Volume VII Part 4 (1/2)

2

My Feet they haul me 'round the House; They hoist me up the Stairs; I only have to steer them and They ride me everywheres.

3

Remarkable truly, is Art!

See--Elliptical wheels on a Cart!

It looks very fair In the Picture up there; But imagine the Ride when you start!

4

I'd rather have fingers than Toes; I'd rather have Ears than a Nose And as for my hair, I'm glad it's all there, I'll be awfully sad when it goes!

5

I wish that my Room had a floor; I don't so much care for a Door, But this walking around Without touching the ground Is getting to be quite a bore!

THE SIEGE OF DJKLXPRWBZ

BY IRONQUILL

Before a Turkish town The Russians came, And with huge cannon Did bombard the same.

They got up close And rained fat bombsh.e.l.ls down, And blew out every Vowel in the town.

And then the Turks, Becoming somewhat sad, Surrendered every Consonant they had.

THE GOAT

BY R.K. MUNKITTRICK

Down in the cellar dark, remote, Where alien cats the larder note, In solemn grandeur stands the goat.

Without he hears the winter storm, And while the drafts about him swarm, He eats the coal to keep him warm.

IN DEFENSE OF AN OFFERING

BY SEWELL FORD