Part 8 (1/2)
For a moment that grey gaze held my own. ”And what did you think I was?”
”An army man,” I answered, for thus, in vision I had seen him.
”Until a few months ago that was so.” His face darkened. ”I was born at an army post in Dacia. It is all I know, all I ever wanted to be.”
”Are you so eager for battle?” I asked curiously. He did not seem bloodthirsty, but how could I know?
”Say rather, that I want what battle can win,” he corrected. ”Justice. Order. Safety for the folk beyond the frontier so that peace can grow...” He fell silent, his ruddy skin reddening further, and I judged he was not a man who often let his feelings show.
”Your fortunes will turn,” I a.s.sured him. For a moment he eyed me uncertainly, and I reinforced the illusion that disguised me. ”But now we should sleep,” I went on. ”Tomorrow's journey will be difficult after such a storm.” But in truth, it was not the riding that had exhausted me, but the effort to conceal my essence when what I really wanted was to offer him my body and my soul.
The rain had stopped by morning, but as I had antic.i.p.ated, as the day grew warmer, the saturated ground gave up its excess moisture in wisps of fog. As we rode it grew thicker, until tree and meadow disappeared and the only thing visible was the path.
”Domina,” said Constantius, ”we must halt, before we wander from the road and end up sinking in some bog.”
”Do not be afraid. I know the way,” I answered him, and indeed, I could feel the power of Avalon drawing me forwards. We had come around by the higher ground to the north and east, where a narrow neck of land ran out to the isle.
”I am not afraid, but I am not a fool, either!” he snapped back at me. ”We will go back to the shelter and wait for the weather to clear.” He reached out to take my bridle rein.
I kicked the pony forwards and reined it sharply around. ”Flavius Constantius Chlorus, look at me!” I let the illusion of ugliness fade and called up the power of the priestess to take its place. I could tell I was succeeding when his face changed.
”Lady-” he breathed, ”now I see you as I did before...”
I wondered what he meant, as this was the first time I had used the glamour, but the power was continuing to build around me.
”I have been sent to bring you to the holy isle of Avalon. Will you come with me freely and of your own will?”
”What will I find there?” He was still staring at me.
”Your destiny...” And Aelia, I thought then. For a moment I wanted to cry out to him to turn, to flee.
”And will I return to the human world?”
”It is there that your fate will be fulfiled.” Ten years of discipline spoke through me now.
”And will you go with me? Swear!”
”I will. I swear it by my eternal soul.” Later, I told myself that I had believed he was asking if I would go with him to Avalon, but I think now that a deeper wisdom made that vow.
”Then I will come with you now.”
I turned, lifting my arms to draw down the power, and as I spoke the spell, the world changed around us, and with the next step the mist was rolling away to either side and we entered Avalon.
Since dawn the drums had throbbed through the earth of the holy isle, the heartbeat of Avalon, filled with the excitement of the festival. White hawthorn weighted the hedges, and creamy primroses and bluebells flourished beneath the trees. It was Beltane eve, and all the world trembled with expectation. All but Aelia, who was trembling with fear.
”Why has the G.o.ddess laid this upon me?” she whispered, curled upon the bed that had been hers while we awaited initiation. There were currently no priestesses in training, and they had given the house to us to prepare the Beltane Bride for the festival.
”I do not know,” I answered her. ”But we have been taught that often Her reasons for setting our feet upon a path are not apparent until we reach its ending...” I spoke for my own sake as much as for hers.
In the three days since I had brought Constantius to the isle I had not seen him, but he haunted my dreams.
Aelia shook her head. ”I never intended to go to the Beltane fires. I would happily have lived a virgin until my life's end!”
I put my arms around her and rocked her gently. Our unbound hair mingled on the pillow, dark gold and light. ”Constantius will not hurt you, darling. I rode with him for two days-he is a gentleman...”
”He is a man!”
”Why did you not tell them of your fear when they chose you?” I stroked her hair. And why, I asked myself, had the lot not fallen on me?
