Part 7 (1/2)

”You're panicking.” I smile, pulling away from her. ”Look at this: you're really panicking.”

”Listen, I'll do whatever you want,” she says. ”What do you want? Just tell me what you want and I'll do it.”

”End things with Julian now,” I say. ”At least until you get the part.”

She pulls back. ”How do I even know that you'll help me get the part?”

”I will,” I say. ”But just tell Julian to go away. I'm not even going to try until he's out of the picture.”

”If you get me the part I'll do anything,” she says quietly. ”I'll do anything you want. If you can get me that part I'll do anything you want.”

She grabs my face. She pulls me to her. She kisses me hard on the mouth.

In the darkness of the bedroom Rain asks me, ”Why did you do this now?”

”Do what?” I'm propped on a pillow sipping vodka and melted ice.

”Bring this all up,” she says. ”Try and wreck everything.”

”I just wanted to prove that you were lying to me.”

”Who told you?”

”Rip Millar.”

She immediately tightens up and her voice becomes chilled.

”That's not happening anymore.”

”Why isn't it happening?”

”Because he's f.u.c.ked up.” She turns to me. ”Don't bring Rip into this. Please, Clay? Seriously. Just don't. I'll handle Rip.”

”He said he'll hurt Julian,” I say. ”He said he won't be able to help himself.”

”Why can't you just let this be what it is?”

”Because what it is...is not what I want.”

”If this is going to work the way you want it to”-she sighs-”I need some money.”

”You have a job,” I say. ”What about Reveal?”

”I was let go,” she says finally.

”Why?”

”Rip made a call,” she says. ”He hates me.”

Things start expanding. I feel more relaxed. Everything becomes possible because the plan starts falling into place.

”Did you hear me?” she asks. ”How do you live like this?”

”I pretend I don't.”

Is she with you now? Where is she, Julian? I mean, I know what's going on. I know what the facts are. f.u.c.k, Julian, what are you f.u.c.king doing? Are you f.u.c.king with me again? You're pimping your girlfriend out? What kind of f.u.c.ked-up dude are you? Tell me where she is...Where is she?...Oh, f.u.c.k yourself. I don't ever want to see your f.u.c.king face ever again and if I see you I swear to G.o.d I will f.u.c.king kill you, Julian. I mean it. I'll f.u.c.king kill you and I won't give a s.h.i.+t. I'll like it because everything will be better once you're dead.” A drunken message I leave on Julian's cell phone when I wake up and Rain's gone in the middle of a warm January night, after the Golden Globes party at the Sunset Tower.

Two catering trucks are parked in front of the casting complex in Culver City and in the courtyard a crew is setting up tables and a DJ stand and the patio is filled with waiting young actors dressed in vintage eighties clothes and they all have blond bangs and then I'm pa.s.sing the pool and walking up the stairs into an office where Jon and Mark are taking a break from the auditions with Jason.

”He's back from the dead,” Jon says. ”What's up? Where have you been?”

”Just some personal stuff I had to deal with,” I say. ”I had to finish a script.” I put my hands in my pockets and lean against a wall, trying to remain loose and casual. ”And I've been thinking that we saw someone who's perfect for Martina.”

”We still haven't found anyone yet,” Jon says.

”Well, that's not true,” Jason says. ”We've narrowed it down but who are you thinking of?”

Mark is just staring at me, slightly amused, maybe bewildered. ”Yeah, who is it?” He asks this as if he already knows.

”We saw her a couple of weeks ago and, well, I've been thinking about her a lot,” I say. ”I think we should see her again.”

”Who?”

”Rain Turner. Do you remember her?” I ask, then turn to Mark. ”She was with me at the party last night.”

Jason swings over to his monitor and taps some keys and Rain's headshot appears on the screen. Jon moves forward, confused. Mark glances at the screen and then, hopelessly, at me.

”Why her?” Jon asks. ”She's older than Martina.”

”She just seems like who I had in mind when I was writing the script,” I say. ”I mean, Martina could be a few years older than the others.”

”She's very pretty,” Jon murmurs. ”But I don't really remember who she was.”

”I think she's too old,” Jason says.

”Why are you so sure about her, Clay?” Mark asks.

”I just can't stop thinking about her in that role and, well, I'd really like to have her read again.”

”Has she become a friend of yours?” Mark asks.

I try to ignore the way he asks this. ”No, I mean no...she's, I mean, I know her.”

”Who is this girl?” Jon asks. ”Who reps her?”

”Burroughs Media,” the casting director says reading from the screen. ”ICM is listed but I don't think they're repping her anymore. Her last credits are from a year ago.” He keeps scanning and then stops. ”Actually, she got in as a favor.”

”From who?” I'm the one who asks this.