Part 27 (2/2)

But the question of questions is, Is the doctrine true? The _heart_ says it is, and even the intellect acknowledges that there are ten thousand appearances in nature which cannot be accounted for on any other principle We cannot at present dwell on the subject; but the doctrine of Jesus with regard to God and i, and is the then the soul to duty, and to cheer and support it under suffering, that the mind of man can conceive

And then as to Jesus Himself, the love and the reverence hich He is honored by so large a portion of the foremost nations of the earth, are no mistake,--no accident They are the natural result of His worth and excellency They are the natural response of the generous heart of hureatest Benefactor The devoutest love, the liveliest gratitude, the richest honors, the costliest offerings are his,--He deserves them all And His na as the sun and ood Men will even die for them What wonder then that Jesus should be so loved? What wonder that so ues should praise Him, so many hearts adore Him, and so many nations bow before Him, and accept Him as their Lord? For He devoted Himself to the service, not of a class or a nation, but of the world The sick, the poor, the ignorant, the fallen; the little innocent children, the wronged and outcast woan, the obnoxious publican, the youthful prodigal, the dying penitent, the cruel persecutor, all shared His love, His pity, and His prayers He lived, He taught, He died for all

20 The first Christians that invited me to preach were the Methodist Reformers of Wolverhampton The next were the Primitive Methodists of Tunstall and Bilston The Primitive Methodists at Tunstall invited me to join their community, and as soon as I consistently could, I did so I was afterwards accepted as a local preacher My labors as a preacher and lecturer have been mostly in connection with that community I was specially struck with the zeal, the labors, and the usefulness of the Primitive Methodists while on my way from the wilds of error; and my intercourse with its ministers and members since I became a Christian, has proved toI have received froreatest kindness: and I pray God that Ito thereat sacrifices to make when I renounced my connection with the unbelievers and became a Christian, and for some time I and ive up our old business, and it seemed impossible to obtain a new one, and for a time ere threatened with the bitterness of want We were unwilling to ask a favor of any Christian party, lest ourChristianity should be suspected; and at times I felt perplexed and sad

One dayI was depressed, said, ”Father, dear, don't be troubled We must trust in God now I _do_ trust in Him; and I am so happy to think that we are all Christians, that I can bear anything” God bless his dear good soul We did trust in God, and He sustained us He supplied our wants He overruled all things for our good And we can now say, ”The lines have fallen to us in pleasant places; we have a goodly heritage”

22 I have met with some unpleasantnesses since my return to Christ; but I a; and for the present they shall res of a very pleasant character Thousands that followed me into doubt have co, were saved by my conversion I believe I may say thousands of unbelievers that were not led into doubt by hministers have been kept from rash and ruinous steps by the story of thened in their faith and encouraged in their Christian labors under my sermons and lectures Many have been benefited by reatly comforted and blessed The power of the infidel class has been diree of happiness that I never enjoyed while the slave of doubt and unbelief And it is a great consolation to think that I was brought to God while in th, and that I have now been permitted to spend from eleven to twelve years in the work of Christ

Another great comfort is, that ive some proof of my devotion to the cause of Christ; of ion of Christ, both to the miserable philosophy of unbelief, and to the wretched fictions of ignorant or anti-Christian divines

23 I read quite a multitude of books on ive some account of the influence which soe, but I had sunk below the level of ancient Paganis to a consciousness that I rong, were Pagan works I read much in Plato and Aristotle, Cicero and Seneca, for a time, and then in Plutarch, M A Antonine, and Epictetus The works of Epictetus, with the coly profitable I then read the writings of Theodore Parker, Dr Channing, and soood from all They all helped to inspire then my faith in God, and in His boundless and eternal love I next read a nu with those that were so backwards, to those which were Christian I then read freelyHooker, Baxter, and Howe; Jeremy Taylor, William Law, and Bishop Butler I read Shakespeare freely, and Pope, and then Tho, and Cowper, and Tennyson, and several others of our poets Then came the works of Carlyle, Burke, Penn, and Wesley; of Robert Hall, and Dr Cooke, and Mr

Newton; and the writings of Paley and Grotius I also read Guizot's _History of Civilization_, and those portions of Dr Henry's _History of England_ that referred to the Church and Christianity Still later I read Augustine's _Confessions_, Montale I could find to illustrate the history of Christianity

I was delighted, transported, with many of Wesley's hymns I found in the, I had never found in thereat pleasure, as well as several collections of hymns and poetry by Roundell Pals of Chaly, and the works of several other authors on that subject

At a later period I read soe, and others on the life of Christ Still later I read Young's _Christ of History_, with Renan and _Ecce homo_ Renan triedspirit of Voltaire, and I laid the book aside before I got to the end _Ecce holy I read it a dozen tiood It both strengthened my faith in Christ, and increased my love to Him Still later I read _Ecce Deus_ with pleasure and profit

