Part 26 (2/2)
”Not me,” said Wendy firmly. ”I'm not living out my life here, you can bet on that. Not on this overphilosophized ball of rock. Uh-uh.”
”No?”
”No. No attachments for me. No strings. I want my freedom,” Wendy said with fire in her voice. ”Another year or two here, tops. Then I'm gone. Diplomatic corps, maybe. An attach? or something. Or who knows? Maybe I'll just hitch. See the galaxy. Grab rides on star freighters, doing odd jobs for pa.s.sage.”
”No attachments.”
”No strings.”
He stared at her. ”Has anyone told you,” he said, feeling an extremely pleasant buzz in his head, ”how terrific you look?”
She grinned. ”Not for a long time.”
”And”-he paused-”has anyone done anything about how terrific you look?”
”Not for an even longer time.”
He kissed her, feeling giddy. She was warm and supple against him. Undemanding. Yielding. Wanting nothing more from him than he was capable of giving.
He broke from her for a moment. ”What do you think of art?”
”Boring.”
”Thank G.o.d,” he said, and they sank down onto the bed.
Lwaxana sat in her favorite chair in the study, reading and feeling totally relaxed. Deanna sat at a desk nearby, surrounded by texts for various psychology courses.
”What are you studying, Little One?” Lwaxana called to her.
Deanna did not respond.
Lwaxana turned to look at her and saw that Deanna was staring off into s.p.a.ce. Deanna, she tossed into her daughter's head. Deanna looked up, and Lwaxana continued, What are you studying?
”Oh.” Deanna looked blankly at the texts in front of her. She held one up. ”Human dysfunctions.”
”Well,” Lwaxana said with a faint smile, ”we've certainly had our up-close-and-personal study of that for today, haven't we.”
”Mother, that's not nice,” said Deanna tightly.
”You know,” Lwaxana said with a thought, ”you might be able to get some genuine use out of your extended contact with him-purely on a clinical basis. He's a fascinating study in obsessive behavior, don't you th-”
Deanna rose from her chair and started across the study. ”I'm going out.”
Immediately Lwaxana frowned, getting up from her chair, She didn't precisely block Deanna's way, but Deanna was definitely going to have to go around her. ”It's late,” Lwaxana said.
”I think I'm a little old for a curfew, Mother.”
”Maybe. But not too old to exercise common sense. You're going to see him, and don't bother trying to lie to me.”
”It was too abrupt, Mother. It-”
Lwaxana raised a stern finger. ”It was exactly as abrupt as it needed to be. It's what you both needed. Simply dragging things out would have done neither of you any good. It's over. It's finished. That's it. Now go back and study.”
”Mother, I don't want to. I can't. I-”
I don't care what you want, Lwaxana's voice echoed sharply in Deanna's head for emphasis. Do as I tell you!
Deanna took a step back, a physical reaction to the mental rebuffing. Then her eyes narrowed, her fingers rolled up into tightly clenched fists.
”You don't, do you,” said Deanna carefully. ”You don't care what I want.”
”I care about what's best for you-”
And with such force that it seemed as if the air molecules crackled, Deanna hurtled a blistering, NO YOU DON'T M0THER! right at Lwaxana.
Lwaxana staggered, paling under her makeup. ”How dare you think at me that way! To imply that I-”
”I'm not implying it, Mother! I'm saying it outright!” For a moment Deanna felt as if her courage were going to falter, and then she realized that if she'd been able to face up to the fear that had pervaded her in the jungle, then this should be easy in comparison.
It all burst from her at once. ”For years, Mother-for years-while you've done whatever you wanted, wherever and whenever you wanted, you've told me what I'm supposed to do, what I have to do. And you keep telling me it's for me, all me. But it's not for me, Mother! It's for you! It's to satisfy your needs and your desires and your decisions. You've never asked me whether I care about any of these so-called responsibilities! You've never cared! You just... just a.s.sumed that I would embrace them because they were important to you. Well, they're not important to me, Mother! I'm sorry! I don't want to hold the sacred chalice! It's all yours! Make wind chimes of the Holy Rings for all I care!”
”Deanna-!” Words could not begin to express the shock flooding through Lwaxana. ”I'd have sooner died than talk to my mother this way!”
Deanna didn't stop. She was afraid that if she did stop, she'd never have the nerve to start again. ”I want my own priorities, Mother!” She thudded her fists against her own bosom for emphasis. ”I want to make my decisions! My choices! Not yours. Not hundreds of years worth of tradition. Mine! I'm ent.i.tled to that! Every single thing I've done, I've done because you've made that decision for me! So when do I get a chance, Mother? When do I get to make decisions about careers and opportunities and marriages? When?”
”When you have a daughter! Just the same way that I did!”
Deanna gaped at her mother, appalled. ”I can't believe you said that.”
Lwaxana was silent.
”I cannot believe that you said that,” repeated Deanna. ”Generation after generation, women not being allowed to think for themselves... perpetuating that pattern, child after child...” Deanna drew herself up. ”It stops here, Mother.”
”It's that Riker,” Lwaxana said angrily. ”He put these thoughts in your mind.”
”No, Mother. The thoughts were always there. I just never had the nerve to say them. And what's worst of all is, you knew they were there. You must have known. You knew that I was unhappy, and that didn't stop you from doing whatever you pleased with my life, counting on my obedience and 'dutiful daughter' mindset.”
”I knew that when you were older, you'd understand-”
”Well, you were wrong, Mother.”
Deanna walked around Lwaxana and headed for the door. Her mother turned and called out, ”You'd take him over me!”
Deanna spun and shouted back defiantly, ”Yes!”
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