Part 3 (2/2)

It is usual for a gentleman to leave his cards on the host or on the hostess, after every entertainment to which he has been invited by them, whether it be a dinner-party, or ball, or ”at home,” etc. Whether he has been present or not, the fact of his having been invited by them obliges him to pay them this civility, although great lat.i.tude as regards time is now accorded in general society with regard to this particular rule.

If invited by a new acquaintance, the cards should be left a few days after the entertainment, but if by a less recent acquaintance they should be left within ten days or a fortnight, but the earlier the cards are left the greater the politeness shown.

If a bachelor acquaintance gives an entertainment, the same rule applies as to the necessity of cards being left on him by those gentlemen but slightly acquainted with him who have been invited to the entertainment.

When a gentleman has been invited to an entertainment given at the house of a new acquaintance, whether the acquaintance be a lady or a gentleman, it would be etiquette for him to leave his card upon them on their arrival in town or elsewhere, even though they may not have invited him to any subsequent entertainment given by them within the year. If during the following year they do not again invite him, he might consider the acquaintance at an end and cease to call. These complimentary calls made, or rather cards left, should not average more than four during the year.

=Memorial Cards= are out of date in society, and consequently should not be sent to either relatives or friends.

A widow should not make use of her christian name on her visiting cards to distinguish her from other members of her late husband's family. Her cards should be printed as during his lifetime.

FOOTNOTES:

[1] It is, however, permissible on the occasion of a _first_ call to say, ”I shall leave my card in the hall to remind you of my address”; or some such phrase.

CHAPTER IV

PAYING CALLS

Ladies stand upon strict and ceremonious etiquette with each other as regards both paying and receiving calls. Ignorance or neglect of the rules which regulate paying calls, brings many inconveniences in its train; for instance, when a lady neglects to pay a call due to an acquaintance, she runs the risk of herself and daughters being excluded from entertainments given by the said acquaintance.

When a call has not been made within a reasonable time, a coldness is apt to arise between ladies but slightly acquainted with each other.

Some ladies take this omission good-naturedly or indifferently, while with others the acquaintance merges into a mere bowing acquaintance to be subsequently dropped altogether.

The first principle of calling is, that those who are the first to arrive in town should be the _first_ to call upon their acquaintances to intimate their return.

”Morning calls,” so designated on account of their being made before dinner, are, more strictly speaking, ”afternoon calls,” as they should only be made between the hours of three and six o'clock.

Calls made in the morning--that is before one o'clock--would not come under the denomination of ”morning calls,” as they can only be made by intimate friends and not by acquaintances, and are not, therefore, amenable to the rules of etiquette which govern the afternoon calls, which calls are regulated in a great measure--as to the hour of calling--by the exact degree of intimacy existing between the person who calls and the person called upon. From three to four o'clock is the ceremonious hour for calling; from four to five o'clock is the semi-ceremonious hour; and from five to six o'clock is the wholly friendly and without ceremony hour.

If a lady is driving when she calls at the house of an acquaintance, she should say to her servant, ”Ask if Mrs. A---- is at home.”

When a lady is walking, she should ask the same question herself.

When the answer is in the negative, she should leave one of her own cards and one of her husband's, and should say to the servant, ”For Mr.

and Mrs. A----.”

When the answer is in the affirmative, the lady should enter the house without further remark and follow the servant to the drawing-room.

The servant should go before the visitor, to lead the way to the drawing-room, and, however accustomed a visitor may be to a house, it is still the proper etiquette for the servant to lead the way, and announce him or her to his mistress; and this rule should not be dispensed with, except in the case of very near relations or very intimate friends.

At the drawing-room door the servant waits for a moment until the visitor has reached the landing, when the visitor should give his or her name to the servant, ”Mr. A----” or ”Mrs. A----,” should the servant be unacquainted with it.

<script>