Part 37 (2/2)

=The usual course for engaged couples= to take is to go as little into society as possible during their engagement, and to make the engagement as brief as circ.u.mstances will permit. If from various causes it must of necessity be a long one, the only alternative for an engaged couple is to render themselves as little conspicuous in general society as a mutual understanding will permit.

=When an engagement is first announced=, if the families are not previously acquainted, the father, mother, and relatives of the bridegroom-elect should call on the father and mother of the bride-elect at an early date, to make the acquaintance of the bride and her family, and they should write to the bride-elect expressing their approval of the engagement.

The calls should be returned and the letters answered with the least possible delay.

The engagement should be announced to relatives and intimate friends by the mother of the engaged young lady, and if the announcement is to appear in the papers it should be sent by her.

The bride should ask the sisters and cousins of the bridegroom to act as bridesmaids in conjunction with her own sisters and cousins.

When an engagement is broken off, all letters and presents should be returned on both sides.

All wedding presents received by the bride-elect should be likewise returned to the donors.

The mother of the bride should announce to all whom it may concern, the fact that the engagement is at an end.

CHAPTER XLIV

SILVER WEDDINGS

The German custom of celebrating Silver Weddings has become thoroughly recognised in this country. It is an interesting custom to celebrate the first twenty-five years of married life under the poetic t.i.tle of a Silver Wedding, but those who can do so must be for many reasons the few, rather than the many; Royal personages, and distinguished and prominent ones for instance, and again, those in humbler walks of life ”far from the madding crowd,” are also inclined to do so; but the ”crowd” that divides them, formed of different cla.s.ses and different sets in society, will hardly avail itself of the opportunity of celebrating this period of married life. Husbands as a rule dislike the fuss and parade and prominency it entails, and wives are disinclined to announce to their friends and acquaintances that they have been married five and twenty years, and are consequently not so young as they were.

=The entertainments given to celebrate a Silver Wedding= are: An afternoon reception and a dinner-party. A dinner-party followed by an evening-party. A dinner-party followed by a dance. Or a dinner-party only, of some twenty or thirty covers.

The invitations are issued on ”at home” cards some three weeks beforehand, the cards being printed in silver, and the words ”Mr. and Mrs. White at home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding” printed on them, with day and date, etc. The dinner cards should also be printed in silver, with the words ”Mr. and Mrs. White request the pleasure of Mr.

and Mrs. Black's company at dinner to celebrate their Silver Wedding,”

etc.

For a dance the invitations should be worded ”Mr. and Mrs. White at home, To celebrate their Silver Wedding.” ”Dancing” printed in the corner of the card.

=Each person invited= is expected to send a present in silver, costly or trifling as the case may be, whether the invitation is accepted or not.

These presents should be exhibited in the drawing-room on the day of the Silver Wedding with a card attached to each bearing the name of the giver.

At the afternoon reception the husband and wife receive the congratulations of their friends as they arrive. They enter the tea-room together almost immediately afterwards followed by those guests who have arrived. Refreshments are served as at an afternoon wedding tea. (See page 143.) A large wedding-cake is placed in the centre of the table, and the wife makes the first cut in it as a bride would do. The health of the husband and wife is then proposed by one of the guests, drunk in champagne, and responded to by the husband.

At the dinner-party the husband and wife go in to dinner together, followed by their guests, who are sent in according to precedency. The health of the husband and wife is proposed at dessert and responded to.

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