The book however that did ood was the Bible I ca fountain, and drank of its waters with ever-increasing delight

24 I began to preach before I was fit; but I never un I beca while unfit Andto ainst me at first; but not ave place to confidence and kind feeling Soht to remain silent a few years; but as I did not knohat a few years or even a few days ht it best to speak at once I had spoken freely enough on the wrong side, and I saw no reason why I should not speak as freely and at once on the right side Nor do I regret the course I took It was the best Soht otherwise at first, think as I do now For instance, when Mr Everett first heard that some of his friends had invited ht never to speak or showas I lived In less than four years he came to hear me, was much affected, shook me by the hand, thanked me, invited me to his house, showed me his library, and his museum of Methodist antiquities and curiosities, offered me a home in his house, and was as kind to arding h I often checked my over-zealous friends, ere disposed to quarrel with all who did not regard me with the same amount of love and confidence as theainst slanderers, either by word or writing, except when justice to my friends has seemed to require it

I have never coes under which I have labored

It is right that aunpleasant in his lot to remind him of his error, and render him more careful and prayerful for the ti penance for my faults

26 I have never thrown the whole blame of my errors on others, nor have I ever seen reason to take the whole to myself God alone is able to distribute praise and bla to men's deserts, and to Him I leave the task At first I was disposed to be very severe towards ious body that I first joined, of a kind of treatht to judge myself a little more leniently

I would not however be unduly severe towards others I cannot tell, when a , how far he may be under the influence of unavoidable error, and how far he may be under the influence of a wicked will I may be able to measure the injustice of the act, but not the wickedness of the actor God alone can do that A ht not to placeof him that he deserves the daard to ed”

27 But when I have made the most liberal allowance for ations my object was the discovery of truth, and that my errors holly unintentional, I ht that I was so weak as to be capable of such grievous errors Even when I take into account the ies of my situation, and all the temptations by which I was assailed, I am still ashamed and humbled, and feel that my place is in the dust But if, while prostrate, God says to me, ”Arise!” shall I resist the call? If in the exercise of His love He restores to me the joys of His salvation, and bids me speak and labor in His cause, shall I not thankfully obey the heavenly voice?

Shall I carry my humility to the extreme of disobedience? Shall I not rather arise, and, with a cheerful and joyous heart, do my Saviour what service I can? I will not presue and punish myself I will leave , and He shall do with me what He sees best I will not reject His mercy I will not resist His will Let Hiood, whether it be in the way of tenderness or of severity It has pleased Hile oodness calls for gratitude and joy

28 And as I act towards God, I will act towards His people If they frown on me, I will take it patiently; but if they welcome me with demonstrations of affection, I will rejoice If they close their pulpits against me, I will say, ”Your will be done” If they open them to me, I will enter, and, to the best of my ability, declare the counsel of God

A portion of God's people,--a large and raciously; and my duty is, and my endeavor, I trust, will be, to reciprocate their love and confidence I say with the poet:--

”People of the living God, I have sought the world around, Paths of doubt and sorrow trod, Peace and coitive unblest; Brethren, where your altar burns O receive er roam, Like the cloud, the wind, the wave; Where you dwell shall be rave; Mine the God whom you adore, Your Redeemer shall be mine; Earth can fill my heart no e that I should have been per under its darkness and horrors

There is a mystery about it that I cannot understand But what I know not now, I may know hereafter The mystery of Job's trial was explained when his afflictions were at an end The e trial is still wrapt up in darkness True, e experience has not been an unes which I could not otherwise have enjoyed I know things which I never could have known, if I had always remained within the enclosures of the Church, and under the influence of Christianity And my heart is more subdued to the will of God I am more at one with Him than I ever was before I love Hiion e of its infinite worth I have, of course, a fuller knowledge of the horrors of infidelity And my faith in God and Christianity rests on a firs which I once only _believed_, I now _know_ Many things for which I had formerly only the testimony of others, I no to be true by s on which I have greater certainty, and on which I can, in consequence, speak with more authority than in my early days There are, too, cases of doubt which I can meet, which formerly I could not have met I can make more allowances too, than formerly, for those who are troubled with doubt, or ensnared by error And , in sootry and intolerance While I see enerally, I love _all_ hard-working churches without partiality I think less of the points on which they differ, and ree They appear to ht once have engaged in controversy, which now appear of little or no moment While I have more zeal for God, I have s in Wesley's hys in other hymns, which formerly I did not understand or appreciate, or understood and appreciated but very imperfectly, which now I understand s in the Bible

30 And I have, at tinificence and wondrousness of the universe; startling views of the awful grandeur andof its great forces, and an overpowering sight and sense of the presence and power of the living God in all, which I never had in my earlier days And I have often had, and still have, at tis of the fact and mystery of existence: of s, and of God