't talk right now,” she says.
”Hey, I said wait a minute-”
She's backed against a wall that leads to the exit. The conversation is on the verge of becoming an argument. ”You're being rude,” she says.
”I haven't done anything,” I say. ”Why am I making you so uncomfortable?”
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