Part 16 (2/2)
I awaked in the peace of one who has laid his burden down. My joints were a little stiff, from the position in which I had slept; my mind was set free. The charge of the rival armies and their conflicts was no longer on my shoulders; even the care of individual life and safety I thought no longer to secure. Myself I was a soldier, in a different army; and I had been forgetting my business and presuming into the General's province. No wonder my nerves were strained and my heart almost broken. That was now all given up; and I went through my morning duties in a quiet that was profound, if it was also very humble. I had found the only harbour of rest that can be found on the sh.o.r.es of this world; that one which is entered by paying the tribute of one's self-will. The tides of the great sea do not rise and fall there; the anchorage is good; the winds that weep over the waters bring balm with them; and the banner that floats at the entrance bears this inscription -
”He shall not be afraid of evil tidings; his heart is fixed, trusting in the Lord.”
The first thing I heard from Mrs. Sandford was that he doctor was almost well, and would come down stairs after breakfast. I knew what that portended for me; thought I knew; but as I said, I had given up the management of myself and my concerns.
”If ye be not able to do that thing which is least, why take ye thought for the rest?” I got my worsted and sat down stairs at my work, to be ready to see the doctor when he should come.
Mrs. Sandford took post at the window; and so we waited. The weather to-day was clear and bright; the street full yet of motley groups, returned soldiers and gathered civilians, looking however far less dismal than the day before. Mrs.
Sandford from the window detailed all she saw; while my worsted needle went in and out to an interrupted refrain - ”He shall not be afraid of evil tidings” - ”Why take ye thought?”
Then Mrs. Sandford said, ”Here comes the major, Daisy. It seems to me he is very attentive -” and in the major walked.
He gave his hand to me, and his eye glanced at the figure in the window. I could not help the thought that he wished it not there. But things too far down had been stirred in me, for a little surface matter like this to move my calm.
”What news, major?” my friend asked.
”Good. How do you do, Mrs. Sandford? I told you yesterday that it would be good.”
”Yes, but how good is it, Major Fairbairn?”
”Fine.”
”Well, go on and tell us. You are a nice major.”
”Thank you. In the first place, as you may remember I said it would be, the lists of casualties are greatly reduced.”
”Casualties?” said Mrs. Sandford. ”What is that? I am learning so many new things.”
”The lists of the killed and wounded.”
”Oh! That is what a military man calls _casualties_, Daisy, my dear.”
”It is the term in common use -” said the major, looking somewhat taken aback.
”I know. Pray, Major Fairbairn, have the officers of the army the reputation of making good husbands and heads of families?”
”I have always heard that they did,” said the major, colouring a little and by no means free of his astonishment.
”I don't see how they can have any sympathy for little common heartaches and headaches, though, when to be run through the body is such a trifle. They can't, I think, major.”
”But Mrs. Sandford -”
”For instance,” the lady went on, unmercifully, - ”for instance, Miss Randolph has her head taken off by a cannon ball. The doctor and I are desolate; but Major Fairbairn says it is a 'casualty.' Or, the doctor himself may be hit by a shot not intended for him, and put out of charge of his hospital for ever. Miss Randolph and I are in ashes; but our friend Major Fairbairn says it is only a 'casualty.' ”
”But _friends_, Mrs. Sandford, -” the major began.
”Everybody has friends,” said Mrs. Sandford. ”I was reading in the paper just now a list of these little accidents. One man had his leg shattered by a minie ball; it killed him in a few hours. Another had a charge of grape-shot in his breast; it struck the spine. _He_ is dead. What is grape-shot, Major Fairbairn?”
The major hastily pa.s.sed to the sideboard in the other room and brought me a gla.s.s of water.
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