Volume IV Part 22 (1/2)

”Come, neighbors, let us congratulate them. You begin.”

”Keep out of disagreeable company,” said the bronze Monk-reading-a-book.

”That is not congratulation; that is advice,” said the Cat-made-of-worsted. ”Never mind, go on, my dear,”--to the Parian girl.

”What! nothing to say? Then I'll say it for you. 'Friends, may your love last as long as your courts.h.i.+p.' Now I'll congratulate you.”

But before he could speak, the Audience got up.

”You shall not say a word. It must end happily.”

He went to the mantel-piece and took up the China-girl-rising-out-of-a-pen-wiper.

”Why, she has legs after all,” said he.

”They're false,” said the Cat-made-of-worsted. ”They're false. I know it. I'm fifty years old. I never saw true ones on her.”

The Audience paid no attention, but took up the Boy-leaning-against-a-greyhound.

”Ha!” said the Cat-made-of-worsted. ”Come. I like this. He's hollow.

They're all hollow. He! he! Neighbor Monk, you're hollow. He! he!” and the Cat-made-of-worsted never stopped grinning. The Audience lifted the gla.s.s case from him and set it over the Boy-leaning-against-a-greyhound and the China-girl-rising-out-of-a-pen-wiper.

”Be happy!” said he.

”Happy!” said the Cat-made-of-worsted. ”Happy!”

Still they were happy.

THE AUTOCRAT OF THE BREAKFAST TABLE

BY OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES

It is not easy, at the best, for two persons talking together to make the most of each other's thoughts, there are so many of them.

[The company looked as if they wanted an explanation.]

When John and Thomas, for instance, are talking together, it is natural enough that among the six there should be more or less confusion and misapprehension.

[Our landlady turned pale;--no doubt she thought there was a screw loose in my intellects,--and that involved the probable loss of a boarder. A severe-looking person, who wears a Spanish cloak and a sad cheek, fluted by the pa.s.sions of the melodrama, whom I understand to be the professional ruffian of the neighboring theater, alluded, with a certain lifting of the brow, drawing down of the corners of the mouth and somewhat rasping _voce di petti_, to Falstaff's nine men in buckram.

Everybody looked up. I believe the old gentleman opposite was afraid I should seize the carving-knife; at any rate, he slid it to one side, as it were carelessly.]

I think, I said, I can make it plain to Benjamin Franklin here, that there are at least six personalities distinctly to be recognized as taking part in that dialogue between John and Thomas.

{ 1. The real John; known only to his Maker.

{ 2. John's ideal John; never the real one, and often Three Johns { very unlike him.