Part 11 (2/2)

I'm not sure what all happened after that, but I woke up to the sound of the alarm on my cell phone going off at 6am. I must have set it to wake me up in time to watch the sunrise, GLL Challenge #14.

I was on one of the chaise lounges by the pool. I didn't know who did it, either me or Jake, but one of us had pulled another chair right up against mine and that was where Jake was starting to wake up from the sound of my alarm. We were both covered up by a quilt my mom had made years ago.

”What happened?” I asked him. I felt very groggy after only two hours of sleep and I thought I might still be a little drunk, too. I noticed a bottle of water and a bottle of Tylenol sitting on the plastic end table next to my chair. Thank you, Magic Hangover Genie. I swallowed two pills and handed both bottles to Jake, who gladly accepted them.

”Nothing,” he told me. ”You pa.s.sed out as soon as you sat down.” He took two pills and then stretched his arms and neck.

”I thought you didn't want to sleep outside.”

”I wasn't gonna leave you out here by yourself.”

”Did you bring the blanket?”

He nodded.

”And the water and pills?”

He nodded again.

”Oh,” was all I said. Sometimes it was hard to believe anyone could be as nice as Jake. I knew bringing a blanket to a sleeping person was something a lot of people would have done, but having been with a man who wasn't very nice to me for so long, I just wasn't used to it. But I could definitely get used to it. ”Thanks.”

”No big deal.”

”Want to watch the sunrise with me before we go inside?” I asked.

”I know a place where can get a better view,” he said. ”Let's go for a ride.”

We grabbed the blanket and got into his Jeep. I knew where we were going, but I acted surprised when he pulled into my lot, our lot, with not a minute to spare.

I tucked my legs under me, covered us both up with the quilt, and leaned my head on his shoulder from the pa.s.senger seat. As we watched the stars vanish and the pink sun light up the sky, I truly realized how deeply I'd missed him these last few years. It felt more important than ever that I didn't lose him as my friend. I wanted to tell him then how much I'd missed him and how glad I was that he was a part of my life again. I should have. But I didn't.

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

A few days later I slept until 11am like the slacker I was. I did what I did every morning (or afternoon) when I woke up. I went downstairs for coffee. But when I walked into the kitchen I nearly screamed out loud.

There was a girl in the kitchen. She had her back to me and was standing on her tiptoes on one of our barstools, reaching into the top shelf of a cupboard. She had long, dark, wavy hair and was wearing what looked like a men's light blue b.u.t.ton-up s.h.i.+rt with the sleeves rolled up to her elbows and no pants. Either she was wearing no underwear at all, or she had on a thong because her bare b.u.t.t cheeks were sticking out from under the s.h.i.+rt. From the back she was perfection. It was as if a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader was standing in my kitchen.

She turned to look at me when she heard me come in and when she did, the front of her s.h.i.+rt opened to reveal some side-b.o.o.b. No, she was not wearing a bra under her s.h.i.+rt. And yes, her face was just as perfect as her b.u.t.t. Lucky b.i.t.c.h.

”Hi!” she said in a way-too-perky voice. She probably really was a cheerleader. ”You must be Adam's little sister!”

Being called a ”little sister” by someone who was probably a decade younger than me was a bit condescending and annoying, but I was so glad she was with my brother and not Jake that I let her comment slide and breathed a big sigh of relief. Not that I wanted to see my brother's s.e.xual conquests naked in my kitchen and, trust me, he would hear about it later, but it was a billion times better than seeing Jake's s.e.xual conquests, even if they were fully dressed in ugly, baggy clothes with dirty hair and no makeup. Because even that would suck. Seeing that Jake hooked up with a girl this hot in the same house where I was sleeping a bedroom away, would kill me. Just because I had stopped our sequel from happening, didn't mean I was ready to see him with someone else.

”Jake's told me so much about you!” she continued as she hopped off the stool (she was wearing a thong thank you, G.o.d!) and held out her hand, which opened the s.h.i.+rt even more and revealed her perfectly perky C-cups.

Before I even knew what was happening, Jake stood up from behind the kitchen island and set his camera down on it.

”Good morning, Rox,” he said, smiling like nothing was wrong with this scenario at all, ”Or is it afternoon yet?”