”We swore obedience to the Council at our initiation. I thought they must know best...”
I sighed, understanding how it must have been. Of us all, Aelia had always been the most biddable. For the first time I wondered it the lot had fallen upon her entirely by chance.
”They said the G.o.ddess would give me the strength to do it, but I am afraid... Help me, Eilan! Help me to escape this, or I will drown myself in the sacred pool!”
I stilled, understanding in a single instant how I might fulfil both her desire and my own. Or perhaps I had already planned it in some secret part of my soul, and only now, like some moulting insect hidden in the soil, had the idea emerged into the light of day. Justifications came easily-Aelia was the choice not of the G.o.ddess, but of Ganeda. All that was required was a virgin priestess.
It did not matter who she was, so long as she came willingly to the fire. And the subst.i.tution would be so easy. Though she was paler in colouring than I, and thinner as well, Aelia and I were enough alike for newcomers to mistake us. The younger girls nicknamed us the sun and the moon.
The one reason I did not give myself was the true one-that Constantius Chlorus wasmine , and it would be like death to see him lead another woman to the bridal bower.
”Ssh... be easy...” I kissed Aelia's soft hair. ”Both the Bride and her attendants go veiled to the ceremony. We will exchange clothing and I will take your place in the ritual.”
Aelia sat up, gazing at me wide-eyed. ”But if you disobey, Ganeda will punish you!”
”It doesn't matter...” I answered.Not once I have spent the night in Constantius' arms !
The firelight, seen through the sheer linen of my veil and the screen of branches, filled the circle with a golden haze. Or perhaps it was the aura of power that the dancers were raising, for with each circuit around the bonfire it grew stronger. All the folk of Avalon were here in the meadow at the foot of the Tor, and most of the people from the Lake village as well. My whole body vibrated as the earth shook to their footfalls, or perhaps it was the beating of my heart. I could feel the dancing building to its crescendo.
Soon... I thought, licking dry lips. It would be soon...
The other maidens s.h.i.+fted restlessly on the bench beside me, Heron and Aelia and Wren, all of us clad alike in green gowns and veils and garlands of spring flowers. But only I bore the hawthorn crown. My skin still tingled from the water of the sacred pool, for we had all helped to bathe Aelia, and in the process been cleansed ourselves. I had shared her fast and her vigil; all the ritual requirements had been completed. This subst.i.tution might be disobedience, but at least it would not be sacrilege.
”The Roman has been bathed and prepared as well,” said Ganeda, who waited with us. ”When he arrives, you will be brought out to him. Together, you will partake of the sacred food, and together you will enter the bower on the far side of the dancing floor. You are a virgin field, in which he will sow the seed that will engender the Child of the Prophecy.”
”And what will I give to him?” I whispered.
”In the outer world, the female is pa.s.sive while the male initiates action. But on the inner planes, it is otherwise. I have spoken with this young man, and at present fortune does not smile upon him. It is for you to awaken his spirit, to arouse and activate the higher soul within him, that he may fulfil his own destiny and become the Restorer of the Light for Britannia.”
I dared not ask more, lest my voice be recognized, and then I heard a change in the drumming and my throat began to ache so with tension that I could not have spoken if I had tried.
The Druids were coming in, their white robes washed with gold by the firelight, wreaths of oak leaves upon their hair. But as I watched I caught a glimpse of brighter gold among them. The people were cheering; the air throbbed with wave upon wave of sound. Dizzied, I shut my eyes, and when I opened them again I blinked, dazzled by the golden figure who stood before the fire.
As my sight adjusted I saw that it was only a saffron tunic to which the light had added a deeper gold, but the wreath that crowned Constantius was fas.h.i.+oned of the true metal, like that of an emperor. I realized that when I had last seen him, splashed with mud and worn out by our battle with the storm, Constantius had not been at his best either. Now, his skin glowed against the tunic, and his fair hair was as bright as the wreath of gold.
”He is Lugos come among us,” breathed Heron.