Part 2 (2/2)

”Well, you see, Effie dear--the--(_by a happy inspiration_) but, dear, you're not old enough to understand.”

The _Daily Mail_ has discovered that the ”Motor-Cough” is ”caused by the minute particles of dust raised by motor-cars which lodge themselves in the laryngeal pa.s.sage.” If people _will_ use their gullets as garages, what can they expect?

Ill.u.s.tration: _Horsey Wag_ (_to Mr. and Mrs. Tourey, who are walking up a hill_). ”And do you always take your cycles with you when you go for a walk?”

IN EAST DORSETs.h.i.+RE.--_Cyclist (to Native)._ How many miles am I from Wimborne?

_Native._ I dunno.

_Cyclist._ Am I near Blandford?

_Native._ I dunno.

_Cyclist (angrily)._ Then what do you know?

_Native._ I dunno.

[_Cyclist speeds to No Man's Land in the New Forest._

OUR BARTERERS

BICYCLE.--Thoroughly heavy, lumbering, out-of-date machine, recently doctored up to look like new, for sale. Cost, second-hand, six years ago, 4. Will take 12 for it. Bargain. Would suit a dyspeptic giant, or a professional strong man in want of violent exercise.

SAFETY CYCLE.--Pneumatic tyres. A real beauty. Makers well known in Bankruptcy Court. Owner giving up riding in consequence of the frame being thoroughly unsafe, and the tyres constantly bursting. Would exchange for one of Broadwood's grand pianos or a freehold house in the country.

Ill.u.s.tration: THE ? OF THE DAY.--Should there be a speed (and dust) limit?

THE QUEEN'S HIGHWAY.--_Infuriated Cyclist_ (_after a collision with a fast-trotting dog-cart_). I shall summon you to-morrow! I've as much right on the road as you, Jehu!

_Irate Driver._ And I shall summon _you_! This thoroughfare's mine as well as yours, let me tell you, Scorcher!

_Pedestrian_ (_who has been nearly killed by the collision, and is lying prostrate after being cannoned on to the path, very feebly_). And what about me, gentlemen? Have I any right of way?

The constant strain of driving motor-cars is said to be responsible for a form of nervous break-down which shows a decided tendency to increase.

One certainly comes across a number of cars afflicted in this way.

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