I was so confused. Why was there a mostly naked girl in my kitchen? Where was my brother? Why was Jake hiding behind the island? What did I walk in on? Who the h.e.l.l was this girl?

”I'm Carmen, by the way,” Miss Perky-In-Every-Way said, as if she read my mind.

Carmen! Carmen was the girl Adam asked Jake about that one night! Carmen must be one of Jake's flings one that began way before I arrived in Michigan and was apparently still going on.

I knew I wasn't Jake's girlfriend, but I never imagined I was merely a fling within a fling!

I'm so stupid! What was I thinking getting involved with him again? He's still the same different-DNA-on-the-sheets-every-week guy he's always been. I can't believe I was so effing stupid to think he ever cared about me!

I knew all along things would not end well. Jake was a dead-end road! He didn't do relations.h.i.+ps. I was never going to be anything more to him than a convenient live-in lay so it was a good thing I put an end to it. Ugh, why do I have to be so stupid sometimes?

I didn't say anything in the kitchen. I was speechless. I kept looking from one to the other, waiting for some logical explanation that had nothing to do with s.e.x an explanation I knew would not be coming, because there was no other explanation for this.

As irrational and childish as it was, I had the urge to pick up his camera and smash it on the floor. I wanted to throw something, and break something, and hurt something he cared about it because I felt so hurt inside.

I didn't shake the hand she held out. She eventually dropped it and used it to close her s.h.i.+rt. Then she also looked back and forth between Jake and me. She looked confused. I bet.

Confrontations were not my style. Even if I could've a.s.sembled some comprehensive thoughts and formed complete sentences at that time (and I couldn't), I wouldn't have started anything with either of them. As I turned around and walked out of the kitchen, I held my chin high, so as not to look like the desolate loser I felt like.

Once I was out of the kitchen and safe from their view, I ran up the stairs, into my room and closed the door before the tears began to fall.

Why did I ever think it was a good idea to come here? I was looking for a fresh start but all I did was move backwards! I've been here a month, and I'm no closer to a so-called better life than I was when I got here. I have no job, no life, and no purpose. I'm like a waste of s.p.a.ce on the couch. In fact, if Jake and Adam threw a piece of leather over me, I could BE the couch!

I'd only met with Violet twice, but didn't seem to be making a difference to her since she had just been caught stealing lip-gloss from CVS. I couldn't go to school for another year. I was too embarra.s.sed to get a job because the only job I knew how to do was one that I was ashamed of. I never saw my brother because of his work. My BFF had a life of her own. And the cherry on top of this s.h.i.+t-sundae was that I'd had s.e.x unprotected s.e.x with the biggest player in Ann Arbor who had just made a fool of me in my own house! One thing I probably had was an STD. One thing I definitely did not have was a future here in Ann Arbor, and there was no reason for me to be here. No reason at all.

I pulled a weekender bag out of my closet and started mindlessly throwing things into it as tears fell freely down my face and burned my cheeks. As much as I would love to go back home to NYC, I knew I couldn't afford it. There was only one place I could think to go Florida. Maybe my dad could pull some strings and get me a late acceptance into the MSW program at his school ... if they even had an MSW program. I knew my parents would let me stay at their condo until I could get on my feet and get my own place. I wouldn't mind being a barmaid on a beach. For some reason, serving drinks on a beach seemed a lot more sophisticated and respectable than serving drinks to a bunch of drunk and arrogant college kids in Ann Arbor. Yes, I could totally do this. I could move and get a real fresh start, not just an opportunity to remake mistakes all over again. Not a re-do, but a clean slate.

”Rox?” Jake tapped on the door.

No. He couldn't see me crying. He couldn't know how hurt I was about the cheerleader in the kitchen. I couldn't let him see how much I cared. He could never know. I took a deep breath and tried to keep my voice steady.

”I can't talk right now, Jake,” I said. ”I'm not dressed.”

”It's not like I haven't seen you naked before.”

Don't remind me, a.s.shole! What a jerk thing to say right now!

I took another deep breath to keep my voice from wavering. ”Please get away from my room, Jake. I do not wish to speak with you.”

”You do not wish to speak with me?” he mocked me. ”Why are you talking like a robot? Are you okay? You know that wasn't what it looked like.”

If I wasn't so upset I would have laughed out loud at that overused line. ”I'm fine,” I said in my calm robot voice. ”Please let me be alone right now.”

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