Part 9 (1/2)
”Come with me-”
I shook my head, not in denial, but confusion. I believed that I had been justified in taking the place of the Beltane Bride because Constantius was the lover promised to me by my vision. But if that was so, then what of the images of foreign lands that I had seen? Much as I loved him, I did not want to leave Avalon.
”What does this mean to you?” Gently I brushed the sign of Mithras on his brow.
For a moment he looked taken aback. I waited as he struggled to frame an answer, understanding how deep was the inhibition against speaking of the Mysteries.
”It is a sign... of my devotion to the G.o.d of Light...” he said finally.
”As this sign signifies my own dedication to the G.o.ddess-” I indicated the blue crescent between my own brows. ”I am a priestess of Avalon, and bound by my vows.”
”Was it only obedience to your vows that brought you to me last night?” he asked, frowning.
”Can you truly think that, after this morning?” I tried to smile.
”Helena-I beg of you, let there always be truth between us!” His face had gone grim.
For a long moment I met his gaze, wondering how much I dared say. But surely he was going to hear about it as soon as I emerged from the bower and they saw it was not Aelia.
”I took the place of the priestess they meant for your bride. I have the Sight, and it showed me your face long ago. And then I was sent to bring you here, and... I began to love you...”
”You disobeyed?” In his face anxiety warred with satisfaction. ”Will they punish you?”
”Even the Lady of Avalon cannot change what has happened between us,” I managed a smile. But we both knew that I had not really answered him.
There was a sound outside and I stiffened. Someone was knocking softly against the upright of the door.
”Eilan, can you hear me? Is the Roman asleep?”
It was Aelia's voice, and I remembered suddenly that she had been told that after she lay with him she must make sure Constantius drank the contents of the silver flask in the corner so that he would sleep while she slipped away.
”Eilan, come quickly, and no one will-” She broke off with a gasp. I heard the sound of several people approaching, and the pit of my stomach went suddenly cold. With a leaden certainty I knew it would be Ganeda even before I heard the next words.
”Is she still sleeping? It would seem she did not fear a man's touch so greatly after all. You will have to go in and wake her...” The laughter stilled. ”Aelia!”
There was a short, charged, silence. As I started to drape the coverlet around me Constantius gripped my arm.
”You shall not face them alone-”
After a moment I nodded, and waited while he twisted my veil about his loins, reminding me of the statues I had seen in Londinium. One arm went protectively around me. With the other, he pushed aside the woven curtain that covered the doorway, and together we emerged into the uncompromising illumination of the new day.
It was worse than I had expected. Not only Ganeda and the priestesses, but Arganax and his Druids, were standing there. Aelia still crouched by the doorway, weeping silently. I reached down to touch her shoulder and she clung to me.
”I... see...” said the High Priestess in a voice like grating stones. She looked around her at the dancing floor, and I saw that the people who had dropped down to sleep there, in couples or alone, were beginning to awaken and cast curious glances at the scene by the bower. With an obvious effort she controlled the words that trembled on her lips.
”Aelia... and Eilan-” she ground out the names, ”-will come with me.” Her gaze turned to Constantius. ”My lord, the Druids wait to attend you.”
His grip on me tightened. ”You will not harm her!”
Ganeda's face darkened further as she realized just how much I must have told him.
”Do you think we are barbarians?” she snapped, and he responded to the note of command and let me go, though in truth that was no answer at all.
”It will be all right,” I said in a low voice, though my gut was still knotting in apprehension.
”I will not lose you!” Constantius replied, and it occurred to me that not only had I not antic.i.p.ated how this night would bind me to him, I had not even imagined how it might affect his feelings for me.
I helped Aelia to rise, and putting my arm around her, started towards my reckoning.
”Why does it matter?” I exclaimed. ”Both of your purposes have been accomplished. You wanted a man of destiny for the Great Rite, and you wanted to win his friends.h.i.+p for Avalon.”
The sun was nearing noon, and we were still arguing. By now, my belly was cramping not from fear but from hunger.
”You forget the third reason, and that was the most important of all,” Ganeda said grimly. ”Constantius was to engender the Child of Prophecy!”
”And so he shall, with me! In my womanhood vision I saw myself with his child!”
”But not the child of the Great Rite-” the High Priestess said grimly. ”Why do you think Aelia was intended as his consort in the ritual?”
”Because you could bend her to your will!”
”You little fool-she was chosen, indeed, but not for that reason. In your arrogance you thought you knew better than the Council of Avalon, but you were an untried maiden, ignorant of the Mother's Mysteries. Last night Aelia was at the height of her fertile time. If the Roman had lain with her she would have come away pregnant, and the child would have been born here in Avalon.”
”How do you know I am not?”
”Your moontime is barely three days past,” she answered me, ”and I have examined you. There is no spark of new life in your womb.”
”There will be. Destiny cannot be denied-” I answered, but the first breath of doubt stole the force from my words. ”Constantius has pledged his faith to me-a priestess will bear his son!”
”But when? Even now do you not understand? A child begotten last night would have preserved the Mysteries for a thousand years. Even if your fantasies were true, what stars will rule the fate of the babe you finally bear?”
”He will be my son,” I muttered. ”I will raise him to serve the G.o.ds.”
Ganeda shook her head in disgust. ”I should have sent you back to your father long since. You have been a trouble-maker since the first day you arrived!”
”You missed your chance!” I hissed, touching the crescent on my brow. ”He is dead, and I am a priestess now.”
”And,I am the Lady of Avalon!” she snapped in return, ”and your life is in my hand!”
”All your anger, Ganeda, cannot change what has been done,” I said wearily. ”At least I have won Constantius's friends.h.i.+p for Avalon.”
”And what about that which was undone? Do you think the man will come back every Beltane like a stallion to stud until he gets you with child?”
Some tension eased within me. I had feared she would forbid me ever to see him again. Surely he would come back, I told myself, and somehow I would endure until that day.
”So, what is my punishment?”
”Punishment?” There was venom in her smile. ”Did I not promise the Roman I would do you no harm?
You have chosen your own condemnation,Helena . When Constantius leaves, you shall go with him...'