Part 34 (1/2)

Chapter Thirty-Three.

Helena ”Turkey on white okay?” I call out to Asher as he works on my leaking showerhead.

He calls back from the bathroom, ”What the f.u.c.k ever.” His New York accent thickens when he spouts, ”I'm starvin' here.”

Nat laughs at something on TV, sitting on my sofa, eating chips from the bag, while I go ahead and work on feeding her apparently famished husband. How famished he is, I couldn't tell. It seems Max, Ash, Nik, and Trick eat almost all day long. I'm not even sure how Mama Leokov wasn't eaten out of house and home.

As I grab the Turkey and mayo from the refrigerator, I side-eye Nat, biting the inside of my cheek. I know I shouldn't say anything, that it isn't my business to tell, but the longer I think about it, the faster my heart beats. It beats faster and faster, when suddenly I blurt out, ”I need to tell you something and it's important, but you're likely to overreact, and I'm sure she would just tell you if she was sure you wouldn't overreact and blab to Mom and Dad, but we know you, and you have a tendency to overreact, dammit.”

Nat turns to me slowly, searching my face. ”What the h.e.l.l are you talking about, Cheech?”

I slap the bread on top of the sandwich and growl, ”You're so slow. I actually can't believe you don't know this already. Granted, I shouldn't know, but I did some detective work and found out, because I f.u.c.king care.” I glare at her. ”Don't you care?”

Her brows rise to her hairline before she calls out to the bathroom, ”Ash, baby, I think we need to take Helena to the hospital or some s.h.i.+t.”

He calls back, ”She bleeding?”

Nat looks over me. ”No, but she's talking crazy.”

He grunts, ”She is crazy.”

I glower at the bathroom door. ”Crazy like a fox!”

Nat chuckles before asking, ”What are you talking about, Lena?”

I make a sound of exasperation. ”Nina.” Nat's face tells me she clearly doesn't know what the eff I'm talking about. I roll my eyes, throw my arms out by my sides, and boom, ”She's gay!”

Her eyes widen in disbelief a moment before she bursts into laughter. She laughs and laughs and coughs then laughs some more. But I'm not laughing. I look at her with a firm eye, and slowly, her laughter dies. After a moment, she sputters, ”Are you joking? You're not joking, are you?” She chuckles humorlessly. ”Why do you think she's gay?”

I look her in the eye and utter, ”The simple fact she has a girlfriend.”

Nat's eyes widen comically a moment before she jumps up from the sofa and paces, clearly shocked. ”A girlfriend? What the f.u.c.k? How do you know this?”

I tip my head to the side. ”Like I said, I did my research.”

She turns to face me with her hands on her hips, looking more hurt than I've ever seen. ”And she would hide this from me? Like I'd give a flying f.u.c.k if she preferred tuna to a hot beef injection? Why would she hide this?”

Leaning my hip against the counter, I purse my lips. ”I think she'd hide this, because of Mom and Dad.”

Nat looks up at me, determined, but her voice is small and unsure. ”Mom and Dad wouldn't care. They love her. They love us.”

My mom and dad are from Eastern Europe, one of the only places left in the world that is still ridiculously h.o.m.ophobic. I love my mom and dad, but on this issue, I'm not sure they would be okay with it. I raise my brow. ”You so confident that you would put money on that?”

At that moment, Ash walks out of the bathroom, wiping his hands on a rag. ”Done. Now feed me, woman.”

Smiling, I hand him his plate. ”Thank you, best brother-in-law ever.”

Taking a bite out of his sandwich, he raises it in the air in acknowledgement and jerks his chin at me, but Nat stands there looking more confused by the minute. She turns to Ash and asks, ”Did you know about this?”

He swallows before scratching his brow. ”That Nina's a rug-muncher?” He nods, completely oblivious. ”Yeah. So?”

Oh my G.o.dfather, Ash. Has no one taught you anything about women? Deny, deny, deny!

Nat's turns to her husband in false calm. ”You didn't think I should know about this?”

Sitting on the sofa, he reaches into the bag of chips and shoves some into his mouth, then garbles, ”If she wanted you to know, she'd have told you, baby.”

Face turning a nice shade of p.i.s.sed-the-h.e.l.l-off, she reaches into her back pocket, pulls out her cell, presses a few b.u.t.tons, and then holds the phone to her ear. My eyes widen.

Uh oh.

After a few seconds, she screams into the phone, ”You like taco and you never told me?”

As Nat continues to hurl weirdly supportive abuse at Nina through the power of telecommunication, Ash chuckles at me. ”Oh, now you've done it.”

I wince. Yikes. Reaching for my own cell, I type out a quick message, hoping she won't be p.i.s.sed.

Me: Um...surprise?

A moment later, my display lights up and I mope.

Nina: You are so f.u.c.king dead, bro.

Nat paces, flailing her arms animatedly and rambling, ”...because, hey, I know lesbians! I'm totally cool with lesbians! What I'm not cool with is my lesbian sister hiding her s.e.xuality from me like I'm a G.o.dd.a.m.n anti-lesbite!” She pauses in her tracks, listening, before her brows narrow dangerously and she fires back, ”It totally is a word! Google it!”

I look over at Ash and mutter, ”You think she really didn't know?”

He looks over at me, brows raised, before looking at the scene his wife is making, then looks back to the TV, reaching for more chips. ”She really didn't know.”

Nat sighs. ”I'm not going to tell them. Relax, Max. But it would've been nice for you to tell me yourself and for me not to have found out through the youngest Kovac sp.a.w.n.” She smiles softly and I know Nina is apologizing to her, probably by calling her a moron for not working it out sooner. ”So I hear you've got yourself a girl, huh? What's her name?” Nat laughs. ”Amelia. Nice. Sounds like she's a real lady.” She grins. ”So does that make you the man in the relations.h.i.+p?” Her smile falls. ”h.e.l.lo? Nina?” She holds up her cell, looking irate. ”b.i.t.c.h hung up on me!”

I shrug and tip my head slightly. ”Calling a woman a man will do that.”

Nat stares down at the phone as if it offends her, and even though she's acting like a t.u.r.d, I know she's happy to be in the know. Maybe Nat finding out isn't so bad. Pus.h.i.+ng her cell back into her pocket, she mumbles through a pout, ”Sensitive beaver-eating mole.”

Uh, yeah. Okay. Maybe not.

Helena When Max told me he and I were going out on a date, I prepared myself for the best date ever. That was my first mistake. My second mistake was building it up in my head. And when I say I built it up, I mean I made it into the freaking Eiffel tower. Then he came to pick me up dressed in dark jeans, a black b.u.t.ton-up s.h.i.+rt untucked, his white sneakers, and his too-long-to-be-tamed hair carefully tousled, and my heart let out a long, dreamy sigh.

By that point, my engine was already revving. I sashayed over to him, smiling innocently, like a wolf in sheep's clothing, hoping for a taste of what was to come later in the night. His bright smile faltered when I pressed myself against him, leaning up to kiss under his jaw, letting my hand linger on the silver belt buckle at the waist of his jeans.

He cleared his throat before he rasped, ”What are you doing, cupcake?”