Volume VII Part 3 (1/2)
”Holt!” exclaimed Carrington, when the train carriage was announced, ”you've been a brick about all this. I don't know how to show my appreciation.”
”I'll tell you how,” suggested Presidio. ”Let Mr. Holt be the one to tell Mr. Curtis. He deserves the privilege of informing the governor.”
”The very thing, Holt, old chap!” cried Carrington. ”Will you do it?”
”You're awfully kind,” answered Holt, ”but I think this old friend could do it with more art and understanding.”
”What, my Willie?” cried Willie's wife. ”He'll do it to the Queen's taste. Won't you, Willie?”
”I will, in company with Mr. Holt--my friend and your admirer. He sits in front every night,” he added, in explanation to Carrington.
As the carriage with the happy pair drove away to the station, Presidio, with compulsive ardor, took the arm of Mr. Francis Holt; and together they marched up the avenue to inform Mr. Curtis of the marriage of his daughter.
TWO CASES OF GRIP
BY M. QUAD
”What's this! What's this!” exclaimed Mr. Bowser, as he came home the other evening and found Mrs. Bowser lying on the sofa and looking very much distressed.
”The doctor says it's the grip--a second attack,” she explained. ”I was taken with a chill and headache about noon and--”
”Grip? Second attack? That's all nonsense, Mrs. Bowser! n.o.body can have the grip a second time.”
”But the doctor says so.”
”Then the doctor is an idiot, and I'll tell him so to his face. I know what's the matter with you. You've been walking around the backyard barefoot or doing some other foolish thing. I expected it, however. No woman is happy unless she's flat down about half the time. How on earth any of your s.e.x manage to live to be twenty years old is a mystery to me. The average woman has no more sense than a rag baby.”
”I haven't been careless,” she replied.
”I know better! Of course you have! If you hadn't been you wouldn't be where you are. Grip be hanged! Well, it's only right that you should suffer for it. Call it what you wish, but don't expect any sympathy from me. While I use every precaution to preserve my health, you go slos.h.i.+ng around in your bare feet, or sit on a cake of ice to read a dime novel, or do some other tomfool thing to flatten you out. I refuse to sympathize with you, Mrs. Bowser--absolutely and teetotally refuse to utter one word of pity.”
Mrs. Bowser had nothing to say in reply. Mr. Bowser ate his dinner alone, took advantage of the occasion to drive a few nails and make a great noise, and by and by went off to his club and was gone until midnight. Next morning Mrs. Bowser felt a bit better and made a heroic attempt to be about until he started for the office.
The only reference he made to her illness was to say:
”If you live to be three hundred years old, you may possibly learn something about the laws of health and be able to keep out of bed three days in a week.”
Mrs. Bowser was all right at the end of three or four days, and nothing more was said. Then one afternoon at three o'clock a carriage drove up and a stranger a.s.sisted Mr. Bowser into the house. He was looking pale and ghastly, and his chin quivered, and his knees wabbled.
”What is it, Mr. Bowser?” she exclaimed, as she met him at the door.
”Bed--doctor--death!” he gasped in reply.
Mrs. Bowser got him to bed and examined him for bullet holes or knife wounds. There were none. He had no broken limbs. He hadn't fallen off a horse or been half drowned. When she had satisfied herself on these points, she asked: